So, now I'm terrified..

[twojumpingbeans]

Hi

I have posted recently about a large Ovarian Cyst I have on my right ovary which has been uber painful for some time now, to the extent where I feel sick all the time and am taking constant painkillers, bleurgh.

I had an ultrasound, then there was some fuck up at the GPs where once they had given me the results they didn't send off the referral to the Gynae consultant for TWO WEEKS!! Aaargh, I swear that receptionist is my actual nemesis. Anyway, I finally had the appointment at the hospital on Tuesday and since then it has all gone bonkers..

The consultant was lovely but said that it was all 'too complex' for her to deal with and that she was very anxious that it gets sorted as soon as possible so she was referring me on to the Cancer clinic, which put the fear in me good and proper. I sort of felt like she must be talking to someone else I am only 31, don't smoke, am not overweight, eat healthily etc etc etc. I have a beautiful 3 year old DD who I can hardly bear to look at I love her so much.

I have had blood tests, a full MRI scan and am due to see the Oncologist on Monday and am quite frankly shitting myself. I know that nobody knows for sure yet whether or not I have cancer but it is so hard to cope with this. I feel like I just want to be round my DD, Mum and sister all the time and know that I am being a bit distant with DH but just don't feel that he 'gets it'.

Anyway, I'm not even sure why I am posting on here right now, I haven't googled Ovarian Cancer and nor will I until I absolutely have to. I just feel so frightened that I won't be here to see my wonderful DD grow up. Very very

Oh I'm so sorry that you are going through this. And it must be so stressful to have to wait until Monday.
BUT...
you know that the referral doesn't necessarily mean you DO have cancer, just that you are being investigated for it. Hold onto that, because it is true. There must be referrals all the time which turn out to be nothing/benign.

The good thing is that you are being looked at, at the right place.

You know all of that of course, it probably doesn't help me saying that. All I can say is keep not-googling, and the very very best of luck. xxxx

I'm sorry you are going through this, very best of luck xxxx

Sorry you are going through this.

I know that it is easy to say, and difficult to do but try not to think of the worst case. Do you have anyone you can talk to in RL?

Good luck for Monday.

You poor love.

Look, a referral is not a diagnosis....I think that until monday you need to do whatever makes you feel better...be around your family as much as you need and spend time with your dd.

Will be thinking of you on monday x

Ah love, I'd be terrified too...so I've done a teeny bit of googling for you. The fact that your consultant used the word 'complex' made me wonder if she thinks you have a 'complex cyst' and if so, google-the-overlord says basically they are NOT cancer but can become cancerous if left - they MUST be treated/removed, and that is best done by experts.

I hesitated to post this, since you're being so good and not googling (keep it up, btw) but this is a real possibility - and would make utter sense of the urgency/anxious-to-get-dealt with stuff, without it being a dire scenario or cancer at all, for that matter.

Hang in there (as if you have a choice) and post as often as you need till Monday. If you need hands to hold, they are here. xx

Thank you so much for being lovely! It really really helps somehow..

I am okay really, trying to get on with 'normal' things, I am lucky to have a really understanding boss who is encouraging me to work at home (code for drinking tea, mumsnetting and eating cake!)

I go from being totally fine to being a complete mess, just got to get through these next few days, I suppose all those crappy old cliches about taking things one day at a time and all the rest of it really come into their own at times like this.

I am really very lucky that I have a brilliant Mum and sister who I can talk to and an aunt around the corner and DH of course.. So, I feel really well loved and looked after which I am forever grateful for, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with something like this alone.

I know that you are all right about not thinking worse case scenario and most of the time I am really good at that ('think happy thoughts..') it is just occasionally I have a bit of a moment where everything gets overwhelming..

Anyway, thank you so much for your messages.. xx

Hurrah for the support and the being loved

You're doing great, by the sound of it. You're also bound to swing from one feeling/thought to another - because you don't yet have all the facts. The unknown is the hardest thing to deal with, IMO!

Aaawwww cant imagine how you must feel.

I had an internal examination yesterday, like you, i have been suffering with pains in my pelvis. The consultant said she could feel a swelling on my left side, and that i could possibly have a cyst. Im waiting for a phone call to be scanned and consultant has marked it down as being urgent. I am also crapping myself.

Why is it going to take so long for your blood results, i have had bloods back within a day before now, and i am expecting them back today, i only had them taken yesterday?? Consultant told me she would ring me today with the results??

Do not google Ovarian cancer! I read alot last night about cysts and wished i hadnt.
It been affecting my sleep, and the pains are there today. Reading about cysts last night made it worse!

Big hug to you as i understand a little of what your going through.

Wish i could do or say something that could take your pain and upset away.

I think some health professionals like to put the fear into you and can be quite insensitive at times.

Try to take it easy and build up your strength as you dont know for sure what the cyst is yet. Hope all the worrying will turn out to be nothing sinister and that it can be sorted quickly for you xxx

You are bound to think the worst...is human nature I think.

From what I can recall worrying signs would be;
loss of appetite
feeling really full after meals
back pain and
unexplained weight loss

Doesnt sound like you have experienced any of these?

