Phobia of embarassing myself

[starbright]

This may sound really strange but just wondered if anyone else suffers from this problem.
Since having my children I have become increasingly worried about messing my pants in public.So much so I have to know that were I am going their is toilets nearby and usually tend to wear tenna lady pads most days for sercurity.
It effects my life so much and I make sure I have extra pads with me and a packet of anti diarrohea tablets just in case I need them.I would'nt contemplate goung on a long journey in a car as I would feel trapped.

Reading this back it sounds so silly and am ashamed to admit this to anyone,even my DH and family.I just make excuses all the time to not go to family gatherings etc.
I don't know whether this is connected to giving birth in anyway as I know whren I had my children and was in labour the midwife sais you may go to the toilet whilst pushing,I don't know where this fear has come from but it is with me everyday and dictates my life so much,even to the point where I watch what I eat if I know I have got to go out the next day and don't eat most mornings before going out on the school run.
Every trip has to be plannedin my head around how far I am from home and where i feel is safe.

Would be gratful for any advice.

i have this problem when going to supermarkets i feel like i have diorreah(sp?) and feel like i am going to mess myself too i get stomach cramps and clunch by buttocks tight even though my stomach might be empty.
i also get hot flushes just because of the fear .i have pretended to be pregnant even when im not just to go toilet because i cant feelingd of urgency and when i get there i dont need to go ?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE HUN
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Muma3-Thank you for your reply.I am the same as far as supermarkets are concerned.I try to walk around and take my mind off my anxiety by engaging the kids in helping me find what I need.I like to know where things are on the shelves to tend to go to the supermarket I am familiar with.If I start to feel panicky I take deep breaths and find it helps to walk around rather than standing still.

Do you prefer to go shopping alone or with some?
I normally go in with my dd whilst my DH waits in the car with my ds.I feel more sercure to know he is outside waiting if I needed to get home quickly.

i used to go alone before me and dp got together or before we got a car ,but now either we go together or he goes.
i prefer tescos because the toilets are friendly , clean and just there >>> lol
i think my phobia stems from the fear of not having enough money on me , i get more panicky as i get to the till and it doesnt matter if i have £10 or £1000 i still feel worried.
so silly aint it lol

Muma3-Not silly at all.I know exactly how you feel.It is such a deliberating phobia and one which many people would'nt want to talk about openly.