TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

They are lovely pictures MAS

DS is definitely becoming a young man now isn't he? - what a handsome chap. Celeste looks very regal

I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, I got up for a while but have had to return to bed now. Feeling very fed up.

Also the surgery phoned to say they want to re-do my fasting blood tests - no reason given - luckily I'm too tired to worry about it the moment.

sorry for moany post.

I hope your mum is a bit better today - any news on whether she will be moved?

love to all xx

poor KK - it sounds rotten- try not to worry about fasting bloods- perhaps the samples clotted-this happened to my boy's once and he had to go back .
Thanks for nice comments about my photos- ds has dark hair on his upper lip now - am fascinated by it-he has very thick hair anyway and wonderful eyebrows (not inherited from me,alas) Dad and ds visiting this afternoon -will go tomorrow. No word about her move,doubt whether we'll hear anything until Monday.

I had to repeat bloods once too, Kurri. Was also a lab problem, so try not to fret. Hope you're feeling more energised soon. Was it food poisoning, or do you think you've picked up some sort of bug?

MAS, lovely pictures. Your son looks bright and kind and is handsome to boot. Nice to see a picture of Celeste and your mum and dad too. Is that your DH? He looks lovely if so. Must be frustrating for your mother not to know about the move. Nothing happens at weekends though, so Monday might bring good news.

Am supposed to be working. Ho hum...

Hola!

KK - sorry you're under the weather and hope you feel better soon.

LJ - no I didn't have the weekly thing for chemo. I had stuff at 3 week intervals, then starnage intervals which I now can't remember! But it was different drugs from you anyway!!

The holidays issue is tricky as you might feel like doing much in any case, and might be wise not to be over-ambitious. I definitely didn't want to do any more than have an occasional couple of days away as I just did 't feel up to it. FortunATELY MY CHILDREN ARE OLDRE, SO ONE WAS AWAY ANYWAY, AND THE OTHER (16) WAS OFF ON A 3 WEEK LONG SCHOOL TRIP. Oops sorry about caps. If you have any lovely relatives who could invite your's for a while I'd grab any such offers during school hols. And then if if you are up for short trips, you can arrnage them later, when you know how you are.

I didn't go for the cold cap at all as I had a feeling I wanted the chemo to have its best chance of working everywhere, including in my head. (not logical possibly but that was how I felt). And also, I felt that I'd be able to deal with the hair loss issue - it wasn't such a big deal for me as having cancer IYSWIM. I knew it was temporary, and it would grow back. Which it totally has. I know that for many women the hair loss is really difficult but for me it was relatively minor - though unpleasant at the time. I did invest in loads of varied head-gear to cheer up my look and that worked quite well.

I think the other point was that once, years ago, I'd had a cap put on my head to get highlights done and it hurt so much that I cried! So no way was I going to opt for that discomfort on top of everything else!

Spain was great - we went to Marbella, Granada, Ronda, Malaga and Gibraltar. The cave hotel was in a fascinating area where we got utterly lost and ended up having to reverse several hundred yards down an extremely narrow cobbled alley - DH driving fortunately! I love the Alhambra, and the boys got on really well. (we took a teenage frined with us as compnay for DS - this greatly helped keep him entertained)

I hadn't been to that area before - we won the week in an auction of promises or probably wouldn't have gone there- and I really liked the landscape and having so many interesting places to visit. There were 6 of us altogether which was fun. Heard some great flamenco too, in another cave in Granada. I feel I've made up for my restircted holidAYS LAST YEAR NOW- AS i'VE BEEN to Italy, Tenerife and Spain within the last 5 months since I finished treatement! I've definitely had better energy on each holiday. No money left now though, so have to get back to gardening as soon as weather perks up a bit.

aw thank you smee- yes that's my dh ! Am meant to be working but am so sleepy- had the strongest huge cup of coffee !

How lovely to have you back SR it all sounds great !!

Hola amigo and welcome back. Did you have lots of tapas and cerveza, SR?? Holiday sounds perfect. Have been mighty jealous of you all week.

Hola again - just have to apologise for my awful typing - am a bit tired after the journey. But have just been enjoying the photos with DH. If I knew how to put one on here I would! Are there instrucciones somewhere?

