does anyone else have a being-sick phobia?

[banana87]

Just wondering. It's called emetophobia and I am a sufferer. It gets worse and then better depending on how I am feeling. Right now its pretty bad, and I am hearing everyone talk about a tummy bug going around and I am seriously close to just staying indoors with DD to avoid. DD is 2 and we have avoided bugs so far but I am living in this constant state of anxiousness, esp at night, that she is going to be sick.

Anyway, just a vent...and also wondering if I am alone in this???

You definitely are not alone. There are lots of people on here with emetophobia - DumbledoresGirl is one who immediately comes to mind.

I think if you look in the archives there could well be old support threads which will tell you who does suffer.

My sympathies, though, it can't be a pleasant way to live, especially at this time of year.

Thanks BB. I will start another thread I think, or try to drudge the old one up! Am really pleased CBT worked for you. It did not work for me, but Fluoxetine has and I have recently re-started this so fingers crossed. I also send DD to CM once a week, and I also try and give her a probiotic in her milk at night to help her defenses. Really dreading her starting nursery next year though...

I share an office with two emetophobes. And had hyperemesis last year! We had to put a little plan in place in case I got really bad.
Felt so sorry for one of them especially, she gets so panicky if anyone mentions they feel sick.
You're not alone and it deserves sympathy.

OMG CVS is my worst nightmare. Although, like you I think I would be ok knowing I couldn't catch it. Same with the migrane. But if it's an unknown reason I do not sleep, cannot sleep, spend the night googling and waiting to catch it.

Me too! I'm nowhere near as bad as i used to be..oddly enough i can cope when someone has morning sickness or is sick cos they've had to much to drink..but when there's a stomach bug going round it makes my blood run cold

I get especially panicky when there is anything about norovirus mentioned and it makes me not want to leave the house! It's a horrible horrible phobia but surprizingly common

It is surprisingly common.

My SIL is like that and she can't even stnad seeing people being sick on TV even though it isn't real.

She closes her eyes and puts her fingers in her ears.

me too :(

I am the same if i cant catch it i can deal with it...

I am an emetephobe too and I am going through a hard time because I have constant pregnancy nausea even though I am 28 weeks along.

Coupled with my ibs it is hell on earth and I feel so miserable all the time. This is my 2nd and LAST DC!

Another one here. Rubbish, isn't it?! This time of year is particularly stressful IME. MPD

I hate February. That is the worst stomach virus month for me!! No idea why, I just think I had one once at it was in Feb. Rocklover, how do you cope when your dc has a bug?

banana87, another emetephobe here with symptoms exactly like yours - ie so much worse at night. ds1 is nearly 5 and has just started reception so i have finally lost all control over what he may pick up. am finding things really tough at the moment as my general frame of mind at the moment isn't the greatest anyway.

feel a bit crazy posting here right now as ds2 is asthmatic, has a stinking cold, is wheezing like crazy and is suffering from croup right now. we may well end up in an ambulance tonight yet i am still stressing about tummy bugs

Me too - if a support thread starts will be well up for it although might only be able to swing ina nd out.

Banana I know the horrible through the night thing. Everytime DD (3) gets up for milk etc in the night I panic. I can no longer cuddle her in bed at night if she's distressed just incase. I feel awful about it. I got on top of it for about 10 years - probably as I didn't have to deal with it but now am in a total state again. I've had a terrible year mind you, have lost 2 babies at 17 weeks for totally different reasons so I think anyone would be anxious in my shoes, it's just so annoying it manifests as emetophobia. With small DCs it's so totally uncontrollable.

Oh had awful MS too with all 3 of my pgs but never let a drop pass my lips just lots of retching. My sympathies Recklover - the anxiety adds to the general awfulness - and 28 weeks, that's too much!

Anyway glad you started this banana - I was actually checking the health threads for anything about V as I always do.

Hi everyone - im so glad I found this thread. ive suffered from this phobia for all my life, i found this forum by googling for sum more information, i have to confess i am not a mum but i have some major fears about becoming one because of this phobia.

i also found a way to deal with this phobia for a while, until i met my current partner. in a lot of ways he has helped me over come parts of this, i used to be a vegetarian bcos i was too scared that the thought of eating a dead animal would make me sick, i eat meat now but only in certain situations, i still struggle in groups of people or around my family (im too embarassed for them to kno the real reason). but him allowing me to be so honest and allowing me the room to try to over come things he has really helped me a lot.

lately ive been thinking about going back on my medication (fluoxetine) as my main phobia lies in being sick while people are around i dont understand this part myself). me and my partner have plans to move out next year together but im so scared ill be sick in the night or wake up with a bug (this is how its always happened for me and stomach bugs) that i find it hard to even let him stay the night just incase, so the thought of moving out and living with him is scaring me senseless.

