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General health

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Original poster

Sorry, not a cheerful subject - but can my poor old dad survive this?

24 replies

bibbitybobbityhat · 03/04/2011 22:02

Ddad has lung cancer and a secondary in his hip. We know the cancer is terminal.

He has had four rounds of chemo and was due to have radiotherapy on the hip tumour this week (with the aim to alleviate pain).

After that his oncologist was quite hopeful that he would have several months of relative comfort and feeling quite well.

But ... he is now in hospital with a suspected gastro bug. 24 hours of severe vomiting and d, he is now dehydrated and delusional and very weak.

He is 81 years old and his weight is down to 8.7 stone. He is not in intensive care but - can he pull through?

OP posts:

maxpower · 03/04/2011 22:03

So sorry to hear about your DDad. I genuinely have no answer - can you ask the intensivists? They'll tell you the truth....

StealthPolarBear · 03/04/2011 22:04

no advice to offer but very sorry your dad is so ill :(

timetosmile · 03/04/2011 22:09

I think you can be sure that if it was a sudden-onset, suspected infection, that he will be treated as intensively as the next person (without a terminal diagnosis).
People who are terminally ill (but well-ish, iyswim) can come down with, and recover from, 'ordinary' infections like this, and I hope that that's the case for your Dad.
If it's all very sudden, then he may have a decent chance of picking up over the next few days, but no-one could say for sure.
It must be a very difficult time for all your family, though, so for that I am sorry.

Imnotaslimjim · 03/04/2011 22:09

so sorry to hear your dad is so poorly

Hopefully, I can give a little ray of hope. Your dad will be delusional because he is dehydrated. Once they have that dealt with he will be much more lucid.

I'm assuming they have him on a fluid drip? Are they tube feeding? It sounds like he could possibly do with a little help in that sense

Once you have him home, if he isn't up to eating, Complan and Slimfast are good food substitutes, and you'll get plenty of hidden calories into him that way

I hope he pulls through this safely, and you get to share the comfortable few months the oncologists were so optimistic about

sharbie · 03/04/2011 22:09

sorry to hear this.

i would guess at the moment take it day by day - my grandad is 87 and had a stroke last year, was then discovered to have a tumour in his bowel that cannot be operated on as he is too weak and then stopped eating while in hospital.we were so worried but he rallied and luckily is still here with us.so hard to tell sometimes.

wishing you all the best.

IngridBergmann · 04/04/2011 10:33

Oh Bibbers I am so sorry about your poor Dad.

I hope he gets over this, and they manage to do the RT for him. You must be so worried xx

georgie22 · 04/04/2011 10:39

The hospital team should be monitoring his blood results and will rehydrate as necessary. If he's dehydrated then he's likely to be weak and confused. They will treat him to correct his current problems as they would do anyone in his situation - his cancer diagnosis should have no influence on this. You may well see a different man in 48 hours with fluids on board. Hope things improve for him soon.

gingeroots · 04/04/2011 10:56

if he isn't up to eating, Complan and Slimfast are good food substitutes, and you'll get plenty of hidden calories into him that way

you might/should be able to get meal replacement drinks ( Fortisip are the ones I'm familiar with ) on prescription from GP .

So sorry you're going through this - don't be shy of talking to nurses about his care ,sometimes you have to push to get what seems obvious eg a drip .

Original poster

bibbitybobbityhat · 04/04/2011 11:04

Thank you for the messages. Helps a lot. I am not actually with him - he is being cared for by my stepmother who, luckily, is only in her mid 60s and has been brilliant throughout. I asked if I should go and visit yesterday and she said no as it is possible he is contagious. So I have to wait for her phone calls - had two yesterday and am literally just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. Its hard. I expect she is at the hospital with him now. She also has to update my older brother, my dad's sister, etc.

OP posts:

frostyfingers · 04/04/2011 14:16

Can you do the updating for her - when my mum was ill, we set up a sort of triangle. I told one person, they told two more and so on and it helped not having to repeat things all the time. Of course she may prefer to do the calling, but it's worth asking, and then at least you will feel that you're helping.

Original poster

bibbitybobbityhat · 04/04/2011 16:14

Funny you should say that - I got a call from my brother this afternoon to update me. Ddad has eaten today and kept the food down (good) but had got out of bed and fallen over (bad) and was so upset and confused that the hospital called dstepmum and asked her to come in to sit with him and reassure him (v bad). I've told him (db) to keep me up to date rather than her having to do it all.

