Middle aged men--neglected by the NHS

[Abr1de]

Something on a thread has touched a nerve in me. It was in Bereavement, where a MNer mentioned that she thought the GP hadn't taken her husband's symptoms seriously. She said that healthy middle aged men don't go to the doctor's without good reason. Her husband went on to die. A tragedy.

In the last year my husband went to the GP with a very large lump on his shoulder. She told him it was 'cosmetic' and the NHS wouldn't treat it. So he made arrangements to have it done privately, using his company scheme. The specialist was shocked and said that the GP couldn't have known that the lump was benign without the tissue being tested. (As a sidenote, the GP practice senior partner then had the nerve to ring up my husband and castigate him for going private, implying that he was queue-jumping.) As it turned out the lump was benign. Phew.

In the meantime my BIL had symptoms very strongly linked to colon cancer. He went to the doctor's and told he had piles. Eventually he managed to get himself tested more thoroughly and was told again that there was nothing wrong with him. Last month he had a foot of his colon removed because it was cancerous.

Is there a pattern here or am I being paranoid? (You can tell me if so. I should add that in other respects our GPs have been wonderful).

But I know if I went to the GP with lump in my breast they'd have me MRI/x-rayed very promptly. So why not these men? Middle-aged men are often frantically busy with work and family. It is hard for them to even get appointments with their GPs in some areas. If they make all the effort to get there it's because they suspect that something is really wrong.

Very sad, isn't it.
I worry about this, too, dh would only ever go to a dr if something is really up. And then not to taken seriously is just wrong. If there will be a campain, i'm in.

There's no gender bias, IMO. Middle-aged women are equally fobbed off as frequently. It's stress, the menopause, perimenopause, a 'normal' side effect of childbirth, etc.

And whilst breast cancer prevention is often effective, far more women die of heart disease, many of whom are not treated effectively as their symptoms tend to differ from men's.

A friend's cousin just died at 37 from bladder cancer. She was fobbed off by her GP for years with 'recurrent UTI's.

But at least the women are more likely to go to the doctor's. Men often only go if they're nagged to. Then, if it's not taken seriously, they tend to shrug and forget about it or feel bad that they made a fuss. In fact both my husband and BIL don't quite fit into this stereotype and did make a fuss.

But I agree with expat about certain diseases being more responded to, seemingly, expat. And about the heart disease.

'But at least the women are more likely to go to the doctor's. '

Not necessarily. I'm the type that will try every online remedy going before going to see a doctor. I hate going and won't, usually.

A lot of middle-aged women, too, put things off because they don't have time or feel they don't have time for themselves among juggling work, family and other commitments.

My sister is like that. She's a type II diabetic with hypertension and cardiac disease, age 44, who was only diagnosed when she passed out at work.

And just look at how many women on here haven't been for smear tests in years, if ever.

True enough. I suppose I just feel frustrated that in these other cases people were going to the doc and still nothing happened. My BIL could have been spared two operations.