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Is this mental health, special needs or just oddness?

27 replies

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:14

OK, namechanger so as to not prejudice what people say. Various professionals have offered ideas, but they are only interested in thier "bit", and I'm not sure what, if anything, to do. I'll not say what "labels" I have, and you can let me know what direction you would be looking in. If you recognise me, please don't say.

I took ages to crawl, was still struggling to do up buttons at the age of 8 or 9, learned to ride a bike (unsteadily) in high school, never really learned to swim. I had speech therapy for a lisp for years. Serveral time I was sent for hearing tests because I would become so engrossed in a task (or, tbh, just staring out of the window, thinking or doing what I have always thought of as having a bit of time off- my mind races a lot but I can sometimes turn it off completely and just drift a bit and it helps with stress).

As a baby I enjoyed being swaddled way past the usual age, and have always climbed into small spaces/got under a heavy duvet if things got too much. It is like I can't cope with too much movement, or things brushing against me.

I have always had problems with certain feelings - ie water on my face makes me go into a kind of fight or flight thing. I can act normal now, but am always looking for ways to avoid getting splashed - I know nobody likes rain, but nobody else seems to get panicked by it. I can't stand anyone being phyiscally close to me, unless it is on my terms- even if DH is behind me, I get nervouse and he has to walk in front, because I am nervous he will touch me without warning.

I'm getting a lot better as I get older, but I used to get really upset if things touched my kness or if anyone even mentioned touching my teeth or eyes. I went months without brushing my hair, and years without getting it cut.

I occaisionally "zone out" partially, by accident - like I spend a day not really taking in what is going on, and feeling "not right"- like I am looking at the world through glass. My memories of these days are always really hazy, but then I have an awful memory anyway.

All of the above has got better with age though- now these things only bother me if I am tired or upset.

Other things - I get obessesions. I am known for it in the family and with my friends. I kind of get all enthusiastic, spend all my money, stay up all night, get full of so much energy, and come up with endless ideas, every time I shut my eyes that things is there. It varies what it is- when I was little it would be an animal, then it started being bands or computer games, now it tends to be political things. The obsession lasts a few weeks, then I suddenly lose interest.

As I have got older, the obsessive periods have started coinciding with lots of drinking, attention seeking, bad and unsafe behaviour (sexual and other ways), not eating or sleeping, and so on. The last few years (since I had children) these periods have included hallucinations, although they seem to have gone now I have a more steady lifestyle. When I am in one of these stages I feel brilliant to start with, then it takes on a darker, more desperate edge.

I also have terrible down time, where I find it hard to do anything. I don't mean feeling a bit down - I mean feeling full of poison, always tired, headaches, like I am walking through mud. I have self harmed (although tbh the self harm was always more about the stuff from before- it works in the same way as being wrapped up tight- kind of focuses my senses) and attempted suicide in the past, and been hospitalised.

I have had several people say I am above average intelligence, and when I do get it together long enough to do exams, I am usually top of the class or whatever. This may be linked to the fact that I tend to drop out of things if I get a B as I lose interest, so I suppose by processes of elimination, if I get as far as the exam I will gat an A or a first or whatever.

Oh, and I am a bit hoardy. not as bad as I used to be, but I get very nervous chucking things out, because they might come in useful at some point, or the way we chuck them might not be right (they might blow out of the bin, they might make the bin break, an animal might climb in, etc). As a child, my pockets were full of wrappers, half eaten food and so on, now my handbag is sometimes like that but I have a clear out every now and again when I am having one of the energetic spealls so it is hardly ever an actual health hazrad. The house is pretty much ok, but DH helps a lot and I know I have to not keep too much because of the kids.

So- random collection of unrelated stuff, for which I should only seek treatment when I am a risk to myself or others (ie the depressive bits), something wider or am I just an odd person? OR, is everyone else like this and they just don't mention it?

OP posts:
namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:22

Oh, I still don't know all my times tables, but have always been able to do things like algebra etc really easailly. Was a very early and quick reader- it was always remarked upon how quickly I read, and I have always had a really wide vocabulary, if slightly old fashioned. I can remember words and things if I know the reasoning behind them - ie if I can see the root of the word, or why such a thing happened on that date. If it is just a bare fact I just don't retain it- eg I have no hope of remembering an acronym unless I know what it stands for (and what that means), then I will remember it really well. Other people just don't seem to even want to know these things, never mind need them.

OP posts:
belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:24

Have yo looked into Dyspraxia?

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:28

If it's ok, I'll leave it a few posts till I say what has gone on with official diagnosis, just so that doesn't skew it. Would Dyspraxia explain the stuff I have said, would you think?

