What made chemo/cancer treatments bearable for you?

[makedoandmend]

My oldest friend has ovarian cancer and has just finished her first round of chemo. I only found out last night as she's been putting off telling her friends which I totally understand - she has enough to deal with without other people's reactions. I'm still reeling a bit from the news and can't think how to help - am feeling clueless and useless.

She's not up to talking at the mo so I know very few details and she lives hundreds of miles away. She'll be surrounded by family (she has dh and 2 dc plus dh's family and I would guess her own mum and dad will be there) and local friends so I think she'll be ok for practical help.

Can I ask any of you who have been through similar what helped you? Is there anything nice I can send her? Or are there any words of wisdom that helped you? Or maybe a visualisation you've used (my mum used to think of her cancer of a field of rotten wheat and the radiotherapy as a flame thrower).

Just as a bit of background to her character - I would imagine she is dealing with the entire process with stoic black humour as well as healthy cynicism so I would think that she is more prone to be moved by that than self help books if that helps. Oh and she's 43 if that makes any difference.

I found audiobooks great for my bad days, so I could just lie with my eyes closed and listen.

Nice hand cream/body moisturizer is a treat - your skin gets very dry.

I kept all the cards and letters from friends and family stuck to my mirror - so I could see them all the time and know people were rooting for me (so even just a card or letter can be a really great thing to get)

I also used to wear very soft silky or cotton vest tops which were gentle on the skin.

I got threw a lot of books while I was actually sitting having the chemo too, - things that are light in weight, and light on the brain are good IME. One of my Dh's colleague's filled a bag with books from her shelf for me to read which was great.

A dark sense of humour will stand her in good stead, and I like your mum's visualization of the rotten wheat field - I may pinch that one .

I also used those relaxation CD's (and some guided meditation ones) to help me sleep and relax. (Not everyone's cup of tea I know but just thought I'd mention).

I know some people who liked to keep a journal of the whole experience it was not for me, but I did get a nice notebook to note down poems, sayings, inspiring stuff etc. that I liked, and also to keep a note of my recovery (I.e I'd note how far I managed to walk, or what I was able to do - and i let me see how far I had come from when I was at my most ill to when I was recovering. (Again maybe not for everyone, but it helped me)

HTH

Wishing her all the best in for her treatment and recovery

Oh some lovely ideas thanks KurriKurri - I wouldn't have thought of so many of them. I may put her together a little parcel with a nice pair of pyjamas and some creams and cds etc.

How are you now?

What helped me? White Company cashmere bedsocks, Neal's Yard melissa hand cream, extensive radio 4 (mind you, that helps pretty much everything in my book) expensive chocolate and (lightly salted) tortilla chips. Two years later I am still two stone overweight (oops) so maybe the latter two are not such a good plan.

I am doing OK thank you makedoandmend, I'm nearly three years from DX now so have come through the chemo and radiotherapy- I'm at the getting back to normal stage

Nice PJ's - is a lovely idea- you do sometimes spend days in bed and a good supply of fresh PJ's is just the thing

my mum used a strong smelling body cream - knowing by estee, but it was to get rid of the smell of hospitals in her skin and up her nose, it worked.

My mum and mil both swear by the lovely PJs. Short sleeved for easy drip access during hospital stays, and button up the front as there may be meds delivered by a tube in her chest. And either super fine cotton or silk.

My friend who had cervical cancer at a slightly younger age put together a wishlist on Amazon so that friends could buy her things she would enjoy. Now that Amazon is so diverse, it could encompass everyone's suggestions but in those days it was more about DVDs and books she could find entertaining and diverting, without being too much to deal with. iTunes also a great option nowadays - or maybe a Kindle token? Audio books are really a bonus.

My friend found a lot of support from the Jo's Trust website - and still does. I assume there must be a similar organisation for ovarian cancer. FWIW, my key ring is the ovarian cancer charity teapot - I have two family members who have suffered with the disease and I wish your friend all the very best.

Thanks everyone - there are some great suggestions. And I love the idea of her making a list on Amazon (although she'll probably poo poo it as fussing so her friends may have to take things into our own hands!)

ThingOne -Am in Brighton on Friday so will nip into The White Company to add socks to the parcel

KurriKurri- glad things are getting back to normal for you