Need advice about BLADDER CANCER please

[FilthyRichAndCatflap]

Hi all,
Really relying on the excellent people of mumsnet for some help here, as I am a bit lost, and the Macmillan helpline is really busy and cant get through to a nurse.

My mum was diagnosed with bladder cancer in autumn 07, and underwent a procedure called a interurethral transection on a bladder tumour, followed by the bladder chemo. All went well, and subsquent checkups have been clear.

Since last October, she has suddenly been feeling extremely fit and well, put it down to finally making the last recovery from her op. Has been travelling extensively, etc.

Went for scheduled checkup last Thursday and the consultant found 3 new tumours... He apparently is quite an unsympathetic chap and didnt give her any support about this, other to say that he'd book her in for an op at the end of June when she returns from her next holiday. She has no idea if it will be the same sort of op, or just a biopsy, or what, and now he is on holiday too. She has got hold of the secretary finally, who has got her an emergency appointment this week with another doctor who should be able to clear things up. Until then, she is understnadably quite nervous.

My position is:
when she first told us about the cancer, in 07, I was going through PND (undiagnosed until shortly afterwards) and a lot of marital issues. My mum and I had had a huge falling out some months previous and were not really on talking terms. She was very casual about the cancer thing and I suspected it was less serious than it was, and, I am ashamed to say, I was extermely unsympathetic. Consequently I dont have all the back-story other than to know what procedure whe had (she emailed us its name in case anything happened and we needed to sue!) and I am now embarassed to ask her as it means admitting to being so uncaring at the time. We are getting on a lot better now, btw. As time has gone on, I have recovered, and so has she, so it didnt seem such a big deal. Now it has come back, and I am in enough of my right mind to be rather terrified for her.

Can anyone advise me on
a) what the doctor might do next
b) does this mean a poor prognosis for the next few years?
c) is it generally life-threatening?
d) is it hereditary, if so, what should I be doing about it?

She is on her own (widowed) and not in the same country as me. although identical healthcare system, ie NHS-type. So I cant just go and see her tomorrow.

I need to go out now for a couple of hours, but I will check back later and would be ever so grateful for any help. Thanks in advance x

Whilst I cannot comment on your Mums situation, my Uncle has had three lots of treatment for bladder ca and as I understand it, it is very treatable.

Please talk to your Mum about her cancer and about her treatment to date because no amount of advise is the same as talking to her directly and learning what has happened to her so far. I'm certain she won't mind a bit that you are asking now, don't feel ashamed about the past. You can explain that you didn't really fully understand her diagnosis last time because you were sick too and therefore you didn't talk as you perhaps should have.

Good luck with talking to your Mum, I hope it all goes well and that her current treatment is a great success.

You were not 'uncaring', you were ill, struggling to cope, and you did not understand the seriousness of her condition. Apologise for not being supportive last time, and ask her to explain so that you can give her the support she needs and can expect from her loving dd.

SIL's FIL has bladder cancer, and my understanding is that it is completely treatable as long as it is contained within the bladder itself.

He has had his bladder wall scraped to remove all tumours, followed by localised x-ray therapy involving having a radioactive substance placed inside the bladder for short periods (minutes or hours, I think). He has just completed an outpatient therapy every week for a couple of months, where a chemical is placed in the bladder for an hour or so. It is something related to the BCG vaccine, and his family have to be pedantic about toilet hygiene - lots of bleach and handwashing - for some time afterwards to avoid being infected by TB.

All his treatment has been via the urethra, no cutting.

He has been very open about it all because he didn't want people to panic about the C-word. His cancer was caught very early: he had had just one episode of blood in his urine, no other symptoms, but his GP had taken it seriously and sent him for investigations immediately, and he wanted to ensure that everyone knew to get any similar symptoms checked out without delay.

I think all this began about 2y ago. He has had two courses of the BCG stuff. He has checkups where they visually examine his bladder lining using a camera via a catheter about 3-6 monthly. That's how they caught a recurrence very early and treated it.

He is in every other way fit and healthy.

I hope thie helps a bit.

Thanks so much! I feel a lot more positive now, having heard your stories and have talked to a friend this evening too about it. I am going to email mum now and tell her how I feel and apologise properly and hope that we can talk openly about it all from now on.

Much gratitude

Cancer Reasearch UK nurses are brilliant. They can be contacted on 0808 800 4040 or by clicking here.

Good for you, do come back here and let us know how you get on.

Can I add that Macmillan will be more than willing to help you. They don't just help the patients. Give them a call on 0808 808 00 00. Or through their website. I don't have any connections with Cancer Research but my guess is that they will be very helpful too and like Macmillan, you won't need to have cancer to be helped by them.

same experience here with FIL. Was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2005. Has had localised treatment and chemo for 3 reoccurences now. He has been told that the chances are that it will keep reoccurring but as long as doesnt spread it will be treatable. All the best.

My Dad has had 2 occurrences of bladder cancer, actually the second was just polyps that were not malignant. The treatment was almost identical to the description form prettycandles. No cutting, everything done through the uretha. As long as the cancer has not spread it is a very treatable one and seems to be quite common in older men.