alcoholic

[mich1268]

I have been on yet another binge this weekend and have resigned myself to the idea that i have to stop completely. I have been to AA and hated it but am reluctantly going back tommorrow night. None of the other alcohol treament programmes have meetings near me, so I guess i am stuck with AA. does anyone else feel the same way? does anyone live in the sussex/kent area and have the same problem. I need support badly

Have you approached your local Community Alcohol Team for support?

dont want anything on my dr's notes and cant because, I am a social work student and will risk coming across future 'clients'. Not good idea. but it means I am isolated. there are certain AA groups I couldnt attend to for the same reason. How to make life difficult!

Oh, I was going to suggest Community Alcohol Team as well, but yes, it could be problematic in your circumstances. I don't know about Social Work, but there are jobs I'm barred from now because of my medical records. Nothing that I actually want to do though, so it was worth it for me.

I hated AA too, but I think I'm very much in the minority for that. I was just far too anxious at the time and if anything it hindered my progress. That's certainly not a typical experience though; of all my friends in recovery I'm the only one who didn't do it through AA. I am jealous sometimes of the network they have and the journey they took. AA's system is thorough and the support is there forever, or at least as long as you want it. That's one huge advantage AA members have over those being treated purely in the medical sector.

What kind of meetings have you tried so far. I'm in London, so I had a huge choice of different types when I was going. I found the women only meetings far less intimidating than the big mixed groups. I don't know how much choice you have in Kent/Sussex though. Another thing to consider is what time you go to meetings. I used to prefer to go to daytime meets when possible, because that was when I would have been drinking if I was at home. I know that's not possible for everyone because of other commitments.

What kind of support do you have in real life? Are those around you aware of what you're trying to do? Are they onboard? DP gave up alcohol with me and has remained sober since even though he was not alcoholic (nowhere near it) and that was the single best thing that anyone could have done for me. Several years on, we still don't have alcohol in the house, go to pubs or socialise with drinkers.

If you need online support you can PM me. I know how hard this journey is but I also know how worthwhile and necessary it is. You are doing the right thing.

Best of luck x

dont know how to PM i am new to this site. The meetings round here are ok, but I dont like being at the meetings. It feels like I am living in paralell worlds when I go to them. I am going to give it a go on my own using close friends and support networks like this to keep me going. Most of my friends dont know. but the ones that do vary in their ability to support me. One doesnt like it at all because i am showing her a mirror when i talk about it, plus she gives terrible advice. My other friend is not stable herslf at the mo so she cant handle it really. I have one really good friend whos partner is currently being thrown out of her house due to drink and drugs and he is on his way to AA (finger crossed) she has been a real support. I rely on her a lot. My DP (does that mean dear partner?) still drinks, he not an alcoholic, but he is struggling with giving up. So its difficult. I go to amstedam on thursday, booked 10 months ago. seemed like a good idea at the time. It will be carnage. Anyway, sober until then, get the weekend over and done with. sober sober sober. I feel strong today. thanks for your kind words.

You're welcome

You can PM anyone by clicking on 'Message Poster' on the blue bar above one of their posts. Yes, DP stands for Dear Partner. Same goes for DH(usband), DD(aughter) etc.

Your friend who obviously has issues with alcohol herself might become a problem for you. I had to cut contact with a few people myself; it's pretty typical IME. Some of my friendships were only formed because they were drinking buddies and I had nothing in common with them once I was sober. Other people just didn't get it and were hazardous because they kept offering me a 'small glass of wine' because 'you can't get drunk on that' . There was nothing sinister in their motives, they just genuinely didn't understand and I didn't have the energy to keep on explaining. It's easier to deal with once you've got a bit of sobriety behind you and you feel stronger.

I'm sure you'll figure out what kind of support you need from people, and then make sure you tell them. IMO being around alcohol at all for the first year is a risk that isn't worth taking and if you feel the same it's reasonable to ask people to not drink in your company, and for you to avoid people who insist on doing so. If DP isn't alcohol dependant then it should be easy for him to do this with you. If he won't, then would he at least agree not to bring alcohol into your home and not to come home drunk?

Get the weekend over and done with and then make a commitment to stop for good. Don't make any more plans until you know you can go through with them without drinking. If you find that you can't do it on your own then reconsider AA, your GP, private treatment (if you can afford it; I couldn't). Make sobriety your first priority to give yourself the best possible chance of beating this.

Keep posting and take care. I'm routing for you.

Any team will have 'x-files' which are protected clients - files kept locked away, only team leader knows who they are etc. Its worth talking to your local team hypothetically about it. I work in community drug team and we have various healthcare and social care professionals with us who have confidential service without problem.