Ideas for supporting/cheering up my Ddad who is starting chemotherapy on Monday at the age of 80

[nameymcnamechange]

We can't go and visit.

Will he feel like speaking to us on the phone or is it best not to call on the days he is actually having the drugs?

i feel a bit out of the loop but don't want to risk his health by potentially taking a winter virus into the house.

Don't want to make life harder for him, but at the same time don't want him to think we are not all rooting for him also.

Any ideas?

Sorry your dad's ill namey. Sorry I don't have much advice but I'm sure others will.

We used to send picture postcards to my Nana so she could see what the DC were up to [4 children was 4 days post] they used to skype her and as we used to visit for cream tea every week before she started treatment we used to deliver a cake every week to her and all eat while using skype, we also had picnics in the garden while she sat in the conservatory refereeing games [build snowmen for him /
Hope your Dad has an easy time, my Nan did not suffer to much and ate loads of jelly and ice cream [to help keep up fluid in take]
Let your Dad dictate the contacts depending on how he feels

Thanks ladies.

I am worried that if I call when he is right in the thick of it (eg. on the two or three days right after his chemotheraphy dose) he will feel obliged to speak to me, even if he feels absolutely terrible and would prefer not to.

But if I don't call ... then would that be worse?

My poor old dad .

My 82 year old Nan is having chemotherapy at the moment.

The first time she had chemo made her very tired and nauseaous (sp?) & I couldn't visit because I had two toddlers with permanent colds, but she liked phonecalls, even on the days she'd had the drugs. She would hardly speak herself, and we'd literally just say hello, we're thinking of you, love you loads, bye. She actually felt a lot worse the week after the drugs, and didn't want to get out of bed at all at that point. Then after that she started feeling better, going for short walks etc.

I think it affects people differently, depending on the drugs and their previous health.

my thoughts go out to you and your dad...

scouser is right, different drugs affect different people differently so best to see how it goes and how your dad feels on any given day. my dd is undergoing chemo and sometimes she's fine and can go rock-climbing but other days she is vomiting and weak and just wants to sleep all day.

having said that, it is definitely better to call for a chat or ask him if he needs anything, or SMS if he can read them and reply, and let him know you are always there no matter what. rather than staying away. strong moral support from family is very important for chemo patients, i find. even though dd feels ill and weak sometimes, she loves visitors and gets terribly bored and upset if no one visits. and of course she likes presents and cakes too, :) but it's the visitors that she looks forward to, really.
HTH

get him some thick fluffy socks as i remember my dad's feet used to get v cold.

namey, i'm sure you won't make him feel worse in any way. just tell him to be honest with you if you call at a time when he's resting.

letters, cards and pictures can be dropped in/posted unobtrusively and read at own leisure.

fwiw, my dad felt fantastic after chemo and it was the best time to speak to him, in between treatments he worsened.

hope you're ok too.