PLease slap me around the head and tell me I'm an idiot

[shouldnthavegoogled]

Have namechanged for this as I really am a remarkable idiot, and as a result an absolute wreck.

Have been feeling rubbish for a few weeks now - terribly exhausted, shaky hands, sweats, night sweats, feeling really really run down....
I have lost a lot of weight, but put that down to breastfeeding. I had what seemed to be flu for the last 2 weeks - chesty cough that's cleared up now. Plus my boys had it too, so I know that's just a bug. I have enlarged glands in my neck beside my jaw. So much so that doc thought it could be glandular fever.

Huge thyroid history in family so went to the doc to get it all checked last Thursday. Phoned for the blood results yesterday and my alkaline phosphates are raised. I have to have a repeat test in 2 weeks.

Stupidly stupidly googled and guess what came up amongst thyroid issues - Hodgekins.
So I go on the cancer research website which has factsheets about it and read through - I have a lot of these symptoms.

I'm at breaking point - I am so so tired, on my own all day with 2 boys and am so close to tears right now. I want to phone dh and cry down the phone all my fears, but don't feel I can - his mum died of a similar disease when he was 18. I don't want to put him through the worry.
I am really scared.
Can anyone either reassure me that I am being an idiot or tell me what I can do about my fears? Are they unfounded?

Anyone? Please, I would just like someone to talk to. Sitting here on my own and just feeling sick with worry. I feel ridiculous. And hysterical. And stupid. And so very upset.
Stupid!! Shouldn't be so upset, but I just feel as though something is very wrong :(

I know nothing about it I'm afraid but I didn't want to leave you on your own. Never google symptoms - I've 'had' cancer so many times from doing that.

If you are really concerned you should call your doctor and discuss it to put your mind at rest.

Bless you.

All I can say is the docs would have had you straight back if it had been something nasty. My Mum's friend's husband was fetched at 10pm at night by paramedics when his blood tests showed leukemia (and IIRC something similar happened on here to Lisa's husband)

Try not to worry.

Aww you poor thing.

Please try not to worry about Hodgekins.

My dad is battling with this at present and his blood test results were very abnormal and he was in hospital very quick after the results were back.

Do'nt have much advice, except that GOogle is the spawn of the devil when it comes to putting symptoms in.

When I was PG and DS was a big baby and I had excess water, my mother called everyday begging me to get private medical care "for the sake of my baby's life" because she'd been on bloody Google and thought DS had all manner of diseases from which he was going to die.

I can understand your concern, but the best thing you can do is impress upon your GP your need for all appropriate test to be done because of your fears.

Thanks both. [appreciative]

Oh I know I shouldn't have googled, but I can't resist it.
I am just terrified. I have seen what happens when things get left too late and I am so so scared.

I'm really worried if I call the doctor she will think I'm crazy. Also, I'm not even sure if they talk to you over the phone?

You are right though - if it was anything really terrible I would have been made to go back a lot sooner than 2 weeks, right?

Oh I've just been feeling so rubbish lately, feel like I'm at the end of my tether. I am so so tired. Last week I found it hard to face the day I was so tired - dh took the day off work in the end.
I had PND after ds and it's not like that at all, it's definitely a physical exhaustion.
God I hope it's e3asily explainable.
Oh for a crystal ball....

I don't think I can do this for 2 weeks!

Sorry I don't know anything about it either. But just googled myself and elevated alk phos can also be a sign of hyperthyroidism. And hyperthyroidism can also cause all of the other symptoms you mention.

Given the thyroid issues in your family and that you're postnatal with all the hormone havoc that wreaks I'd think that that was more likely than anything else. But I'm not a medical Dr and don't know...but with impassive googling then you can come to completely different conclusions.

TBH if it were me and I was as worried as you are (and I often get into myself into panics of worst case scenario so I know how beside yourself you must be feeling) then I would make an appt with your GP to go over your results - or get a phone consultation. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to provide some advice and reassurance rather than you stressing yourself out until the next results.