Yes we had some good meals. One incredibly cheap lot of tapas in a little local place in Granada (Albaicin area if anyone knows it ) - 2Euros for 5 different items in quantity. Best meal was a fairly posh restaurant in Ronda - had an extraordinary 'Ronda soup' which was more like a mix of bread and tomatoes with an egg on top (rather more filling than anticipated) followed by delicious tender venison with blackcurrant sauce - yum.

Also had a very nice relaxed hour in a Moroccan tea-shop also in Albaicin area. My DH speaks Arabic and I love mint tea and the boys tucked into the Arabic cakes so we were all happy...oh, yes I think I did have a couple of cakes too

Has anyone been to Puerto Banus - extraordinary place where the super-rich keep their liners leisure boats. My DS was totally amazed and said he had never relaised people had that sort of money. He and his friend enjoyed eyeing up all the cares too! As we couldn't afford any of those boats we went wild and had an ice-cream.

I mean cars not cares - sorry.

Hope Sparkle is feeling a bit better.

And anyone else who is feeling a bit flat - Spring will be here soon.

have heard of Puerto Banus love the sound of Arabic cakes and mint tea -yum ! Go to your profile page and there should be instructions on how to download...

Hope you are having a good rest Kurri, and are beginning to feel a bit better. What a pain that you will have to do the fasting again! I promise not to go on about C&W cake when you are fasting next time!

MAS your son is extremely handsome - good looking family all round, including the beautiful Celeste! I did particularly notice his striking straight eyebrows - gorgeous! Hope your mum is making good progress.

SR Welcome back! and thank you so much for plunging straight in with advice! Yes I am probably being a bit daft and wildly optimistic to think of going anywhere during chemo, but was hoping to manage at least a few days at some point, more for the boys' and DH's sakes than anything.

I loved Granada too - was there in 1989. I remember being amazed at sitting in the hot sun outside the Alhambra (so beautiful and atmospheric) and seeing snow on the mountain tops not far away! I am extremely of the tapas and particularly the venison with blackcurrant sauce - I LOVE venison, and still to this day savour the memory of a winter pub lunch I had whilst at college in about 1983/4 - venison with black cherries. It was so delicious I cannot forget it! Can't wait to see your pictures

Maybe DH and the boys will go on holiday without me in the summer, having set a precedent this week...they left for Ireland early this morning. DS2 was choking back the tears saying goodbye to me and even DS1, who normally doesn't give much away, said at bedtime last night that he wished I was going with them . This bastard disease has affected my boys already... Poor DS1 was sick on the ferry too, more that I wasn't there to look after him BUT, on a positive note (as is my wont) very good for DH to have to mop up the sick for once! evil Keep telling myself I have taken them to see MIL on my own before, why shouldn't he? But boy was I happy to get the call to say they had arrived safely

am sure dh and boys will have a lovely time in Ireland- but an awful wrench for you bless them.
Am so behind in my work that I may not be on here much - am getting in a panic...so much to do. Take care xx

Hope you are working and keeping panic at bay MAS.

LimeJ - you'll be fine and so will your family. Try to think that they maight indeed grow up/develop some sides of themselves they haven't drawn on before and end up the stronger for it.

I don't want to worry you too much - short breaks are really helpful during chemo as they give you targets and things to look forward to. Over the course of my treatment last year, DH and I had 3 w/es on the Welsh coast where SIL has a house on the sea, and another w/e in a luxurious hotel in the Lakes
which was lovely. I do think its helpful if you can stay with a friend or relation so that you can really relax.

I also found that I enjoyed very local surroundings much more than usual - as I wasn't working I had the time to enjoy the seasons, go for lots of short local walks, garden, cook, read and watch tons of DVDs! So although chemo has its horrid bits, you learn when these will be and you find there are plenty of times when you might feel under-par but you can still operate and do enjoyable things. In fact its hugely important to do enjoyable things.

Just a quick post again - your holiday sounds wonderful SR, I've never been to Spain but would love to go.

