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Really bad toilet problems

8 replies

sickandtired · 05/10/2005 09:22

My ds is really having some terrible problems with his poo. He is nearly 3 and toilet trained, however, he has been unwilling to poo on the toilet or potty and always asks for a nappy. I wasn't too concerned about this as I just thought he would grow out of it when he was ready.

Unfortunaly he became very constipated and when he did go (over a day and half later) it really really hurt him, even though I had given hom lactolous to soften it up. (sorry - lots of detail!)

He is now terrified of having a poo. He won't go in a nappy, he won't go on the toilet, he won't go on the potty, he just won't go

He holds on to it, crying all the time saying he needs a cuddle and has tummy ache, until he eventually either poos himself or does it in a warm bath.

I have persuaded him to sit on the toilet and we have read a book (but no poo ) and he is given a sticker for each time he will sit on it but this has been going on two weeks and I'm at my wits end. I have promised him treats if he will have a poo but still nothing. Its making a ussually very happy boy a shadow of himself. any advise would be appreciated

OP posts:
morningpaper · 05/10/2005 09:24

I would recommend asking your Doctor for a referral to the local hospital for a chat with the paed. We did this a while back and they said that most of their children of this age see them for constipation issues! They gave us loads of information and leaflets which were really useful, about diet and behaviour etc.

Alternatively ring up NHS direct and ask them to send you some information about young children and constipation - again, I've found them very useful for this sort of thing (although you will have to answer all the questions about 'Is he breathing?' first! )

yowlingmonster · 05/10/2005 09:27

I would up the lactulose so that it continues to soften and he can make some associations about it not hurting. Once he has realised it isnt going to hurt, ease back on the lactulose and encourage him do his poohs as you were before this started. Try to give him lots of praise and encouragement just for poohing to start with even if it is in his pants then once he is happy to pooh start steering the behaviour in the direction you want it to go, eg praise and rewards for telling you he needs to go before he does, then praise and rewards for going in nappy or on potty, then praise and rewards for going on the toilet. Hope things get better soon and that my advice is of some use.

sickandtired · 05/10/2005 10:00

thanks guys - its so hard not to get exasperated (sp!) with him, not about the poo, but cos he keeps crying about tummy ache and I know he will not have a tummy ache if he pooed!

I will update you if anything changes!

OP posts:
deegward · 05/10/2005 10:12

Lots of previous thread about this, so it is a common problem. Ds1 who is 5.5 is still having problems, although we seem to be on the way to solving them. We have been with the drs since he was2.5.

Please don't get stressed, and careful with the lactulose, it caused more problems than it solved in our case. It made it so that there was follow through (sorry too much information) if ds1 coughed, or farted. he then held on even more.

please seek advice sooner rather than later.

Take care, I have so been there so know what you are going through [hug]

sickandtired · 05/10/2005 10:26

thanks deegward - we were both sitting on the stairs crying yesterday. I feel so bad for him and its so upsetting.

I know its not funny, but when you said about following through the childish me smirked - Hope your ds continues to improve...

OP posts:
deegward · 05/10/2005 10:52

Try massaging his tummy, clockwise, and give him a foot massage. The hot baths did help, please do not let any one belittle how horrible this is.

Tell him he is such a brave boy, and you are proud of him no matter what.

sickandtired · 05/10/2005 11:17

Yesterday I was buying him a new quilt and quilt cover,while in the shop he said to me "i'm so sorry mummy" I said why darling and he said that he had pooed himself. This would ussually horrify him (he hates being dirty and has always insisted on a clean nappy even from a tiny baby!). I told him not to worry, took him out to the car, took his pants off and cleanded him up.

I had been telling him at home that I would think he was so brave and clever if he did his poo, so all the time I was sorting him out he was telling me how clever and brave he was - bless him!

OP posts:
WheelyGoodMum · 07/10/2005 14:38

Hi all

My 9 1/2 yr old is severely constapated - literally bolders are in her tummy! She has to have medicine but will not take it! It has to be disolved in juice or water - any tips on forcing her to have it?

Cheers

WheelyGoodMum

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