Comatose Fanjo

[libidno]

I have NO libido anymore, and would like to do something about it. DH is very VERY patient about it, but it's just not fair on him. We probably have sex about once a month, and tbh that's more of a pity shag. We're v close and affectionate, and enjoy lots of snuggling and kissing, but quite frankly if he were to say that's all he wanted for the rest of our lives I'd be perfectly happy with it.

Logically I know that there are lots of libido-killing factors in my life at the moment:

Three young DC (6, 4 and 1.5). Also still BFing. Feel totally "touched out" all the time!
Mild sleep deprivation (youngest wakes up at 5.30am)
Body issues - horrible crepey skin on tummy.
Slight fear of getting pg again.

Apart from the last one, there's not much I can do about any of these, so I was wondering if there was some female version of viagra? I'd love to feel frisky again. I think DH is getting insecure that I don't fancy him anymore . I do! Or at least, if anyone could give the horn, it's him.

haven't got any advice but didn't want to read and run

bumping for you and here's hoping someone helpful comes along
xx

Can I please give you a round of applause for the best thread title of 2011?

Mostly just sympathy from me, I'm a bit the same and it is circumstantial in the main: small kids, BF, knackered - hardly a magic formula for sexytimes.

I think having time alone for yourself is important (have a fiddle in the shower for example ) and also him making time for you to spend on yourself so you feel good about yourself - I know if I manage to shave my legs these days I feel like I've seriously done myself up. Fear of the DC waking up is a big thing for me too - don't want to be noisy and wake them so am uptight to start with, and don't want to be disturbed. Hotel? Travelodge once a month might be an economical way of doing it?

Don't mean to be flippant, honestly. Feel your pain.

No advice but I know the feeling of being 'touched out'!

I am sure this is very common - I feel the same and I think bfing has a lot to do with it? A makeover to feel super sexy? And I am sure the skin on your tummy is the last thing on your DH's mind! have you looked up any herbal remedy type things?

Comatose fanjo made me laugh though. Mine's not so much comatose as afraid - the memory of the forceps has not gone away yet (6 months ago)...

I think reassuring your DH is the main thing. Don't be afraid to talk to him about you libido after having the DC's and let him help you attempt to get it back.

I think you need to figure out possibly why you drive is so low. Is it the mundane routine of looking after the kids? Is it that you're possibly more tired than you think? Sometimes it take a woman to have more sex to get back in the mood IYSWIM.

Be back tomorrow. Take care.

Gosh you could be describing me......I know that doesn't help, except to know you are not alone.

You could be describing me too, apart from the bf part. Am really hoping someone comes along with soem miracle advice for us all.

No miracle - sorry. Just joining in. Am touched out too and feeling sorry for my DH.

Have 20 month old DD and 8 months pregnant so really really don't want any erm action so to speak.

I wish I could find it from somewhere as DH is fabulous and lovely and certainly still do fancy him.

Just feel my body isn't my own just now. And I know with DC2 imminent and BFing to follow that it will be quite a long time before I get my body back to myself never mind back to wanting some sort of action.

I am going to hang out here in the hope of good advice as I do feel DH is getting very little intimacy (even just kisses and cuddles) and it must be really hard for him. He hasn't said anything or even as much as hinted but I feel like he is coming last just now however I cannot motivate my fanjo either.