Low self asteem.

[Donbean]

I have a friend who has no self asteem at all in any shape or form.
She is totally negative about herself constantly but is a beautiful person whos friendship i adore.
How would you boost some ones self asteem.
She doesnt seem to hear it when i tell her good stuff about herself and my honest opinion of her. I cannot find fault with any thing about her at all.

Donbean I am not sure that you can boost someone elses self esteem in the way that you describe without them acknowledging/acting to do something about it themselves. But I may be wrong. I'm sure other mnetters will have some thoughts. However, I do think you are being a lovely friend. Good for you.

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how about inviting her out with a few of your friends

you can tell them in advance that she is a bit low on self esteem and just get them to make a bit of an effort to be chatty and listen to her

I used to have no confidence and very low self esteem and what helped me most was when I had this really great job and the people there were so nice and actually made me feel like I was worth listening to and that i had something to offer....

Hm, its feeling useless knowing what thoughts she has about herself and not knowing how to counteract them.
She showed me an excert from her diary, her thoughts which were awful.
She has deep rooted problems as you say.
I kind of feel helpless

Starlover, we are a group of three friends who regularly go out and get on very very well with loads in common.
I think that because i can relate to her and her feelings (im the same) we do get on well.

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i dont want to sound cheesy with it. Just im shocked by how some one can keep those thoughts inside them and still function on a daily basis, even get out of bed and face the world.

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erm, useless mother comes into it ALOT, how she doesnt feel good enough, useless wife, just totally negative.
I know this because of converstaions we have had on many occassions but to see it written down was mind blowing.
Not suicidal or any thing like that, but i guess that these thoughts are like toothache, always there, very chronic and very painful.

Blueteddy, what useful things has your councellor said to you that have switched a light on for you?

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dont think that she has ever cosidered counselling and i think she could do with it but time is short for her.

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I will.
meeting up with her this weekend, will have a talk to her about it.
Thanks and good luck blueteddy,

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