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Original poster

So worried DH got large growth in pancreas & needs major op

20 replies

peacenow · 26/03/2011 18:16

After 6 months of investigations Dh just found out he has large growth in pancreas which is thought to be cancerous. He has to go into hosp as soon as to get it removed & have surgery to reconstruct his digestive tract. he'll be in hosp at least 2 weeks then it'll be at least 3 months to fully recover. Am going out my mind with worry & stupidly have been googling his condition & op & have the prognosis for fully removing the cancer is only 40% successful, also they say 19 in 20 people survive the op - just what kind of crazy stat is that?
He is v.worried himself so I must keep strong for him & our 3 young dd's. Inside I'm crying & cannot sleep at night, just feel so sick.
How do I deal with this?

OP posts:
UndiscoveredApprentice · 26/03/2011 18:24

Oh honey, poor you. You must be terrifed.

First of all try not to google (I know I know it is nearly impossible not to).

if you do think were 40 per cent successful is not as scary a statistic as it might be, he could well be one of those 40 in every hundred. And 19 out of 20 for the op sounds very high given it must be a big op.

Take things in little steps. Concentrate on getting through today, not tomorrow. Try to put it out of your mind as much as you can - crazily hard, I know.

DH was diagnosed with a very bad heart condition, at th beginning we were petrified. However, a few years down the line of living with it it has become the forgettable norm, I would never have imagination that could happen.

Best of luck to you and your DH.

Original poster
peacenow · 26/03/2011 21:11

Thank u UA your reply has made me try to break down the seriousness of this, so glad your dh doin ok x

OP posts:
napoleona · 26/03/2011 23:09

Hi, I'm sorry to read your post, you must be so worried. I don't have much of use to say, except that my ds has had pancreatitis a couple of times, and I found a website with a forum that really helped, its the pancreatitis supporters network, Google it, I'm pretty surethey will be helpful to you, they are very knowledgeable, best wishes x

Original poster
peacenow · 27/03/2011 12:31

Thanku Napoleona I'll google that now! x

OP posts:
25goingon95 · 27/03/2011 13:47

Hi, my dad had pancreatic cancer. He had the big op to remove it but unfortunately it was not successful for him because his tumour was attached to the main artery. Is the growth in the head or tail of the pancreas? Has he had any symptoms? My Dad's was in the head which was lucky apparently as it was pressing on a bile duct which made my dad jaundiced very early on and so they found it sooner. But i think if it is in the tail it is easier to remove? Can't remember what they said to us now, it was 5 years ago.

You must be terrified, i know we were too. I really feel for you, it is such a stressful time. They gave us all the scary statistics. We were beside ourselves with worry.
Your poor DH must be terrified too. I don't know how you deal with it, just take one day at a time and try to stay positive. I of course know that this is easier said than done!!! Your DH could well be one of the lucky ones!! Keep that in mind!

DO.NOT.GOOGLE. I did too and it just made things worse. Just try to hang on in there until the doctors speak to you and tell you what is what for your DH. Keep posting if it helps, it is such a scary time i know.

I will be thinking of you and your family and praying your DH can get rid of this and get well soon x

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 27/03/2011 14:06

I'm really sorry to hear your news. You must both be really shocked & scared :(

Try your best not to google - it doesn't do you any good.

You asked how you should deal with this... my advice (for all it's worth x)...

Try to spend as much time together as you can and with friends/family if DH is up to it. Talk. Remember all of the really good times you have had, laugh about some of the stupid arguements you have had and tell each other how much you love one another.... say anything and everything you think is important. Do the things you love to do if he's up to it.

Get all of the horrible, practical, hurtful things sorted out as soon as you can (your wills if you don't have them in place), sort out anything that is in DH's name alone, discuss what he would want if he died (funeral, for you for the future, practical things etc). Ask him to write some letters for the DC, take lots of family photos etc It is scary & horrible to deal with - but you will both feel better for doing it and once you have you can put it behind you and focus on life one day at a time. Of course, the chances are you wont need any of those things - but it's a load off of both of your minds to have it sorted.

