As a teenager had a terrible family life, had an abusive and shouty parent. On outside very respectable and well liked, behind closed doors I was terrified. I felt trapped and like no one would believe me. Food became the thing I could control and I became anorexic. Over years have battled this and am now a normal (well slightly over normal) weight. I am happy.
This past week at work both my employers have raised voice and shouted at me in an aggressive way. (ones raised voice 2x, ones shouted once and raised voice another time) I feel scared, trapped, I cant just leave and get another job, I feel on my CV etc would look bad, my word against theres. I have found myself no eating much since Tuesday. No appetite. Its not a deliberate decision but this is how it started 10yrs ago. Stress = I dont want to eat. Then it starts to be about control and its the only thing I can control.
Today I have had a cheese toastie. I am not hungry at all. I feel trapped and like no one will understand how scary this is. I have not been shouted at like that since I lived at home.