Ibs and anxiety, a vicious circle. Advice please!

[RockLover]

I am completely fed up with my stupid stomach and fecking anxiety, it really is soul destroying.

I gave birth to my DS 8 weeks ago after a horrid pregnancy with severe nausea for 9 months (I am emetophobic), plus ibs problems all the way through. Now, since the birth my ibs (I get the diarrhoea type) has been dreadful and I feel ill at least 3 days a week, sometimes more and as a knock on effect my anxiety ramps up because I feel sick. And when my anxiety ramps up, I feel even sicker and my tummy troubles get worse.

I was on Citalopram for about 6 months a few years ago as I had severe anxiety and could barely function, but the meds "cured" me and things went back to normal. Then I moved 200 miles away from my family with my newish DP and fell pregnant and cue ibs and nausea hell.

I am so fed up as I am becoming mildly agoraphobic due to feeling so unwell most of the time, I can barely tell what is the anxiety and what is the ibs. I am going to go back to the dr, but what the hell can they do for me? I don't really want to go back on ADs, but realise I will probably need to.

I feel such a failure that I am struggling so much. Has anyone else suffered with this? How did you deal with it? I would really appreciate any advice you ladies could offer. Thanks.

When you have a new born the chances of feeling any anxiety is higher if you've had it before.
I would imagine the anxiety is spoiling this lovely 'new baby time',more than the IBS
I don't think you are a failure at all and if the ADs help I would take them.

It is spoiling this new baby time because I am feeling constantly sick
and on edge about everything. I want to take us all out on a day trip to the beach if it's sunny at the weekend (lucky that I live near the sea), but the thought of going anywhere too far fills me with dread.

I have made a gp appt for a few weeks time as I am due to take DD and baby ds up to see my parents for the week next week. I am terrified of driving nearly 200 miles on my own with 2 kids and feeling ill and panicky. My usual coping strategies are not doing what they should at the moment.

Can you get in to your GP on an emergency appointment? It does sound like you need some help just to get the anxiety under control. If the AD's work, then take them. I also suffer with anxiety/IBS and I know how utterly awful it is. Take some deep breaths and call the surgery, and by next week you could be feeling better :)

Oh, and have you tried Buscopan/Mebeverine for the IBS? There is also an over the counter remedy called Colpramin (I think) which I have found really helpful.

Thanks Chicken I'll try the Colpramin. I don't think I'll get an appt today, the only other thing is to try and get an urgent one for Monday and go to my parents afterwards, so delay the journey by a day.

The trouble is that I am so disappointed in myself that this has happened again, I suffered for 2 years last time, although I only took the meds for the last 6 months of it. What I really want is to get rid of my fear of being sick, but I know that it's very difficult to treat. When I don't have anxiety the emetophobia seems to almost vanish (I had Norovirus last May and dealt with it really well, drove 200 miles with DD the week after), but when the anxiety is here I feeel sick 24/7 which makes my life very difficult.

One way I am dealing with this fear is by refusing to take my anti-sickness meds and facing my fear head on which I am very pleased with myself for doing. But on it's own, it's not going to beat my anxiety completely, so I do feel I am going to ask for the Citalopram again as it worked really well for me last time.

Don't be disappointed in yourself. You are taking control of the situation and getting help, which IMO is something to feel proud of. I had hyperemesis, so know all about the fear of up-chucking . The fact that you caan see what the problem is is half the battle. Good luck and let us know how you get on :)

Thanks I will Chicken. Have been very self indulgent and just had a little cry as I feel so yuck, I really want to enjoy my beautiful children and at the moment I just can't :(.

However, this time round I can at least parent properly, my poor DD was basically cared for by my parents the last time round as I was barely functioning. I know I will not allow myself to get to that stage this time round though.

Oh and the hyperemesis is hideous isn't it? Was hospitalised for a week with DD as I had sickness and constant diarrhoea and lost 2.5 stone in a month. With DS I didn't throw up, but just had constant nausea for the whole pregnancy which was horrid! I think I'll stop at two thank you very much!

have you ever had cbt? i did for anxiety/ibs and i don't get either anymore.

You poor, poor thing. I really sympathise. I have IBS which flares up from time to time and I am also emetophobic and have been so bad at times that I've been scared to leave the house.

Ultimately emetophobia is about social anxiety and fear of loss of control and public humiliation - it's not surprising that yours is especially bad right now having just gone through pregnancy and birth which you have no mental control over, it's your body that's completely in charge.

Have you thought about having hypnotherapy? I had a couple of sessions and found it really helped me get a handle on it.

Thanks for your replies Applestrudel and Madonna. I have had CBT and I do use what I was taught, hence why I can still get out of the house to do the school run, shopping, medical appts etc. However, I seem to be losing the battle against my anxiety at the mo, which is why I am considering meds again.

I haven't tried hypnotherapy actually, is it very expensive? And how do you find a good practitioner?

Hmmm, that's a question! I honestly can't remember how I found her now. It was a few years ago and I was working in a different city.

I think I found her through this website www.thehypnotherapyassociation.co.uk/.

To be fair it wasn't cheap, hence why I only had 2 sessions! But even after so few, I could feel the difference and start to understand where it was coming from IYSWIM?

She did this thing with me in trance where she asked me to play out the worst thing that could happen in my head (i.e. puke on a bus or in front of my boss or something) and then asked me what the consequences would be if that were to actually happen. And after me going through all these possible emotions of embarrassment, disgust, rejection, humiliation, basically when she boiled it right down the answer was: nothing. Nothing would happen. It simply wouldn't matter.

That was kind of a lightbulb moment.

I'm by no means 'cured' but I do feel more in control of the panicky feelings and if I feel them coming on, or if my IBS starts giving me cramps, I just think 'Oh just piss off, you're not important'.

Thanks for the link Madonna. I've had a really bad weekend so far, been waking up with horrendous stomach cramps which, although they don't lead to diarrhoea, I am not "going" normally. The cramps last on and off all day and I can honestly say I have never suffered with pain as regular as this with my IBS before. I am also feeling sick constantly which I believe is a mixture of the IBS and my anxiety.

I am due to drive to my parents to stay with them this week with DD and DS, but I just don't feel well enough. In fact I can barely leave the house at the moment, I'm just too scared. I feel so guilty that I am not a very good mum, that my DP is having to deal with my constant tears and my parents won't be able to see their grandchildren. They were not happy when I moved away from them last year, they said it was too far and now I am proving them right.

DP thinks all this may have brought on PND and I think he may be right, I don't know what to do.