LJ - the summer holiday thing is hard - but I would play it by ear. No one can really predict how you will do on chemo - the drugs vary and people's reactions vary. You get to know when your good days will be, and so you can to some extent plan little outings and treats.

I'm still feeling rotten. Was very sick again last night, and have diarrhoea (Delightful) and can't eat anything (probably good for me!).
I'd planned that this weekend I would clean out my greenhouse ready for planting my seeds. So I'm in a grump as I wasn't able to. DH is treading very carefully - I am a bad patient

you poor lamb kk - horrible for you
Been to visit mum- have the name of the horrid nurse (a nurse-makes it worse than perhaps a care assistant) The lady opposite saw his name badge and wrote it down.
Am feeling very down again-just swamped by things and so tired. Will get on with some work and just try to get to grips with it. Love to all xxx

Blimey SR, what a very useful DH you have - speaking Arabic I mean. I've been to Puerto Banos. It is extraordinary. Seem to remember we had ice cream too.

Kurri, you're allowed to be in a grump. I would be too. Hope you wake feeling better tomorrow.

MAS, work panics are not so good. Are you a bit stuck by half term? I know I am, though am guessing your DS is far more independent by now. I wish you inspiration, nimble fingers and many, many biscuits..

LJ, must be horribly hard to have them all go off like that. SR says wise words I think about the boys gaining in some ways, though I'm sure they'll miss you too.

Thinking back, I managed a fair few treats last summer holidays with my son. I went camping (drugs must have addled my brain!) and even walked along Hadrian's Wall for a good few miles. Though my DH is a lecturer, so could take the summer off. Made things a lot easier for us. The others are right - you can't know how it will hit you, but once you start, you'll see a pattern and then can plan. It will all work somehow and I promise you'll have time for your boys amidst it all.

Here am working like a maniac. We're going to my mum and dad's tomorrow, and I have to deliver a project tomorrow too. Didn't exactly think that one through, now did I?!

good luck with your project smee- hope you get it finished and have a good time seeing your parents
Have done some work and now stopping for some wine and supper. Up early tomorrow to take car for it's MOT and service and possibly take ds to try on shoes

Good luck with the project Smee, and enjoy the trip to your parents.

I'm glad you got the name of nasty nurse MAS (well done to the lady for writing it down). Sorry you are feeling down - you've been going through a difficult time with your mum being in hospital. Take it easy - good luck with shoe shopping hopefully your DS has standard feet - not the terribly thin feet with one foot bigger than the other which made shoe shopping with DD a nightmare.

I am still lying in a heap. I tried to get up for a bit earlier but am too flaked out - it is some sort of virus I must have picked up - temp keeps going up and down (moan moan. whine, snivvle )

That sounds like a really nasty bug you have there Kurri - moan away! and no good to you by the sounds of it; can only offer maybe and wish for [bunch of flowers]

Sympathies also to MAS and Smee for having to work through the weekend - rotten. You may reward yourselves with a now - I see MAS has already! Glad the lady opposite your mum got the man's name - a nurse - and hope he gets his comeuppance.

Thank you all for your kind words re the boys being away. Have never had a problem with being on my own, but the house does feel very big and empty without them, and feel a bit at a loose end. Need to get shifting and get on with some things now I have all this time to myself and not tied to school/meals schedule!

Big news today - have driven again for the first time since 1st December! Had to get the RAC out - battery flat as a pancake - then, although very nervous, had to take the car for a good run. Managed 20 miles, half of it in the dark too: feeling very proud of myelf!

Smee - I love camping too . Didn't manage it at all last year Not sure if I will this year. One of my reasons for wanting a car was to take the boys camping by myself as DH not so keen or able to take much time off work.

What I was on about with the chemo and getting away was more really to do with being offered this weekly Taxol - am wondering if there will be time between doses to have enough 'good days' to go anywhere. Also of course, it means having 6 chemo days during the holidays, as opposed to 2 if having it 3-weekly. I realise this is something I need to discuss with the onc, as none of you have had this. DH thinks I should go for it anyway if it's better for me.