My dsis had a "complex cyst" which did eventually neccessitate the removal of her ovaries and womb (hysterectomy) after she had had her dc.

x

BabyBorn - how lovely of you to post this when you are going through the same thing. I know just how it feels to have no sleep due to worry/pain. It is always so much worse at 3am isn't it?? Sending very big hugs back to you - sod it if it is UnMNetty - hugs help!! I truly hope that you are back to full strength soon..

To be honest, my time with the consultant is all a bit vague now, I am usually one of those people who asks a million questions - I wouldn't get in the MRI thingy without being shown round the department and asking 357 questions ('what's that noise? What does that do? Where will you be? How long will it last?' blah blah blah) I didn't even ask one question the other day. I have resolved to write everything down for Monday and ask the consultant to jot down answers too because it all feels as if it is going in one ear and out of the other at the moment.

If nothing else, I am truly amazed at how quickly everything is happening now. I had to wait one day(!!) for an MRI scan and was seen at 7.30am. Obviously there are good and bad sides to this..

Anyway, thank you millions to everyone, it is amazing how just talking it through helps xx

...at 3am...anything seems possible x

I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

I wish you lots of luck.

As another poster said, at least it is being dealt with and, fingers crossed, you will be one of people who is absolutely fine.

Have you had normal blood test then? This blood test usually only covers your blood count and kidney and liver. Did your blood count come back ok? I first had bloods done on the 1st of Feb at my GP and he said they were all normal and fine. He explained that it anything sinister was going on it would show in the blood count that something was wrong. The hospital have taken them again to check to see if there has been a change since the 1st of Feb. If your bloods came back ok then it might suggest that theres nothing too sinister is going on inside your body.

Have there been any suggestions to how the cyst could have appeared? Mine is possibly due to having the mirena coil for 1.5 years. I had it removed 4 weeks ago due to really bad side effects, but looking back i had painful intercourse quite frequently but put it down to being anxious about DH feeling or moving my coil.

I really hope everything goes well and you get some good news VERY soon.

I agree with OP that the pain of it is not knowing!

Your very young, so your chances or getting cancer is very slim. Unless youve had alot of serious problems in this department.

My gyne folder is HUGE, i am only 26, ive had 4 pregnancies including a ecptoic rupture, leaving me with only one tube, however, i am getting pain on my dud side, so i do hope my other side is ok as i would like to have one more child.

Im sure you will come back to update etc but im wishing you all the will and luck in world! xx

Oh and i know what you mean about the 3am wake! And the 12am, 1am and every hour after! Sigh!

I had a CA125 blood test (I think this is some sort of protein or something that is high if you have cancer, although, apparently does not mean that you definitely do)

I haven't had any gynae problems in the past, had a c-section with my daughter, clear smear test recently. This has all come out of nowhere really.

I feel so shattered that I think that is making everything worse, I went to work this afternoon for a few hours but came over all peculiar and pale because of the pain so am back at home again waiting for my DD to get picked up from Nursery, trying to plan lots of activities this weekend so I don't get too caught up in it all..

No doubt I'll be back on here when I'm having a wobble and if I'm not then I'll make sure I update after my appointment. Am really sorry to hear about all your history BabyBorn, can't imagine how stressful that must have all been.

I would love love love to have another baby but maybe the chances of that are pretty slim.. No point second guessing that I suppose ()

Thanks again for all the replies xxx

no exp/advice here i am afraid but just hand holding and best wishes x

Just seen this thread and wanted to wish you the best of luck tomorrow. x

twojumpingbeans I'm in the ovarian cyst waiting hell too . Was scanned end of Jan to find a 2.5cm cyst on the left ovary. Blood test due this Thursday. Another scan booked for early March. Periods are very off whack too. Normally 28 days like clockwork. Now more like 35/ 37 days.

Not had horrific pain recently but Christmas Eve was awful . Pain usually a dull ache all day everyday.

Best of luck tomorrow, keeping fingers crossed for you .

Good luck! Hope all is well and its a minor blip xx

Hi there

Hope everyone who posted on here is okay and thank you so much for your messages of support, you are a lovely bunch!!

I thought I had better update. I went for my appointment yesterday and thank goodness have been told that it is very very unlikely that I have cancer. My blood tests were okay and the MRI scan showed the cyst up and apparently it doesn't clearly show any 'sinister features'. Obviously, there are no guarantees but the relief is completely overwhelming. So much so that I shouted 'thank fuck' in the consultants office then knocked over my drink everywhere (I did apologise profusely). Am so very very posh.

I have to have a laproscopy next week to remove the cyst as it is pretty huge. However, I have also signed the consent form for a bigger operation to remove my ovary and fallopian tube as I have been told that it is quite likely that there will be complications. Quite frankly they can take the bloody lot if they want to!

Anyway, it was an utterly sobering experience attending cancer clinic. Just so grateful that the news wasn't bad.

XXx and one or two for all.

Thats fab news! Well done! Good luck for the op, im sure you will be fine.What a huge relief you must feel. Wow

I had to laugh when imagining the drink getting knocked over though! Ha ha ha ha ha.