Once you have done that, focus on the fact that they can deal with it now they know what is wrong. Someone sadly has to be the 20th person who doesn't make it through the operation - but it is far more likely to be someone who is compromised in other ways - be that other health issues or old age.

Keep posting x

follyfoot · 27/03/2011 17:52

I'm not sure how helpful planning a funeral, writing letters and planning a future without him would be right now and am a bit surprised its being suggested at a point when the outcome is far from clear....

Am so sorry you are struggling with this diagnosis. All I can say is try to take each day and each step of this scary journey a bit at a time. Whatever the outcome (and hopefully it will be a good one but the reality is no-one can tell you yet) try not to look too far ahead. Face what there is to face, rather than what there might be to face. Easy to say I know, but where you are now, there are going to be many unpredictable ups and downs to come. You take care and lean on friends and family x

25goingon95 · 27/03/2011 20:50

Hope you are ok OP.

At the moment you just need to get though these early days where you don't know what is going on. Agree with trying not to look too far ahead. Don't think you need to be writing letters and planning funerals just yet.

Thinking of you, keep posting x

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 27/03/2011 21:42

Follyfoot - if you haven't been through it yourself then maybe you don't understand the value in it. However, in my experience it helped a lot to have these things sorted and not have to worry about them as well. 1 in 20 people don't make it through the surgery - it's a bit late then to do these things and it is a complete nightmare for the people left behind if you don't have a will. You can't go back in time & write letters, take photos.

It is up to Peacenow what advice she takes and what she leaves.

25goingon95 · 27/03/2011 21:54

I agree with making a will before the op, but i remember well what it was like to be facing that operation for my dad, and doing all the other stuff like family get togethers etc was just too much, the stress before the operation was too great, we all just sat around waiting for it to be over. My Dad wasn't up to doing any of it or thinking about the fact that he may be dying. I remember asking him if he would write a letter to give to my then 6 month old DD and it just upset him more so we left it.

If your DH is otherwise fit and heathy OP, he will get through that operation. My Dad was 64, overweight, a smoker, and he made it through.

How are you feeling tonight OP?

SoupDragon · 27/03/2011 21:57

I can only offer the positive story of my FIL. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 5.5 years ago. Major operation in which they removed the pancreas and some of the digestive tract and he made a full recovery. There can be positive outcomes.

X

25goingon95 · 27/03/2011 21:59

Oh how fantastic soupdragon, thanks for sharing a positive story! Im sure the OP will be greatful!

I too am very pleased your FIL made a full recovery :)

follyfoot · 27/03/2011 22:12

Been through it with Sister in Law, my two best friends and my father Chipping.

So pleased for your FIL SoupDragon, thats wonderful news Smile

25goingon95 · 28/03/2011 20:29

Still thinking of you OP x

Kandinsky · 28/03/2011 20:40

I am so sorry Peacenow. The problem with statistics is that age is not factored in so try not to look too much at them. Presumably your DH has youth on his side.

Big hug from me.

lilyliz · 28/03/2011 21:29

thinking of you both now.My DH had this caught early and had a whipple op,which is what you are talking about I suppose he was great afterwards and got over the op no bother then had follow up chemo for 6 months.Do not google and just go with the doctors opinions,try to stay upbeat(I know,easier said than done) wishing you both all the best.

Original poster
peacenow · 29/03/2011 20:54

Hi every-one , many thanks for all your posts, still struggling to come to terms with it all, just waiting for a date for him to go in x

OP posts:
Celibin · 03/04/2011 19:25

We went through it with an 83 year old relative We were told at the outset that it was terminal and they even told us how long( not at local hospital but at the specilaist unit in Royal Marsden wonderful place). Several biopsies but it was too late for treatment At least yours in having surgery which gives us hope for you We will think of you and send you our very best wishes

Celibin · 03/04/2011 19:30

I would like to know how you get on with your permission of course as you may not want to but if you do please let us know how things go , we are ready to listen

Celibin · 03/04/2011 19:33

Pancreitis is not the same as cancer of the Pancreas

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