Help - I'm terrified of the dentist...

[hunkermunker]

Even thinking about going makes me want to sob wildly.

I've not been for years, at least. I have crowns where I broke my teeth when I was 9 and they're horrible - I'd really like to have them changed, but am too, too scared.

Help?

know that feeling - i have a crown on my front tooth that has broken off i've been once for the xray but i daren't go bad to have it repaired but need to as it looks horrid.

sorry that didn't really help

Have you got a dentist you are registered at ??

If not, you need to get registered and then find out if they have someone at the practice who specialises in people who are, a touch adverse to dentistry.

Or, ask around at M&T's etc., and see if anyone knows of a dentist sympathetic to your situation.

I used to have 'very scared' written on my notes, that's how bad I was. Went recently for a (re) fill and didn't even feel the needle go in - honestly.

You know you have to go - but just keep in your mind that you are an adult now and at any point, (well virtually) you can say 'Right, had enough now, I'm off'. And you could go. You won't though.

Here use this as a mantra

'Twig thinks I'm a wuss'

its not like you're going to be pushing something the size of a melon out of your mouth now is it?

what's the very very worst that can happen? you have to have an injection? how many blood tests have you had ya big hunkerwussmunker

Message withdrawn

I can't help Hunkermunker because I too am very scared of the dentist. In my experience I am right to be very afraid of the dentist.

I didn't go for 7 years. Now i also have one that treats me like a child and it makes all the difference. I had a filling done last time I went and came out crying - because i was so relieved that it didn't hurt!

can it be worse than childbirth hunker?

at least you are freely 'allowed' pain relief for dentistry - no need to be a hero when having a filling even if it isn't half as bad as pushing something the size of a bowling ball out of your delicate regions!!

hunker, you might have to wait until after the baby is born, but there are dentists who will heavily sedate nervous patients. I had to be referred to one because I had a tricky root canal which my own dentist felt would be best done under heavy sedation. I think they need additional qualifications to be able to do this, which is why you can't go to any surgery.

It was like being under a GA - I didn't remember a thing.

Oh, I see Twig's tried that line!

And i didn't have any pain releif for the filling {can you tell i am just a little bit proud of myself?)

I empathise totally. Up until I had DS2 I only went when I was in pain, and I had intravenous Valium to knock me out even for the teeth cleaning. I would cry throughout the check up too

The only reason I don't do it now is because I can't afford it anymore, and I lose a day and can't juggle childcare, getting someone to pick me up etc.

What helped me cope with it was being forced to have treatment awake. I discovered I was pg with DS2 when my dentist advised me to do a test before an XRay (I had admitted that I was overdue when they asked if I could be pg!) I was in so much pain though that I had no choice, I had to have treatment and it turned out to be rootcanal and a crown. It was horrible, I had to have someone with me all the time, and there were a few panic attacks but I did it.

I still cry throughout the visit but my dentist tactfully ignores it (he's lovely), I've done it once so I know I can do it again. It is easier if you go regularly, as you aren't having to have major traumatic treatment everytime!

If you need to have a lot of serious work done, maybe you should consider being put out and just getting it all done at once?

My stomach is turning huge queasy circles just typing this

Sorry, forgot you were pg, can you wait until afterwards?

And to everyone saying it's not as bad as childbirth, well no it doesn't hurt like giving birth, but I've had 3 babies with just G and A and I'd still rather do that ten times over, than go to the Dentist. No one said it was rational!

I used to be hysterical and cry and hold my breath and all sorts at the dentist. When I had children I knew I didn't want to pass my fear on to them and found that the deep breathing I learnt at yoga really helped calm me down before and during visits to the dentist. I also discovered that injections don't hurt now and the drill is alot quieter than it used to be (terrified by mad dentist as a child).

Take a friend with you, breathe deeply, wear a walkman/ipod depending on how old you are and best of luck. You won't regret it and will be so proud of yourself.

Yes, would definitely rather give birth again than visit the dentist. Giving birth happens down there...I can look away. But dentistry happens in my mouth - it's ME it happens to. I can't visualise I'm somewhere else, I can't pretend it's not happening to me (all brilliant coping strategies for injections, childbirth, etc).

I was sedated when I had my front teeth filed down for the crowns to go on.

I am not registered with a dentist, but think I know one where I can (my mum goes there and she says it's really good) - I just have to get up the courage to make the first appointment...

I know all the arguments about going, especially when pregnant, but I'm gripped with terror. And yes, Twig...I'm a wuss!

I used to be afraid of the dentist, too, but since having had a couple of really nice ones I've overcome my fear. I think the answer is to find a dentist in whom you have total confidence and who can put you at your ease. If you're near me (Scotland) I'd heartily recommend our lovely lady dentist - dd2 adores going to see her, she thinks it's fun! Best of luck, HM.

No, am in London...but am almost prepared to travel to Scotland if going to the dentist can be fun!

go to the one at work, Hunker - he is fab and sooo kind. I was terrified and had avoided dentists for years before I thankfully went to him.

btw, ds's abscess is back, been at A&E since leaving work. seeing surgeon tomorrow

, Hunker. Our dentist rarely uses those sharp instruments or mirrors when doing a check up, she's literally a very hands-on dentist.

Maybe you could start off by calling some surgeries and asking if you could meet the dentist before you go for an appt. That would take away the worry of meeting someone for the first time, whilst they are peering at your teeth. Would you mum come with you into the surgery, to hand-hold? I know our dentist would have no problem with that, she wants to make things easy for both the patient and herself. Ikwym about not being able to distance yourself from your mouth/teeth but would listening to music via earphones help take your mind off what was going on? Rescue Remedy is good, too, to soothe yourself.

Might try that, Dinny - but too scared of sobbing uncontrollably at work, or having to come back looking all puffy-faced from sobbing!

Got your email re DS - am so sorry What did they say at A&E? Is it as bad as last time?

Suedonim, yes, my mum will come with me. Am v embarrassed about it - honestly, soon to be a mother of two and can't manage a trip to the dentist! (DS has already been - went to DH's dentist who is nice, but dentists with his door open so people would hear my meltdown sobbing frenzy ). I will not pass on this total phobia to my children!)

really try him - he is excellent with nervous patients.

well, it's part of the original one - it's formed a fistula, probably will continue to rear its ugly head if he doesn't have surgery. at least, that's what am expecting surgeon to say tomorrow so worrying.

Oh, poor boy And poor you - you have to do the worrying How is he? Is it painful for him?

think he is in pain, especially when he's done a pooh. really really thought it had gone - it was 6 months ago that it happened.