(Am in the middle of sorting stuff out with another professional, and they have mentioned that they think I might have the wrong "labels", but keep asking me what I think, but obvioulsy I have had a lifetime of tyhinking I am such-a-thing, so I dunno...)

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LIZS · 09/02/2011 14:30

I'd suggest dyspraxia and/or aspergers. It sounds like a SpLD rather than mh

belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:31

You sound like my son to be honest. Dyspraxia explains most of your quirks. Everyone's different though, I can't stand to be around people sometimes but this doesn't make me antisocial/aspergers/autistic.

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:31

Would even the hallucinations come under that?

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belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:33

What sort of hallucinations? Migraines can give the feeling of treading through mud/flashing lights etc.

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:35

The voice of God telling me that I had special powers, men chasing me, ants all over the baby, hearing other people's thoughts that they were plotting against me, that kind of thing.

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namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:39

The hallucinations have led to me being sectioned in the past, but like I say, have only really affected me for a relatively short period of time. (Unless you count getting "visions" of all the family dying in car accidents, or "reading people's thoughts", or hearing ghosts - but every imaginative child does stuff like that I think)

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belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:40

This wouldn't come under dyspraxia, more of a mental health problem. There's nothing to say that you're not dyspraxic/autistic spectrum disorder also though.

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:43

Brill, this is all really helpful, thanks. Would dyspraxia explain the obsessive highs and the lows as well? Or at least partially?

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belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:43

as far as I am aware, mental illnesses, like manic depression/bipolar or schizophrenia come and go all the time. 1 in 4 people live with a mental illness, it's just a chemical imbalance.

lostinwales · 09/02/2011 14:45

You sound a lot like my son too! He has Dyspraxia/ASD and since his diagnosis I have realised that he is just a slightly more exaggerated version of me. I always felt a bit 'different' growing up and I know I can be very random in social situations. You made me grin when I read about your lack of success with times tables compared with your algebra/reading skills, especially the old fashioned vocabulary, you could be writing about DS1.

Did the period of hallucination come around a time you were drinking a lot/giving up drinking?

Littlefish · 09/02/2011 14:48

I don't think that dyspraxia would explain the obsessive highs and lows. That sounds more bi-polar/ASD

lostinwales · 09/02/2011 14:48

Also one of the things I have been told to look watch out for with DS1 is his mental health, especially as he heads into his teens. I don't think it is unusual for someone who feels a bit 'other' from their peers to have periods where they feel down.

belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:48

I took ages to crawl, was still struggling to do up buttons at the age of 8 or 9, learned to ride a bike (unsteadily) in high school, never really learned to swim. I had speech therapy for a lisp for years. sounds dyspraxic
Serveral time I was sent for hearing tests because I would become so engrossed in a task (or, tbh, just staring out of the window, thinking or doing what I have always thought of as having a bit of time off- my mind races a lot but I can sometimes turn it off completely and just drift a bit and it helps with stress). sounds dyspraxic

As a baby I enjoyed being swaddled way past the usual age, and have always climbed into small spaces/got under a heavy duvet if things got too much. It is like I can't cope with too much movement, or things brushing against me. sounds dyspraxic/sensory disorder

I have always had problems with certain feelings - ie water on my face makes me go into a kind of fight or flight thing. I can act normal now, but am always looking for ways to avoid getting splashed - I know nobody likes rain, but nobody else seems to get panicked by it. I can't stand anyone being phyiscally close to me, unless it is on my terms- even if DH is behind me, I get nervouse and he has to walk in front, because I am nervous he will touch me without warning. sounds dyspraxic/sensory disorder/autistic spectrum disorder

I'm getting a lot better as I get older, but I used to get really upset if things touched my kness or if anyone even mentioned touching my teeth or eyes. I went months without brushing my hair, and years without getting it cut. sounds dyspraxic/sensory disorder

I occaisionally "zone out" partially, by accident - like I spend a day not really taking in what is going on, and feeling "not right"- like I am looking at the world through glass. My memories of these days are always really hazy, but then I have an awful memory anyway. migraine???

All of the above has got better with age though- now these things only bother me if I am tired or upset.

Other things - I get obessesions. I am known for it in the family and with my friends. I kind of get all enthusiastic, spend all my money, stay up all night, get full of so much energy, and come up with endless ideas, every time I shut my eyes that things is there. It varies what it is- when I was little it would be an animal, then it started being bands or computer games, now it tends to be political things. The obsession lasts a few weeks, then I suddenly lose interest.

As I have got older, the obsessive periods have started coinciding with lots of drinking, attention seeking, bad and unsafe behaviour (sexual and other ways), not eating or sleeping, and so on. The last few years (since I had children) these periods have included hallucinations, although they seem to have gone now I have a more steady lifestyle. When I am in one of these stages I feel brilliant to start with, then it takes on a darker, more desperate edge.

