how long to feel sh*t after c-section?

[Moomin]

I had my 2nd elective c-section on 10th Oct. With the 1st I wad given co-codemol as pain relief when I left hospital and I remember being able to do most things in reason within 3-4 weeks. I was definitely up and about by the end of the 2nd week, and then having sex at end of 3rd, driving by 4th, etc.

This time it seems to be taking AGES to feel any benefits at all. I was given voltrol and paracteomol when I left hospital and felt shit, so I switched to co-codemol at the beginning of this week. Up until Monday (1 week post c-s) I was still in bed and couldn't use stairs; I came downstairs for the 1st time on Monday and have been able to do this every day, just sitting or lying on the sofa and doing little else. I walked to dd1's school gates on Weds (5 mins walk) and thought my insides were dropping out of my scar by the time I got there and it took me ages to walk back, in agony (which eased as soon as I was lying down again). Had a day of rest yesterday then went to homebase today. Was only on my feet for 10 mins and thought I was going to pass out with the pain so had to come home.

I haven't got any infection at all, so the midwives tell me; they don't seem overly concerned. I did have quite extensive bruising which has eased but the site of the scar is REALLY painful when I walk - the best way to describe it is like it feels open with salt in it (It's not, I've checked!) I vaguely remember having similar pains with the 1st c-s when I overdid it once or twice but this is much more constant.

Can someone tell me I'm normal and give me an idea when they felt back to normal? Dh has only got one more week of pat. leave and I'm starting to panic about coping on my own.

Moomin, take it very, very easy. I also took much longer to recover from the second one than from the first, and I did end up getting an infection in about the fifth week, I think, partly because I felt entitled to do more than I could because I could do first time round, and so sort of felt that I should be able to. Do remember this is the second big operation in that area, and you need to be much more careful than you were last time. It's unfortunate that of course with the second one, you're older and you have your first child to look after, plus people don't make quite such a fuss of you as they do for the first one, because they think you're an old hand - but for a second caesarean, I think some people need more physical help than for the first one. Do you have any friend or relative who could come and help you out so that you can take the rest you need when your dh goes back to work?

You're so right about the 'feeling entitled' business. I had a crappy pregnancy with SPD then placenta praevia which meant I have been immobile for the best part of 4 months already and 2 weeks in hospital before dd2 was born, so all I was doing was fantasising about the things I'd be doing once she was born, without really considering a longer recovery period post-birth.
I guess I'm also feeling frustrated that dh has all this time off and we can't do nice things as a family together, which is silly really as it's not a holiday, but you know...

I just wanted to hear that I'm not being pathetic and feeble from someone who's been there too. Dh has been telling me to take it easy and not be hard on myself but I need confirmation from a fellow-sufferer, iykwim! Thanks x

Moomin, I can't really remember if my second was worse than my first, and I don't think that I took any painkillers once I had left hospital with either past the first few days. But I know I have a high pain threshold, and also I am quite lazy, so I am sure I took it easy! I definitely didn't have sex for months, and you are not actually allowed to drive for six weeks. One thing to remember is that second c-sections are more complex operations than first ones, because of the scar tissue, so that means that probably there is more healing to go on in there. The two weeks when your dh is there are for you to rest, so get in as much as you can. It is much harder second time to make yourself take it easy, because of all the reasons cited by Caligula, and I would second getting as much help as you can with school runs etc. Remember that last time you probably spent most of the first weeks sitting or lying with the baby - you may find that if you look back that although you may have been up and about by the end of the second week, actually before that you did very little.

My DH had his appendix out and was signed of work for 6 weeks, he only felt a wee bit ill for 2 days before. He was to do nothing for weeks and to take it easy for the rest of the time.

FGS after carrying a baby for 9mths, 48hr labour and a emergency section, I was expected to care for a baby 24/7, lifting and carrying baby and equipment, night feeds etc.

Take as long as it takes and don't put on a brave face, say exactly how you feel and take all offers of help, remember you have had major surgery. I was walking about pushing the pram and totaly overdid it. Your abdomen muscle do so much, they need time to heal and knit.

If men had to give birth they would get maternity nannies on the NHS for at least 6mths .

Moomin, definitely go easy on yourself! Your recovery sounds a lot like mine. I remember the stairs were almost impossible at first. I was able to take ds for a little walk at about 3 weeks I think but then overdid it and was completely exhausted afterwards. I remember my mother came for the first 3 weeks and I did as little as possible the entire time! I had the monitor with me upstairs - and baby in the room with me - and would just pick it up and announce what I needed

Moomin, I took much longer to recover physically from my second c-s ... which was annoying because with my first I was physically well (no pain killers after day 5 etc) but a mental wreck but after DD I was mentally raring to go but physically incapable!
I remember walking DS to Kindy 3 weeks after DD was born and what was normally a 10 minute walk took me 40! I shuffled home in tears of pain and had to lie down for an hour and ask someone to bring DS home again for me.
I was on pain killers for a month and still had painful twinges in my scar until DD was at least 3 months old.
I agree with nooka about the second c-s being more complex than the first and that you are physically more tired anyway and your muscles just ain't what they used to be!
Try to take it really easy and keep having that scar checked just to be sure that there is no infection. Is it swollen at all? Not weeping or anything?

thanks for replies. no, not weeping or swollen, just sharp very sore pains that alternate on each side of scar. dh reminded me last night as well that we were told my scar is a bit bigger than most c-s scars as i've had plac praev twice and they had to make a bigger incision to make sure placenta didn't rupture and came out in one go. soz for typing - doing it one-fingered with baby in other arm.
guess will have to ask for help with school run - my neighbour is fab and did this when i was off my feet before dd2 was born. may also need help from mil maybe. just feeling very very frustrated!

It took longer for me to recover from my 2nd c-s. I did get 2 infections which I suspect prolonged the recovery. I think it was 12 weeks until I felt completely recovered. I wasn't able to carry bags or anything up until this point. I didn't mind too much about not lifting as I got out of helping with the shopping. It was a nuisance though as I had DD who was 3.

Go back and speak to the Dr, they is no harm in having the scar checked rather than suffering. Maybe they can recommend a stronger painkiller. I was taking ibuprofen (calprofen I think they might have been called) and they helped.

Moomin...congrats, by the way. Don't push yourself! As you know I am very healthy and fit. I was more or less bedridden for a good 6 weeks after my (emergency) cs. I went out once after 2 weeks. My mother drove me to the mall and we walked around for an hour. I was so exhausted and in pain that I went home and didn't get out of bed for 3 days. After that I just stayed at home, used the stairs as little as possible and gave my body a chance to heal.
Cs is a major operation that cuts all the muscles in your stomach. You must rest or you will do yourself some permanent damage. Don't forget you've just been pregnant for 9 months and presumably you are bfing too which is exhausting in itself. Please ask neighbor and/or mil to help you. Now is probably the time that you need that more than any other in your life.