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0 libido :(

3 replies

Kione · 12/11/2011 13:10

I cam here when my DD was 4 months saying that my libido was low, that I didn't feel like having sex etc, and you all told me it was completely normal.

But it has been two years since DD was born and the situation is the same if not worse.

I was doing it because I felt guilty for DP, I know some of you will think this is very stupid, but the guilt was worse than actually doping it not wanting cos some day in the end I enjoyed.

But I was talking to a friend and she told me that it is very normal for women not to feel lik ehaving sex when stressed or certain changes happen in their lives. she sais sometimes she goes 6 weeks at a time and she doesn't even have children but sometimes a stressful job. She adviced to stop doing it just for him if I didn't want to do it, and I tried that.

Things just spiralled down, I can't remember the last time we did it, I just hate the thought of sex, I hate the fact that I don't feel like doing it. I hate myself as a partner, its so bad that I feel embarrassed if he tries to do something, I just curl in disgust.

I love him dearly and my whole problem is that I am hurting him, not gicing him what he would love to do with me, he is undestanding and loving, but he thinks I don't love him, which really hurts.

The worst thing is that this happened with my previous partner, we didn't have children but I genuinely think I just fell out of love with him. So we broke up.

But I do love this guy, I do want to be with him, I love for the three of us to be a family because we have so much fun otherwise.

Do you think I should talk to the doctor? I went to Relate, but they thought there was something wrong with us as a couple and they said he should come with me to the councelling sessions and to be honest, I really don't think there is anything wrong with us, and all the questions and exercises I did in 3 sessions with them seemd out of place.

I really think is me, in my head. I just don't know how to tackle it, the only other thing I can think of is going ot the doctor.

I just would like to read if some of you have gone trough something similar and if you came out, it really feels like I am going to a really dark place and sinking more and more and ist just more and more difficult to come out.

Please don't be too harsh, I really don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
Kione · 12/11/2011 13:11

Sorry the spelling, I am dislexing and being upset doesent help

OP posts:
nomadwantshome · 12/11/2011 13:43

Hi
I'm in much the same position as you although my libido does improve mi cycle and just before my period. Even so, were so out of step with each other now it's tricky. I've thought about con selling and going to gp but am reluctant.

Have you talked honestly to him?

Kione · 12/11/2011 13:49

Hi, thanks for writing. And yes, 100% honest. I tell him exactly how I feel, he understands and puts no pressure, but today for example, I can tell he would like to, you know, all loving and all that and it just makes me feel terrible. We put DD for her nap and I was just dreading the moment and eventually I just had to tell him that I just don't want to and burst into tears and he just hugged me.

I went to counselling, Relate, but it didn't seem fitting because they thought there was a problem with us as a couple and I really strongly believe this is not the case. They try to onvinced me that it wasn't just my problem, but I think it is, because over the years he has improved sooo much, you know giving afection, doing things for me to make me happy and stuff, we should be so happy :(

Sorry the rant.

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