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Original poster

Snip or clip? - what are the pros and cons of his vs hers sterilisation?

48 replies

llandb · 30/12/2010 14:45

Right, defo never getting pregnant again, no matter what.

I want something very reliable, non-hormonal, and don't fancy the sound of the coil (I'm prone to heavy bleeds in other situations and don't want to risk it). So DP and I have agreed that one of us should get sterilised.

DP (male) has bravely offered to get the snip but I am the one who insists we are not having more kids (which DP is happy with). So I feel that, all else being equal, I should be the one who has the op.

Of course, all else is never equal!

I'm interested in hearing anyone's experiences of the pros and cons of male and female sterilisation (and to be honest, there seem to be lots of different variants of the female version so I'm hazy as to what would be involved).

Especially with regard to length of hospital stay, recovery, and impact (if any) on breastfeeding (do they give you drugs that mean you mustn't BF for a few days)?

Actually, I have very little idea as to what is involved, full stop. There needs to be a Mumsnet section on Family Planning, to go along with Conception, Pregnancy and Teens! :o

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 30/12/2010 14:47

Your DP should have the snip, much easier and safer.

Original poster
llandb · 30/12/2010 14:48

Oh and this isn't a knee-jerk response 'I've just been through that and never again' thing.

I've said we're stopping at two before we had any DCs and have maintained that stance all along! :)

OP posts:
ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 30/12/2010 14:51

DH had the snip. Didn't hurt me a bit Grin Tbh, DH made the decision to have a vasectomy. He reasoned that I'd been through enough in having our two children, and this was his bit. I am extremely grateful. He was in discomfort for approx 2 weeks (not the couple of days as the literature states) but has had no problems since.

Original poster
llandb · 30/12/2010 14:53

Sorry, X-posted, Puppy! I think you're probably right -but I feel guilty and also I have some idea that the snip doesn't always work (probably some urban myth)

What shocked me what that a hospital MW told me that female steriliasation is available on the NHS but the snip is not (at least in this area). Would think they would be keen to promote the easier and safer option by having it free on the NHS!

OP posts:
WildistheWind · 30/12/2010 14:53

Ditto on the Snip- DH had it done 3 years ago and was back to work the next day- He had bruising and tenderness for about 10 days.

5 days later he was ready to DTD again and in his case, it has enhanced his orgasms. It has made our sex life so much better and stressfree!

No idea about female op though- it just seems very invasive.

Original poster
llandb · 30/12/2010 14:53

:o chickens

OP posts:
WildistheWind · 30/12/2010 14:54

X-Posted llandb- DH had it done on the NHS

diddl · 30/12/2010 14:55

My husband had it done as it was the easier option for meGrin

ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 30/12/2010 14:56

DH had the snip on the NHS. Female sterilisation has a higher failure rate and carries more risks generally.

eviscerateyourmemory · 30/12/2010 15:00

There is a mumsnet section of family planning. Grin

family planning

PuppyMonkey · 30/12/2010 15:05

DP had snip and was fine within a week. It's not immediate though, we had to have 20 shags or something Grin and then he was tested to make sure it had worked. used condoms etc in the interim. Bloody brilliant now it's all done and dusted.

PuppyMonkey · 30/12/2010 15:05

On NHS btw.

jacksgrannie · 30/12/2010 15:07

Much easier for the husband. My DH had the snip nearly 30 years ago. No side-effects and no problems at all.

2old4thislark · 30/12/2010 15:07

My ex H had the snip and no problems. It does take a few months before you get the all clear I think.

I have had a Mirena coil (well they last five years and I'm on my 3rd) so I've had 11 years without a period, no Pmt etc.

I would at least talk to FPC about a Mirena -it's less drastic and can be fitted straight after your next peiod. Maybe worth trying while you consider more permanant options?

GnomeDePlume · 30/12/2010 15:14

I was sterilised during C-section. Totally agree that if you have planned and got 2 children then making that situation permanent is a good idea. My CS was for our unplanned third DC who was born practically clutching the coil which my GP had inserted just over 9 months earlier.

We went for me to be sterilised as consultant was going to be in there anyway. I was the one who couldnt risk having another CS so it made sense for me to be the one to be 'done'.

As I understand the main risk now is of ectopic pregnancy as tubes were removed not tied. Other than that and keeping in mind I was already being 'invaded' for the CS there arent other risks.

DilysPrice · 30/12/2010 15:17

DH had the snip on the NHS. very simple safe op, but he did have very painful temporary complications and I felt terribly guilty.
There is a very small risk of serious long term complications, but it's significantly safer than female sterilisation.

