How do you boost your self-esteem?

[catyc]

This is a health question, honest!!

I've had PND since my DS was born (just coming up to 1 yr). It hasn't stopped my loving him but it has led to me neglecting the house/myself/dp & getting a bit run down physically.

How do you make yourself feel better (chocolate only works short-term & is affecting my waistline)? And when you know what you should do, but can't quite be bothered, how do you kick yourself up the backside?

I'm nearly at the point where I want to start going out socialising a bit more but still need to get over the whole "I'm so fat & ugly, nobody wants to talk to me" feelings.

Also, can anyone recommend clothes shops/styles for a slightly overweight pear-shape?

All suggestions welcome. Thank you!!!!!!

Sounds like you're doing well.

Ideas for boosting self-esteem:

1. Don't try to do too much too fast, but do try to get a little more exercise and a little more socila contact. You'll find you have more energy as you do more.

2. Do things you like and are good at (eg. crafts, singing, other music, making a special cake, even putting make-up on properly).

3. Make yourself look really nice and notice the extra smiles etc. you get - smile back!

4. Fnd some time just for yourself and use it in any way you like: have a bath, take up learning French, slob in front of the telly. Whatever.

As for pear shapes - long taiored tops I think are good (being a bit on the pear shaped side myslef). But I am by no means an expert.

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Believe in yourself! Several times a day, no matter whether things are going well or poorly, tell yourself something nice about yourself.

Every day or so, write down something that was good about yourself that day - as many somethings as you want. It can be as small as 'I got both of us washed and dressed before his morning nap' (that's something I wrote in my book!) because on days that you don't manage such a thing, it is reassuring to know that you can do it.

You have the right to feel miserable - you don't have to be happy all the time. You also have the right to be happy! It sounds trite, but accepting that sometimes I can feel down, or not bother to look after mine as I feel I ought to, and it doesn't make me a bad mother, has helped me a lot.

Once you start going out socialising it gets easier and easier, and as you feel more confident in yourself, the need for chocolate diminishes, and (hopefully) so does the waistline. BTW, doing 20 situps a day for a few weeks got my beached whale waistline down at least one dress size, and did a heck of a lot for my self-esteem!

Feel well, and keep posting.

Go shopping and buy some easy clothes that you feel good in - when you find something, if you can afford it, buy two! This means you'll always have something comforting to wear even when one is in the wash.

I think you are getting over the worst if you are contemplating getting 'back out there' - well done you!

Try to eat properly (you know what you should do there!).

Try to think of something you'd really LIKE to do as opposed to something you feel you OUGHT to do - and do it!

Good luck, keep us posted x E

Get DP and some friends to write down some things they love and appreciate about you (give them some time to go away and do it, otherwise they'll freeze and not be able to think of anything and you'll feel even worse ). You can write stuff down for them too. I've done this with a group of friends and its quite surprising to find out what other people think your good qualities are!

I know this may sound sanctimonious and trite, but try helping someone else. Even in a small way, perhaps you could tell your HV or Dr that you'd be happy to speak to any new mums who may have or could develop PND. Even if you don't get called on, you're available to help someone from first hand experience and I think that will make you feel good. It certainly helped me some way down the line from my son being diagnosed with autism. Then eat chocolate, read HEAT, go for a walk on your own, hit M&S (the only shop where I don't feel like a pear shaped freak ), watch a weepie, vote on Pop Idol etc etc

Since I have lost 12 lbs, I have started feeling sexier again. I can look people in the eyes and smile. I am still bigger than I had ever been before (need to lose 2 stone still), but I look much better, and my skin looks healthier with eating more salad/veg./fruit.

As a fellow sufferer of depression, I totally get where you are at the moment. Chocolate is not the answer, and it took me being three stone overweight before I would accept that! Small quantities are fine though! I did an 'Italian for beginners' class one evening a week last year, and had to chat to people. It did help.

I too think that M & S is tops for making you feel thinner. I get into a size 12 pair of jeans from there!

If you can, try to get a few minutes of fresh air for a stroll, weather-permitting. I find that that is a nice pick-me-up when I'm feeling down, as I get a little bit of exercise and the fresh air usually helps too- just to get out of the house. HTH

a good haircut is a great morale booster I think. also a nice way to get a couple of hours by yourself...