HI all - lots to catch up on. LJ - I'd say discuss with the onc what's best for you treatment-wise and then work around it. On a three-weekly regime I managed a few long weekends: if a weekly regime is better tolerated then you may well be able to do the same. Where there's a will there's a way. ANd as SR says - the effects of the disease on your kids won't be all bad either - things change sometimes in a good way. DH certainly felt his relationship with dd blossomed - it was good before, but he had to do more childcare type stuff, and it brought them closer (and even now I no longer have to do bedtime: he is more patient, apparently - so while he is watching her line up her teddies interminably, I can be pouring a wine and taking charge of the remote )

SR - welcome back. I am

sparkles, KK and MAS - I hope you are all feeling better. MAS, don't stress about your work, it will be fine. Beautiful photos. DS looks like he has a really fierce intelligence, and a gentle heart.

Smee - the work/half term balance is a sod, isn't it? Good luck!

Morning all.

Can I ask you a question? I've just opened my morning post and have a letter which is an appointment for an ECG at the cardiology unit on March 4th. Is it normal to have an ECG before commencing chemo? If so, that means I will have to wait yet another week before starting, which I'm not happy about. The other thought that went through my head was that maybe something showed up on the CTscan that they're not happy with and want to get checked out. No-one mentioned an ECG when I saw the consultant and nurse last week so I'm flummoxed. What do you think?

I had one, figgy.

In my case it was because my blood pressure was sky high in the oncologist's office. he said that was entirely to be expected given the stress of the situation, but he made me get it checked again by a nurse, and also said he wanted an ecg to be sure. Apparently chemo CAN (not always) affect the heart and they like to have a baseline reading so that, if problems emerge during treatment, they can take another and see if there has been any change as a result of chemo. I hope it helps you to know that I had no subsequent problems with my heart.

So sorry if it causes delay, but it is nothing to be worried about. It is pretty standard. ANd a week won't make any difference to the outcome, though I fully understand that, if you you have psyched yourself up for a start, it is mighty frustrating to be stalled again.

Thank you Cakesandale. I think I just had a bit of a panic when I opened it. I've spoken to the breast care nurse about it and she said exactly what you said. It's the delay that's really getting to me and the thought that it might be spreading around me while I'm waiting. The nurse said it wasn't but that's just the way I feel at the mo.

That's an understandable way to feel, Figgy This is a tough time, for sure. But cancer cells are not coursing through your system unchecked, try not to worry about that.

Owing to infections and various things it was about six weeks between my second op and chemo starting. I don't imagine that was a good thing, particularly, but it is not a bad thing to have a bit of a wait: your body has had a lot to put up with and needs to recover some strength so try to see it as a positive, if you can, or you'll drive yourself round the bend. It'll all come right.
x

Lost my first post - try again.

Still feeling pretty rough, so will keep it short.

Figgy - ECG is standard IME, I had one. They like to have a baseline reading, and a good picture of your general health before chemo starts so they know what is normal for you.
If its any comfort - I was DX june 2008, first op july, second op sept. chemo started in october - so four months. So try not to panic - your fears are natural - I felt exactly the same, but in reality a few weeks makes no difference. But I completely understand the 'just get on with it' feeling - I hope you don't have to wait too long

LJ there is a Breast Cancer Care leaflet on Taxol which might be of interest to you here

Sorry I can't be any help with your drug regime - I was on a clinical trial so mine was a bit odd anyway. But I'm sure if you are having it weekly they are confident you will be OK and hopefully have some good days.
I think drugs and regimes have changed even since I was DX 2and a half years ago - they are doing trials all the time fro what works best and for making chemo as tolerable as possible

love to all xx excuse typos

am sorry you're still feeling awful KK - do take care and get better soon.
Cakes- that was a very nice thing to say about my ds-thank you and encouragement about work...
Am collecting dad's laundry to dry,then taking Celeste to the vet as I've convinced myself she's not well (coughing a bit-spitting out her food) she seems happy enough-but I would rather she was checked. Then i hope I'll be collecting my car after it's MOT and service- i have a shiny new red version but apart from a quick detour to Sainsb. to buy something for lunch am not going to be driving it.(after my scraping of the wheel hubs on the never before driven courtesy car the last time)
Try not to fret LJ - am sure nothing bad is happening while you wait.