Any hepatologists/liver experts about? PLEASE Having a panic!!

[phonicspusher]

So I spent the whole of my 20s trying to self destruct, mainly with alcohol. Now I am 35 and happily married with two gorgeous Dcs and barely recognise the depressed and insecure wreck I used to be and am I definately do not want to self destruct. But for the last 18 months I have had an intermittent sensation of fullness and aches and twinges under my right ribs, into my back, accross to my left ribs, down to my right groin and in the epigastric area. I have seen a gastroenterologist. I have a palpable liver edge which he says would count as normal in an exam (actually have had this for years). He has done many LFTs, other bloods including liver enzymes, two ultrasounds, OGD and colonoscopy - all were normal except for some painful spasms in the upper right bend on colonoscopy which are "typical of functional bowel disease". I have intermittent loose frequent stools (all brown! TMI!) and occasional constipation. I feel a bit sick from time to time. Tonight I have done about six poos!! I haven't missed a day of work but have only really felt great during a period of six weeks when I was PG (sadly this did not progress) and was eating super healthy and not drinking any alcohol or fizzy pop. My gastroenterlist tells me I have fatty liver, and possible IBS, and thinks it is more likely due to my weight (BMI 26) and having two pregnancies close together than the alcohol - despite me telling him how worried I was about alcohol damage. In fact I now barely drink, in my early 30s I had no trouble giving up for pregnancy and can't imagine why I ever drank the way I did, will have no trouble packing it in..just seems so bloody stupid in retrospect - but then that was then, this is now.. So my terror is that I have undiagnosed cirrhosis and will die young leaving two gorgeous kids motherless cos I was an idiot.., Can anyone with experience and/or knowledge calm me dowm? Or are my fears real?

Well, speaking as one who also tried to self-destruct in their early 20s (and late teens), ended up with hepatitis C and knows more than she should about the sharp end of hepatology: I think the possibility of you having undiagnosed cirrhosis after all those tests is about 0.

Really, if you've had all the blood tests for liver function (and I presume he checked you for hepatitises while he was at it) there is no reason to even suspect cirrhosis. The ultrasound would show something, too. When I had active hepatitis, my ultrasound showed a 'shiny surface' but, according to the sonographer, 'nothing that resembles cirrhosis' so it sounded to me as though that would have showed up.

Re the discomfort and twinges, any chance it could be your back? Any aches and pains, twists, lopsidedness that could cause nerve twinges down one side?

Though IME, anxiety (and the shadow of old guilt) can cause us to feel all sorts of very real pains...and nausea...and weird pooing habits.

Did you ever talk about your self-destruct days with anyone, a counsellor for example?

Just questions to think about, but all I can say is, when I read your post, I didn't feel concerned for your liver but did think you sounded in need of some comfort and a hug. Not very MN, I know, but ah well

What a lovely response! I feel a bit teary, as I always do whevever anyone is nice to me! And how brave of you to come on and let me know about your exerioence - somehow feels comforting that I am not alone in having such crazy and damaging behaviour in my past! I haven't been checked for hepatitis viruses - but I will ask my Dr. I think you are right that much of the problem is guilt and terror... Need to think og an approach to it. And presumably hauling 11kg of 2 ytear old around all day won't be doing my back any favours, so maybe you are right... Can I ask how you are getting on now?

I'm getting on beautifully, thank you, if you don't count a recent dose of shingles

The hepatitis was treated successfully years and years ago, my liver is happy. And as for the self-destruct, I started dealing with that at the age of 25....am now an old lady of 50 (can't believe I just typed that ). I've done lots and lots of talking about it all, and what lay underneath it, since I stopped drinking and taking drugs - therapy, groups, you name it. All helpful, more or less, and mostly enjoyable!

Your answer to my post - ie lugging a pre-schooler around, guilt and terror - rings so true. If you possibly can find someone to talk to, I'm sure it would help...maybe your GP can refer you? As for the back, hmm - my youngest, believe it or not, is nearly 4 and my back is a mess: time, osteopaths...?! Good luck, xxx

Sorry to be dim but my first thought was gallbladder? Has this been ruled out? They were to and fro about diagnosing my mum but it was hers.