I cant even begin to think of how terrified I am of having children (morning sickness, stomach bugs etc) and i just cant let this fear ruin my life anymore.

one more thing i would like to add is, about three years ago I actually had a stomach bug, and found during that time, my phobia of being sick wasnt even in existance, once i started being sick i realised i wasnt even scared of it....but six months later i found my anxiety over being sick again became huge, has anyone ever experienced this? im starting to think that my phobia is to do with something underlying, and not actually being sick, does this make sense? I wish i had some answers...I would really appreciate some feedback...

hope you all are well...

Crunchie Biscuit

Welcome Crunchybiscuit. I am very similar to you, in that I do not think its the being sick I am scared of, its all the lead up to it, the fear of catching it, not wanting anyone around if I am sick (I will go to lengths to prevent it though). I had ms with DD and I was totally over my fear but it quickly came back to haunt me.

Today I am having a particularly bad day. I feel quite sick and have worked myself up into a state of panic. I have no fever, no d, no v, but just don't feel right. Have taken a Tamazepam which in hindsight was stupid since I have a 2 year old and can barely keep my eyes open. :(

Another emetophobic here! I used to be so scared of being sick that I practically stopped eating when I was at sixth form college. People thought I was anorexic but it had nothing to do with my body image or anything like that, I was simply terrified of food in case it would make me sick.

I've been much, much better recently thank god. I think it's definitely closely related to other anxiety and stress in your life as when things are calmer and I feel more in control of stuff in my life generally, the phobia is less severe. It flared up badly during the year leading up to the break up with my ex and I didn't make the connection between the stress and feeling out of control, and the strength of the phobia until aftwerwards.

I completely empathise with the poster who said they are scared about being sick when someone else is around - emetophobia almost certainly has its roots in social anxiety disorder and the more I understand this about my own condition, the better I get.

I also have to say (and I know this will freak some of you out, so I apologise but I think it's important): one of the other things that helped me was catching a stomach bug. My partner at the time caught it too and we were both up all in night dealing with it together. In a very odd way it was kind of bonding - we ended up joking about who could make it to the bathroom quicker. Also, I remember thinking at the time, as I was vomiting, that 'This really isn't so bad. Sure it's unpleasant but not half as dreadful as it is in my worst nightmares'. I felt like such a hero afterwards because I'd lived through my worst fear and survived. It was almost like I was on a kind of high, and I've really tried to hold onto that feeling of flexing my muscles in the mirror and shouting 'bring it on!'. Lol.

Not that the answer is to go and actively catch a stomach bug. I know how terribly, terribly debilitating a phobia like this can be, but I just want to say that it doesn't have to be debilitating forever, it's possible to manage (if not completely overcome altogether - I still have wobbly days), and remember that you are in control of it, IT isn't in control of you.

I am emetophobic too. I find carrying an antibacterial hand gel with me gives me slight peace of mind, I always make sure DC's use it at playcentres etc.
If I even feel slightly nauseaus I have an anxiety attack. I find it very difficult using public transport in case someone is sick.

I saw a man throwing up on the tube last week, sent me into a panic attack. When I got to my appointment at the other end I had to go into the loos and have a little cry.

Feel stupid reading that, but it's so horrible. I really irrationally hated the man as well. I wasn't concerned for his well being, I just felt extreme resentment towards him for making me feel so terrified.

I wasn't a very good samaritan I'm arraid :(

banana, i cant believe how similar in characteristics our phobia is, i thought it was just me with those particulars, do you know what it is that worries you so much about somebody being there when you are being sick? i cant for the life of me figure it out...and i wonder why at the time of illness we were both completely over it but now its back with a vengance? this is what makes me think that its not being sick we are scared of but a completely different underlying anxiety that manifests itself in some way, I often maybe think its all to do with not being able to control the situation? we cant stop it from happening, is that whats scary?

madonna whore - thanks for the eye opener in regard to emet being related to social anxiety disorder - ill be doing some research on that to see if i can make a bit of sense out of it all. Like i sed in my previous post, having a stomach bug was the best thing that happened to me too...especially when my whole family wer out the country i REALY had to toughen up at that point, but the feeling of over coming the phobia lasted 6 months at best...

twirly mum - i wont get on a bus, i dont like the motion, makes me feel sea sick. i wont get in a car for longer than half an hour...im out of a job at the moment because i live a fair distance from the city...i wont use the bus cos on some days it can take 40 minutes to get to the city, i dnt want to work in the city bcos (and heres were it gets really crazy...) im scared of fainting as everytime i do I wake up and i am sick...so if im somewhere were i cant eat at a certain time ill get scared ill faint from hunger...and thats wer the phobia kicks in again, it really is dibilitating for me, most days i am just so angry and wonder "why me?"...