I also have terrible down time, where I find it hard to do anything. I don't mean feeling a bit down - I mean feeling full of poison, always tired, headaches, like I am walking through mud. I have self harmed (although tbh the self harm was always more about the stuff from before- it works in the same way as being wrapped up tight- kind of focuses my senses) and attempted suicide in the past, and been hospitalised.

I have had several people say I am above average intelligence, and when I do get it together long enough to do exams, I am usually top of the class or whatever. This may be linked to the fact that I tend to drop out of things if I get a B as I lose interest, so I suppose by processes of elimination, if I get as far as the exam I will gat an A or a first or whatever.

Oh, and I am a bit hoardy. not as bad as I used to be, but I get very nervous chucking things out, because they might come in useful at some point, or the way we chuck them might not be right (they might blow out of the bin, they might make the bin break, an animal might climb in, etc). As a child, my pockets were full of wrappers, half eaten food and so on, now my handbag is sometimes like that but I have a clear out every now and again when I am having one of the energetic spealls so it is hardly ever an actual health hazrad. The house is pretty much ok, but DH helps a lot and I know I have to not keep too much because of the kids.
all of this sounds bi-polar, it depends what they say though as I'm no expert but they are

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 14:50

OK, I'll tell you what my "labels" are. As a young adult (ie after I left school) I was diagnosed with Dyslexia. I did ask about Dyspraxia at the time, but the lady said that it is just part of Dyslexia.

I have also been diagnosed with puerperal psychosis, but I don't think this is right, as the hallucinations only came on four months after my first babies birth, and I was well after my second until they were over a year old. However, both occured pretty quickly after I stopped breastfeeding, if that is linked at all.

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belledechocchipcookie · 09/02/2011 14:54

I wouldn't say dyslexia as this is a word recognisation problem. It can go hand in hand with dyspraxia though but it's not the same condition.

www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk

I don't know enough about mental health illnesses though but it sounds as though it's linked to the hormonal changes that go on post natally.

I have to go and do the school run. Best of luck Smile

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/02/2011 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 22:48

Bi polar has come back into question again lately. The puperal Psychosis one was a man who came round when I wasn't expecting him, spoke to me for about half an hour and looked at my notes. Any doctor who has spoken to me for a while seems to think bipolar, but they must have got that doctor to do the diagnosis for a reason, so I dunno.

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chipmonkey · 09/02/2011 22:48

I would agree with belle's summary except that ASD can also be linked to obsession.

There is also, I believe a link with ASD and schizophrenia, in that a child with ASD is at higher risk of developing schizophrenia.

The hoarding also sounds ASD to me.

The fact that you learned to read very early sounds to me like you are not dyslexic. However, the poor handwriting which is a feature of dyspraxia might give the appearance of dyslexia?

Do you think you would now benefit from being assessed for ASD/dyspraxia? It might not be of any practical help, having a diagnosis now but would it answer some of the questions in your head?

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/02/2011 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chipmonkey · 09/02/2011 22:57

Sorry, as shiney says, I meant to say that there is probably not one diagnosis that fits all your symptoms. Also dyspraxia and ASD are on a spectrum, rather than being 2 separate diagnoses, so there is a lot of overlap betweent the two. The hallucinations are not something that I would expect in either of those but could come about as a psychosis related to BPD, I would think? Not an expert on BPD at all but do work with children with SENS.

ragged · 09/02/2011 23:04

Has no one mentioned DAMP syndrome?

namechangerbutcurious · 09/02/2011 23:29

Would it make any difference to get a proper diagnosis of the earlier stuff (whether it is dyspraxia or whatever- tbh Aspergers has been mentioned but I always dismissed it, because I like talking to people - I spend hours and hours online talking to people - and I've always been good at drama and writing and so on. Quite a lot of the stuff that I have googled does ring true though, although maybe that just comes from being a bit more well read than a lot of the people I speak to- so it is hard to connect. I'm an excellent salesperson though, so I must be able to judge people well - it's just like drama or flirting essentially, you just behave like somebody who knows what they are talking about and people assume you do :) )

Just wondering if it is worth mentioning to the psychiratrist next time I see him (or the CPN? I see her a lot more often) as it could affect what drugs they want to give me.

I really really don't want to go back on drugs, especially as we are talking a period of several years at least on a few drugs (to conteract the effects of the others- they are talking mood stabiliser, anti psychotic, maybe an antidepressant (although they send me high as a kite)sleeping tablets and an occaisional tranquilliser, so it is heavy duty stuff) so anything that helps us get to the bottom of it all and maybe help with less drastic measures would be great.

Would also love to get back to work, but looks like full time normal work could be a long way off. :(

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