Original poster
llandb · 30/12/2010 15:38

eviscerate, thanks for the link - I award myself the dunce hat for observational powers! Xmas Grin

GnomeDePlume my DC2 was a planned c-sec and I should have just had it done then! But the section was planned with just one day's notice and I didn't feel I could ask for it (also in the rush at the time, I forgot that I'd been thinking of asking for it if I did have a c-sec :D) Yours is one of the sorts of anecdote that scares me off the coil!

2old4thislark, having said that, I suppose you're right, that it's worth discussing. It never occurred to me that a FPC would be the person to talk to - I just assume it would be a GP for the coil, or a 'her-bits' consultant or a 'his-bits' consultant. A person who has some specialist knowledge of all procedures might be best. Will need to see GP in a couple of weeks so will ask then whom to talk to and for a referral if necessary.

Thanks everyone, for all the info, advice and case histories! :)

OP posts:
2old4thislark · 30/12/2010 16:23

I DID have my Mirena fitted by my GP though - she's female and my age so I feel comfortable with her messing around with my lady parts Grin

She did say whilst she was recently fitting my last one that most women are very happy with the Mirena and say they wish they had one sooner.

eviscerateyourmemory · 30/12/2010 16:33

I agree with the advice to go to a family planning clinic. I did that after being messed about by my GP practice, and was able to speak to someone who specialised in contraception.
I was able to have a detailed chat about all of the options, found out that some of what I had been told by my GP was just wrong, and ended up with a choice that I'm very happy with (copper coil).

orangeflutie · 30/12/2010 16:59

I was sterilised earlier this year as I had decided a while ago I didn't want any more DC.

DH didn't want to have the snip and couldn't be persuaded.

I had my tubes clipped and it was all done through keyhole surgery. I recovered in a few days. It was a good decision as the worry of getting pregnant has now gone. I had tried the pill, coil etc and couldn't get on with the artificial hormones.

ArthurPewty · 30/12/2010 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 30/12/2010 17:15

Sterilised when ds2 was 5 mths old. It was supposed to have been done at his cs. Recovery was like a minor cs. Felt like i'd been 'beaten up inside'. But recovered quite quickly. Glad I had it done. Never have to worry again.

GenevieveHawkings · 01/01/2011 16:29

If you've suffered through two pregnancies and two births already llandb why do you feel that because you are the one who insists you are not having more kids (even though your DP is happy with that) that "all else being equal" you should be the one who has the op?

Where's the equality that you refer to coming from when he's had to suffer nothing and have no inconvenience and interference with his body so far?

With womne like you about it's no wonder that so few men have vasectomies!!

If a man offers to get this done, all you need to say is "OK I'll make you an appointment". You don't need to give it another thought.

GenevieveHawkings · 01/01/2011 16:44

"Wouldnt ask my DH to have the snip after my brother's life has been ruined by a botched vasectomy and he has been left with chronic orchitis."

That's unfortunate but it's a good job that women don't decide not to have children after being put off by the myriad botched obstetric practices we hear and read about daily - if they did, we'd pretty quickly die out as a species!!

Vasectomy is generally a very quick, safe, routine procedure that can be carried out under local anaesthetic in the treatment room of your GP's surgery (my DH's was) and if post operative care guidelines are adhered too sensibly, recovery is very quick too. Very often so-called complications occur simply because men don't follow them.

It's a shame that more men don't have vasectomies. Female sterilisation is far more invasive and more of a big deal, recovery times are longer and the costs to the NHS of female sterilisation over male sterilisation are far greater.

Vasectomy is the most sensible choice for couples who've decided they don't want more children by far.

CarGirl · 01/01/2011 16:50

Ha ha ha send him for the snip!

I went in for endometrial ablation which is very minor surgery indeed but as I had to have a GA I agreed to have my tubes clipped by laproscopy (we needed reliable contraception as it is dangerous to conceive after ablatation)

I was supposed to be discargeed after 4 hours, I finally came out of recovery after 3 hours on a morphine pump Hmm Truly is was awful, my stomach was spasming all night and I ended up with 2 weeks off work because I could focus/think even after the initial wore off.

In short had I knownn how bad it would be NO WAY would I have had it done!

I couldn't have looked after young children for 3 weeks, dh did it all - fortunately ours are all at school.

The only other factor in our decision was that I'm approaching 40 and my dh is only 33 so I felt should the worse happen and me and the kids snuffed it that he would potentially be young enough to meet someone else and start over.

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