I think i have worked out to a certain extent that my fear has re emerged after me conquering it (or so i thought) is because I have a certain memory of illness that will just not leave me, and i fear it will be that bad everytime ...

goodness me...anyone else? lol :) x

madonna whore...i totally sympathise...honestly if that was me i would have done the same...

i was in a macdonalds last week (not to eat mind u...) and a drug addict (it was quite obvious) followed me into the toilet and was violently ill...i was shaking and had to hold the tears in the rest of the shopping trip with my partner...i totally and utterly sympathise.

p.s - anyone else open a public toilet door really slowly just incase theres someone been ill in there?

yeah probably just me...!!

Forgot to mention that I had hypnotherapy which helped too.

I decided to make an appointment after someone said that they'd seen a hypnotherapist for their spider phobia. What he uncovered was a memory of being a toddler in his high chair and watching a spider crawl across the tray in front of him. His mum noticed and screamed and then slammed her fist down on the tray, killing the spider. The therapist said that it was witnessing his mother's fear, combined with the act of aggression (slamming the fist) that entrenched the phobia in him.

It made me think of my own experience with my phobia and I made a connection with a memory I had of throwing up over my dad when I was very little. Obviously he was shocked and surprised to be receiving a blast of vomit in the face from his daughter so his first reaction was to exclaim in disgust and kind of throw me off his lap so that he could avoid getting hit with further expulsions! I think it was that disgust and rejection (although, bless my dad I know he would never, ever have meant to be cruel) I provoked in him that ingrained a sense of dread and mortification at the thought of ever being sick in front of anyone again.

I wonder if you delved back, you'd be able to pinpoint a similar time when someone (unwittingly) reacted badly to you being ill and that set the precedent?

madonnawhore - oh goodness - what a story! its crazy the way such things can effect the rest of our lives isnt it. Ive also received hypnotherapy but i never felt comfortable enough with my therapist to truely relax and for it to make a difference, i would like to give it another go tho...i wish they sold a CD with something like that on...i have tried a few but cant seem to find any with the right kind of therapy on...

i think my problem with having somebody there is that i need to feel extremely comfortable with them, i suppose im getting there in a way for me to feel ok having my partner there but its going to take many years. im fine with my immediately family being there, as i have grown up with them all my life, i think again it comes down to control with me, if there is somebody else there i am in even less control of the situation as before? i dont know, talking about it in such depth brings back a sense of feeling like an insecure child...i was bullied a lot growing up plus my mum and dad worried a lot when i was ill. there are so many reasons for this phobia i think its impossible to pinpoint what it is, i was very sick as a baby (heart surgies etc) so it could even be because of something i dont even remember happening...

when u had ur hypnotherapy, was it more of a regression therapy where u went to ur first memory ever etc? the hypnotherapy i had wasnt like that, it was basically relaxation techniques etc so i would like to try it again...what was it like remembering what happened with your dad? was it scary, where you anxious when you were with the therapist? im worried id have a panic attack if the memory was very vivid...

crunchie x

Hi crunchie,

When I had hypnotherapy it wasn't like I was 'put under' or anything, I felt like I was still conscious, just with my eyes closed and my mind drifting in the way it does before you go to sleep. I don't think the therapist even asked me a prompting question, maybe it was because my subconscious knew why I was there and was giving me a hand, but the memory just popped into my head.

It wasn't a new memory, I already knew it had happened iyswim because my dad and I have laughed about it before, but it suddenly made complete sense that that incident was the trigger for my phobia. I hadn't made the connection before between my dad being freaked out by my puking on him and my phobia of puking (even though to read that back it sounds crazy that I didn't realise it sooner), but in hypnotherapy the penny just dropped and I joined all the dots. It wasn't scary at all.

I really identify with what you say about control, insecurity and bullying. I was a very shy child (if you met me now you'd never believe it!) and felt extremely insecure and anxious in groups of people, which made me an easy target for bullies. Also, my mother was a very anxious person herself and underconfident in social situations or situations where she needed to be the responsible adult, so as a child in her care, without my dad there, I always felt kind of unsafe and like she wouldn't know what to do if something went wrong. I think that definitely shaped my late experiences.

It seems to be down to a number of different factors but what's so interesting about this thread is that those factors all have a common theme: control, social anxiety, fear of embarrassment, not feeling safe...

When you distill it down like that, it actually doesn't really have anything to do with being sick at all.