I'm pretty sure there is 'something' going on, or at least decinitely was when i was a child. I'm now being treated for MH problems, (bipolar) so it's hard to work out what is what now. More out of curiousity than anything, although i suppose it could help with treating the mh stuff, and i'm hoping to do open university if I ever get well enough.
i do have a ed pschologist report saying i'm dyslexic (tbh if i even am, it's minor in the list of weird stuff my brain does) and she put that some aspects that i have are sometimes called dyspraxia (although i thought it is a separate thing?) the report is from when i was 19 though, and i was referred, at my request, from college, to see if i had dyspraxia.
i'm not even sure aspergers is the right word - i think i'm ok socially, i just get nervous and say stupid things or get excited and say stupid things, lol, but i am definitely bipolar so that explains that. i was deeply unpopular and 'different' at school, but i always just put down to a combination of me being a bit odd, and them being not so clever. i'm really not a genius, these days i have such a bad memory that i struggle with community classes, but i used to comfortably be in the top 5 of 150 in exams (apart from the odd one that i did utterly awful in - it was always extremes) the dyslexia report said 98th percentile, which is top in a group of 50, which is probably right - in a group of educated people i feel quite slow, but in workplaces (i have only really held down jobs needing no qualifications, and anyway i don't really have any) i feel clever.
anyhow, that's not the point. the point is, my brain is odd. eg i do weird sensory things - they were worse when i was a child, but i suppose i don't spend hours a day in a school now, so who knows? i know that school used to make me feel panicky and unsttled - the same way a piece of clothing or a noise does when it's not right. i used to wrap myself in loads of layers of clothes, even in summer, self harm, push myself into small spaces, etc. i went months without brushing my hair because it felt funny, and weeks without washing or brushing my teeth ( i do now, don't worry! although i have to be sedated for the dentist and gaven't been for about 3 years, not because it hurts, but because i hate metal things in my mouth - if a fork touches my teeth i can't finish the meal. i know i need to go though - i can't chew with one side at all now without pain and all my teeth wobble, but that's another story.)
even now, i'm sat here adjusting my clothes and getting a bit het up about the waistband on my knickers touching my c section scar, despite it being 19 months old.
I had speech therapy for a lisp that is still there, i was 11 before i could ride a bike, still can't swim, handwriting awful. Apparentally i was reading at 2, before i was talking properly. i certainly remember reading adults books when i was little, eg my mums textbooks when i was in infants. My spelling has gone worse lately but I think that is the medication I am on. In primary school swimming lessons, there was a group for swimmers, a group for non swimmers, and me and a boy who spent most of tge week in special school, in the baby pool, with a ta trying to get us to let the water touch the backs of our heads (he got it before me). One of the primary school teachers in year3 took to trying to rid me of my fears by forcing me to climb stairs that had those gaps in them. that ended in me face down screaming. school 'threatened' me with an educational psychologist, but my mum refused as she didn't want our private business aired.
So something was/is going on. Not sure if it would do any good to find out what. could it just be dyspraxia? is there even any way to look into it more? everything tends to get blamed on bipolar these days, and i do have that, but i think tbe above is something else. my sister is a teacher and she says she would send me for assessment if i turned up in her class.