Trying to get mum home, how long??

[lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs]

my mum had a stroke over two weeks ago she's been in hospital since. She has recently been moved to a rehab unit and hates it. She gets sent back to her room when she has been told to walk by physic. She has been verbally abused by another patient, had to wait four hours for a drink, been forced feed meds, eaten mash potatos four days running and been made to wait hours when in pain.
She wants to come home and dad wants her home ASAP too. However, she can't eat anything that isn't blended, her OP scar and staples set bleeding, can't see to her left, and needs help with all care needs.

I have asked my dad to talk to doctors on Monday and arrange a meeting ASAP with OT, physo, doctor and social worker so we can discuss her coming home.
Not been here before so no idea how long we can expect her to stay in rehab. I think unless she knows, she is likely to discharge herself :(

Help!!

my own Mum has home care nurses coming into her at home a few times a day & an alarm system that she wears around her neck so she can get paramedics out instantly if she falls etc

My Dad is her carer though, & he does take on the burden of washing her etc, which isn't ideal as he's getting frail & ill himself, but I think that might be down to my Mum refusing full nursing care

so in short, yes there is help there she can have at home instead - insist on it with the SWs, by the sounds of the place she's in she'll be FAR better off for it

good luck

We discharged my Nanna after a stroke after she was moved to a rehab unit which turned out to be the dementia ward. We borrowed a w/c and the nurses didnt give us any help with meds. I could tube feed & knew the incontinence people for help. She also had a v helpful GP. She made massive progress once home (losing tube, walking& using loo!). So self discharge could be an option.

Has she had a SALT assess her feeding recently? The hosp won't move on until they have.
She will need OT assessment of home & SS if she will need carers help

Yes had salt assessment for feeding, she's moved from tube feeds to baby food.
Thanks for advice. They don't have downstairs loo and have a shower but it's over the bath type. I don't think we can wait for downstairs bathroom to be built though.
If she discharges herself will they get funny about home help? How long does it take to set out home help?
OT has said she will come and do home assessment.

Speak to OT, it might not take long, from when MIL was able to eat 'normal' food (as opposed to tubes) they had OT round to house to assess and a going home date was set within a few weeks. There was no downstairs bathroom but they would have home carers round to bed bath her. FIL was offered lifts and would have had a proper bed provided as well.
If you look at it as freeing up a bed in rehab, which then frees a bed in hospital, you will be doing them a favour, so push for it.
It will be a lot of work for whoever is caring for her though, even though there will probably be home help available, they were hesitant with FIL being her sole carer as he is registered disabled adn could not lift her, but OT still said she could go home.

This is all dependant on area though, so make sure you have a written list of q's for OT about what you will need and where it can be got from and what you need. Hope she is home soon

Thanks will get ball rolling on Monday. Dad will be her carer and he is registered disabled too but my brother lives at home and has said he will change his shifts so he can be there when needed.

Does she have stairs /stair lift?

It's about 15 years since we sorted my Nanna out but SS were helpful then. But theres no money now ...

No stair lift. This is her first stroke and she's only 54 and before this was very mobile and independent.
I'm worried about my dad doing the main caring, and font think he considered things like, who will care for her if he is cooking, bathing, shopping, at appointments ect. She has all her memory and is very chatty but has lost most sight in left eye, has been having fits, get confused and not able to stand unaided.

I think it might depend on what area you are in, as to what helps comes easily, but it is there

my parents moved from one area in the NW where my Mum got very little home nursing or SW help, to another in the NE where she gets lots, after her last hospital stay there they had no problem getting the nursing help, they weren't doing her meds for her, but were coming in to do here diabetic jabs for her, & more recently they have taken over her other drugs too, because she refuses to let my Dad organise them for her & has messed her drugs up several times - so now they are doing that too

they are in the process of moving back to the NW & the SW they are currently under are helping make sure all the care gets passed back over

my Dad is also disabled, though nothing like as much as my Mum who is wheelchair bound, but they now live in a sheltered type bungalow, so the help came easily I think for that reason, SW OT etc are already attached to the housing complex they live in, so even though they refused any help in the beginning it was always there -

It did take my ringing SW & explaining my own worries over them as regards my Dad taking on too much & my Mums problems, after that the help was pretty much forced on them after my Mums next hospital stay.

It might be worth baring in mind, if they are older, they likely come from a generation who don't accept help easily & are embarrassed to ask, so even though they are saying YES, when questioned by SW & OT they play it all down - my Dad definitely did that, insisted he could cope with a lot more than he really could, even though he was accepting help

so in short, it might help if you or your brother speak to SW directly & lay it on thick about your own worries too

Also if they are still dealing with stairs etc - might they move?? - it might be worth you're looking into HANOVER RETIREMENT HOMES - they are country wide & my Mum & Dads place is lovely & includeds all kinds of things, even cooked meals in a restaurant - they could even take their pets, & its rental, despite them already owning their own property - the only thing they don't like is they moved to a different area, on a bit of a whim on my Mums part, & they don't like the area, & as my Dad says, they feel its a bit like "waiting for Godo" living there, due to high death rate - they are young incomparison to a lot of others there - hence why they are now moving back to their old place

Been offline all day but don't worry about stairlifts, FIL's house is semi detached, bathroom upstairs but loo downstairs. MIL had no real use of her legs and they were not remotely concerned that she couldn't get up the stairs. The dining roomwas going to be her bedroom so she wouldn't have to go upstairs, plus the weight of the equipment etc was a worry.

But yy, call SS yourelf and ask what help there is, and get someone else in teh room with the OT to ask the questions your dad might not want to/think off.

I think the home carers were going to come round for a few hours each day, which would have allowed FIL to go out and do his stuff as well, but it is all conjecture really depending on what is available for you,

Any news Lisa?

yes they sent her home with no care package in place!!
None of the others working with her eg OT, SALT, Physio ect didnt know she was being discharged. OT came to check the house after she'd been home 2 hours, and no idea of when SALT is back to deal with the fact she's still on baby food¬!
I called SS yesterday, just waiting for them to call back

FFS, how's everyone coping?

we are ok, ss called me today they dont think they will get anyone in till tuesday but did suggest I put a complaint into hospital

Y do, you're pretty on the ball but if your parents had been left to it they'd be stuck

Hi Lisa.................so sorry about your Mum, its just not fair. How is your dh ? xx

Hey triplets, how are you are your lovely lot doing. Dh is doing ok, we are back to hammersmith next month so hoping for some good news at some point. New treatment seems to be working but don't like to get hopes up after last years news :(

Hi Lisa, glad to hear that, its just one step at a time isnt it? All ok here, except Ive over indulged today, inlaws down from London, well I had to be sociable didn`t I [bugrin]

Of course you did :)
How's dh going? How are kiddies? Mine are driving me crazy. Seems if dh doesn't have an appointment one of them does!!
Problem is my mum was my only respite from it all, very selfish thought I know :( now she's another person who needs me :(
Have social worker coming in the morning so hopefully they can offer dad some help :)