Symptoms of hyperthyroidism:

Symptoms
?Difficulty concentrating

?Fatigue

?Frequent bowel movements

?Goiter (visibly enlarged thyroid gland) or thyroid nodules

?Heat intolerance

?Increased appetite

?Increased sweating

?Irregular menstrual periods in women

?Nervousness

?Restlessness

?Weight loss (rarely, weight gain)

Other symptoms that can occur with this disease:

?Breast development in men

?Clammy skin

?Diarrhea

?Hair loss

?Hand tremor

?Weakness

?High blood pressure

?Itching - overall

?Lack of menstrual periods in women

?Nausea and vomiting

?Pounding, rapid, or irregular pulse

?Protruding eyes (exophthalmos)

?Rapid, forceful, or irregular heartbeat (palpitations)

?Skin blushing or flushing

?Sleeping difficulty

Sorry that your dad is having to go through that cadburysgirl. I hope he is doing well? Biggest and best wishes to you and your family.

Oh I am ridiculous for worrying. I worry ALL THE TIME over some pretty daft things.
The Hodgekins thing is a biggie though - dh and I are always on the lookout as his mum died really young from it. She was diagnosed after she found a huge protruding lump and had less than a year. It was horrible. She had 6 young children. n She was such a lovely lady and their whole family fell apart after it happened - 8 years on and they are still coming to terms with it. The impact was devastating.
DH is quite a lumpy guy (lol) and his lymph glands are always huge and he has them checked frequently but the fear is always there. I think now that we have 2 young boys we are just more aware.

This, I know, does not excuse my ridiculous worrying.
Thanks so much for your empathy everyone - I was thoroughly (and quite rightly) expecting a kick up the arse.

Oh god I hope it's just my thyroid. It's the sweating that gets me the most. Yuck!

he is doing ok thank you, he is in remission after having it twice.

i get nite sweating sometimes and it makes me worry bout having hodgekins to!

shouldnthavegoogled - ring GP's surgery and ask to speak to the practice manager. Explain that you are feeling incredibly anxious and would appreciate your GP ringing you to put your mind at rest. Don't be embarrassed, they are used to loonies like you and me anxious patients and it's part of their job to offer advice and reassurance. They might offer you some tranquilizers to help you in the short term.

Oh and have a hug.

SHG, Please don't worry about Hodgkins. I had it about 25 years ago, and since I'm posting on a Mumsnet Board and not a ouija board I'm still very much around.

Firstly, its highly unlikely you have Hodgkins. There's a particular look /feel to the lymph glands when you have it, and if the GP isn't sending you off for a biopsy pretty pronto, in their opinion you most likely don't have hodgkiny (?) glands.

Secondly, as a good mate who's a doctor told me, for any symptom of anything its more likely to be an unusual symptom of a common problem, than a common symptom of an unusual problem.

Thirdly, even in the remotest chance it is Hodgkins, when I had it the 'cure' rate was about 90%. If you are going to get something like this, Hodgkins is about the best to get, as the cure rate is so high (and its improved in the last 25 years!) I'm really sorry to hear about your MIL, but (and I don't want to sound flippant here) it looks like she was one of the really unlucky ones.

cadburysgirl, I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but good to hear that he's in remission. If it's any help to you, when I had it myself I thought that the effects were far worse on my loved ones. All I had to do was concentrate on the treatment - they were the ones who worried!

Thanks everyone for being so nice - you have really put my mind at ease a bit more.
Careless dad THANK YOU :)
Glad to hear all is good with you now.
Going to write your friend's saying down and try to remember it for future absolute panics worries which I am bound to have because I am ridiculous!!

Hi SHG - hope you are ok. I had glandular fever a few years ago and my gland swell up at the drop of a hat, so just to say glands can pop up for lots of reasons. Take care.

Careless dad - i love your second point - i MUST remember that next time i'm freaking out!

It does tick the thyroid box big time. I have hypothyroid but have family with hyerthyroid.

Both make you super anxious too! x

In the meantime, do you have a friend or relative who can come and be with you during the day so that you can rest and collect yourself? This is when you need a friend. You are clearly exhausted and it is impossibly hard dragging yourself around after small children when you feel like that. Please don't suffer alone if you don't have to.

Good luck.

I have clamed down a bit and am feeling a little more reassured. My glands still feel enlarged but they aren't noticeable so maybe it is a wee infection? My son is 5 months old too - so I am hoping byond hope it's just something like post-partum thyroid problems rather than a long term thing.
Feel pretty good today - been on the Berrocca to pick me up a bit and friends have been great coming to help me with my two boys (2.5 and 5 months).
Even felt well enough to go on my driving lesson last night, so that's a good sign, right?
Did spend all day yesterday feeling terrible though. I just wanted to nap and my youngest was crying from teething pain. It just all feels relentless at times. However, I am hoping to do my Zumba class tonight. Think I should give it a go and get some happy hormones on the go at least!