He is clearly very ill and I'm slightly alarmed that hospital are keeping to their v strict no visitors until after 6pm policy in my dad's case (or at least they would be had he not had this fall). He needs someone with him because he seems not to know where he is and is anxious.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 04/04/2011 18:07

oh your poor dad :(

charlieandlola · 04/04/2011 18:11

I'm sorry to hear your dad is so poorly. FWIW, I would phone the hospital ward yourself for an update on him - the nurses are often more realistic and will tell you bluntly if you need to get to see him.
If he needs that high a level of monitoring, you can ask for him to be moved to HDU or to a nursing home and then return for his chemo treatment.
Its so hard - I have walked in your steps.

Cymar · 04/04/2011 20:14

Sorry to hear about your dad OP. If it's any help at all, can you ask a Dr for some Ensure/Fortisip or something similar to help build him up a bit?

spiderlight · 04/04/2011 21:41

Your poor dad :( If it helps, my dad was in Intensive Care for two weeks when he was 84 and I was told by several experienced ITU nurses that confusion and disorientation are very, very common in ITU patients. The lights are on all the time, there are lots of machines making noises day and night and the whole environment lends itself to confusion. My dad was sedated and ventilated for 11 days and didn't know where the heck he was for several days after regaining consciousness, and when he was eventually moved to a normal ward, he had absolutely no memory whatsoever of being on ITU and I had to run through the whole saga of why he was in hospital and how he'd got there every day for about a fortnight before he got it straight in his head. Obviously it's a very different situation, but it might be the case that your father's confusion is partly down to this sort of phenomenon and will clear once he's well enough to be on a normal ward. I found the ITU staff absolutely brilliant, so I'm sure your dad is in excellent hands. You must be worried sick though :( I hope there's an improvement soon.

spiderlight · 04/04/2011 21:48

Sorry, I've just realised that I mis-read your post and your dad isn't in ITU so the above might not be relevant.

georgie22 · 04/04/2011 21:48

Can't understand why the ward are being so regimented with their visiting policy. In my experience it's much easier to have a calming family member with a confused patient - we often asked people to come in during the night to sit with their relative. It often made a huge difference. It may be worth your stepmom speaking to a senior nurse on the ward about her concerns. Thinking of you at what's obviously a worrying time.

scottishmummy · 04/04/2011 22:02

so so sorry.speak to his team,ask for honest appraisal.but GI bugs can pass quickly,although i appreciate he is vulnerable and ill
do discuss his care options,what settings are they considering

MorticiaAddams · 05/04/2011 11:37

The fluids should help all the symptoms you described.

Regarding the visiting, is he on a ward or in a side room. If he's infectious they have probably put him in a side room but it could also be that his white cells are low if he's had chemotherapy and would be more at risk from more infection. If he's having treatment for cancer then they would probably have taken bloods straight away and checked for this.

Original poster

bibbitybobbityhat · 05/04/2011 13:59

Am v comforted by this thread - thank you.

Stepmum spent the afternoon with him yesterday. He was well enough to know that he keeps "going off with the fairies" as he put it. At one point he thought there was a red Indian complete with feathery headress in the room delivering a pizza .

But dsm had a call from his MacMillan nurse today - she saw him this morning and said he knows exactly where he is and exactly who she was and has promised not to try and get out of bed again.

Still no word from the lab on whether there is an infection/virus but all the nursing staff, the Reg and the Macmillan nurse seem to be suggesting its the most likely thing. Hence why he's still in a side ward.

Can only keep hoping he'll get through. We are all so very much hoping that he can have a summer at home with his family and in his beloved garden. The nurses are telling him that he can, and his oncologist seems to think he can, providing he can get through whatever is wrong with him right at the moment.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2011 22:45

Glad to hear that bb :)

Imnotaslimjim · 06/04/2011 13:59

Glad to hear he is much more lucind Bibbity, that must be a great relief to you. May he go from strength to strength

Original poster

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/04/2011 16:16

Thanks.

He is having a blood transfusion today. No idea why! Everything gets relayed to me third hand and I think some bits of information are lost in translation. Can't wait to see him.

OP posts:

spiderlight · 06/04/2011 23:16

I'm glad he's more lucid. Hopefully this is the start of a steady improvement.

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