Cancer - not looking to good

[happyland]

All very recent news but just wondering whether anyone has any experience or at least more knowledge than me. Was a bit afraid of googling. My sister had a double mastectomy in September last year, followed by chemo, herceptin etc. Today she has been told she has cancer of the spine. My parents are on there way to the hospital. My sister has been told the news but I havent spoken to her yet. Its not looking good is it?..

I don't know Happyland. I'm really sorry.

I am so sorry. I don't know enough to offer real help I hope someone comes along soon who can offer more practical help and advice. In the meantime I am sending you support and all my thoughts.

Happyland - I'm really sorry to hear about your sister.

I only have family experience to go by, no medical knowledge, but I'd say no, it doesn't look good.

However, I very very strongly believe that where there is life, there is hope and having a positive attitude to conquering things like this can make a difference - even if it's only to the quality of life.

Hopefully your parents will be able to find out more this evening and let you know. Does she live close enough for you to go and visit her tomorrow?

Biggest hugs x

Thank you all. We do live close so we will visit tomorrow. I am not sure what else to write. I feel so sad, for her, and her 3 girls.

Hello happyland

like ChippingIn I only have family experience of this. Cancer is a difficult disease to treat once it has spread BUT the saying "it aint over til it's over" is very true as there have been so many advances in treatment. My beloved auntie who has recently died had cancer which had spread to her bone but which remained well under control for several years with a mixture of radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

My auntie always said that nobody would tell her she was dying or terminal and that only she would make that decision - this very positive frame of mind kept her going.

Happyland - I'm sorry your family are going through this - it is very hard.

I will be honest with you because you are aware this is not good news. A DX of secondary cancer is life limiting.
But it can be controlled with treatment, I have several friends who have had breast cancer secondaries diagnosed and are managing to have a decent quality of life, people can survive for a good time with secondaries. So don't give up hope.

MacMillan is a good organization for families dealing with cancer - they have help lines where you could chat to someone for support and have your questions answered, Breast Cancer Care is another very supportive organization - again they have helplines you can ring if you feel it would be useful.

Best wishes to you and your sister .

Happyland, I only have family experience of this too. I just wanted to say that my mum's bone cancer (secondary breast cancer) was kept under control for several years, and during this time, her quality of life was very good during this time.

Best wishes. x

I am sorry to hear about this; a lot about the prognosis depends on the type of cancer as initially diagnosed. There are loads of variations in how aggressive it is, basically. Was it a blood borne sort?

I know people who have survived very long term after secondaries, think of Lance Armstrong. Good luck.

Lance Armstrong is a very positive role model to think of. I am glad others have been better able to talk to you than I have. Good luck.

I am sorry about your sister. Cancer is such a scary word and secondary cancer even more so.

I'm afraid I have no advice but just want to post.

Happyland. . .i am so sorry to hear your news.
My dad is dying in hospital with heart failure, but not the same as your sister. . . .she is younger. My heart goes out to you. . .I have a sis and wouldnt want her to die . How old is she ? Where bouts are you ? and her?

Happyland, no point my saying it's good news, as obviously secondary cancer never is. Still though, there's lots they can do for Bone Cancer. In fact, I've heard of a fair few women who are still alive and feeling good 10 years after bone mets have been diagnosed.

Sounds like you've been through a lot if she was only diagnosed in September. Am guessing she can't have even finished her chemo/ treatment for her initial diagnosis yet - did they not do full scans when she was first diagnosed or something?! Poor her and poor you.

I"m so sorry, happyland, no cancer diagnosis is good news - especially secondary, as people have said.

I just wanted to post to mention a friend of mine who lived (and I mean lived - to the full!) for over ten years with bone cancer, secondary to breast cancer. If you have to have secondaries, its probably one of the best places to have them.

Wishing your sister well, xx

Thank you all. we hope to go and see her today. Maltesers I am sorry to hear your news too. We are in the Scottish Borders. she was in yesterday for her 'all clear' appt after 4 months of aggressive chemo, and they did a scan to check. Several blood clots showed up, plus the spine cancer. I am trying to find out exactly what type it is. It is good to hear that the 2ndary can be managed for some time - I think when I heard I assumed she would die very soon.

I am 30 and she is 40, her girls are 16, 21 and 23. I am not sure how her husband will cope alone. My sister has a degree of learning difficulties, very mild but she can be quite child like and I am frightened that she is frightened. Or that she isn't asking the right questions. I just want to help in some way.

Really hope she's feeling okay and able to deal with it all Happy. A brilliant site is www.breastcancercare.org.uk. There's lots of information on there, as well as forums which are free to use, and full of women who will be similar to your sister. It's free to use, and I'm sure you'll find answers to a lot of questions. Might help to read some threads with women who have bone secondaries.

Also, Macmillan are amazing. If you do have any questions and want to speak to someone, they have a free helpline and welcome calls from relatives.

Hope they can get her stable and give her her life back for a good long while to come.

Thanks for the support sites , I will take a look. More news today. She had another scan and it appears that there is cancer in her liver too. The docs have let her have a couple of days at home then back for chemo, herceptin and another drug but she can't remember the name. Spoke to her on the phone and is remarkably chipper. She is pretty committed Christian so I think that helps. I think I am more angry than she is.

Happyland,

I am so sorry about this news.

I have a friend whose breast cancer diagnosis came from having a swollen arm, which turned out to be related lymphodaema. So the cancer had spread before she even knew she had it. She had it in breast, bones and liver. I am telling you this because she had chemo which has reduced the cancers a lot and she is living a full life and working and very upbeat and fit.

So no-one can say this is good news for you and your sister, but she could have a good long time yet.

Thanks sandripples