how can i make my dp understand that 7.6 cholesterol level is SERIOUS???

[juicychops]

he was told last week his cholesterol is 7.6 and should be below 5. the day he was told he said to me 'i want to start a diet tomorrow'

i thought fantastic at last. he eats so much shit and ive been worried about his health for so long as he's put on so much weight, but have waited for him to admit the problem rather than make himself feel bad. i though this was a turning point.

anyway, the next day he went to see the doc. he's told me his doctor has said he's not worried about his health, he's healthy and his arteries are completely clear. nothing to worried about, and go back in feb for a check up.

WTF???

firstly, i dont know whether he has a completely rediculous stupid doctor, or if he's lying to me and denial about the seriousness of this problem. he's now still eating all the shit he's eaten over the last few years and not bothered about it. ive tried explaining to him that there is no way his arteries are 'completely clear' if his cholesterol is 7.6 as that is what cholesterol measures!
ive told him with the stress he's under anyway he';s on the verge of a heart attack. all he says is the doctor isn't worried so im not worried.

its frustrating me so much. i thought this would be the scare he needed to sort himself out but looks like he needs a heart attack to wake him up. i seriously dont know what to do.

ive said to him that the checkup in feb is prob to check he's been changing his diet and that his cholesterol has gone down. if he doesn't he may end up on medication.

i dont know what to do. im fed up trying to help him when he's not willing to help himself

BUMP

am i over reacting then??

He probably is in denial. IME, most docs will tell you to lose weight and offer help. Some are rather unpleasant about it as well which can set you back months. I have struggled with weight since 16. Have been underweight, overweight and obese since then. I have a really f#cked up attitude to food TBH. This kind of thing is quite common these days.
All you can do is make sure that when you cook, you make healthy meals for the family if you're not doing this already. Make sure when you are shopping you don't buy any cr#p. Try and take over shopping trips from him. No arguments. If you or your kids want a treat, buy it when you are out and don't keep it in the house. It's too much of a temptation otherwise. I know it will be hard to control his secret eating and meals he cooks. Speaking as an obese person who has lost weight recently, it is an addiction and he will need to want to do it for himself.
If he is wanting some structure and help to lose weight, I recommend Slimming World. He might be referred for some free sessions by the GP if he is really in a bad way (I was). Have lost 2 and a half stone since Feb. There's also a good free site called Foodfocus that will help him log his calories. If he eats well 90% of the time, he can have a takeaway/wine/beer at the weekend. Good luck.

I know very little about cholestrol etc so can't really help, but am bumping again for you. I too would be worried. Can you get him to see another doctor, and then agree to let it go if that doctor is also unconcerned?

how would his GP know that his arteries were clear wihotu xray vision

Unfortunately, he is an adult and you can't force him to eat healthily and he doesn't have to divulge what was said in his GP's appointment. I really feel for you. My DH suffers from depression and kept deciding to stop his pills and freaking out. A slightly different situation, but bloody frustrating nonetheless.

Hi

I would suggest you read up some more about cholesterol because there is "good" and "bad" cholesterol. Knowledge is power.

What you eat plays a part but this is not the only factor involved.

www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/cholesterol1.shtml

I think you need to scare him TBH. you don't need to bring his weight into the equation as that would hurt his feelings, and skinny people can have high cholesterol anyway.

I think he needs it spelled out to him that if he keeps this up he will not be around for long.

thanks everyone for replying.

ive tried scaring him ive told him he could be on the verge of a heart attack and dying.

he eats so so SO much shit. he doesn't eat fruit or veg, refuses to eat pasta or rice or whoegrain stuff,wont eat stir fries or anything remotely healthy. he lives on a small selection of oven food and take aways. and DESSERTS BY THE BUCKET LOAD!!

he eats a fattening dessert every night such as 6-12 profiteroles with cream, chocolate eclairs and brownies. 1-2 litres of full fat coke a day,probably 3-4 takeaways per week.

he doesn't live with me so i dont always cook for him. although he is round most evenings. i dont have much money at the moment and he doesn't contribute to food bills so i buy me and ds cheap things like pasta and rice and pasta sauces etc but he wont touch that stuff.

he buys all the desserts himself as i refuse to waste my money on such shit. he cant afford it either but he will always scrape enough together to get stuff like that.

he's got depression although wont do anything about getting help for it. he's just in one big self destructive cycle and its bringing me down with him. his moods are bad, his attitude to everything is crap and he's completely let himself go.

Oh no. That's bloody awkward if he does not live in the same house.
I can't believe that he eats profiteroles/desserts every night. Even when I was 17 stone I would not eat that much. Coke is a killer though. There are ways to get veg in food unobtrusively. Blenders are brilliant. Veg can be hidden in cottage pies and curries as well.

he wouldn't eat home cooked meals such as cottage pie, curries etc. he likes curry but only take away. he wont eat home cooked anything. the only thing he will occasionally eat is a jacket potato but thats only with oven cooked chicken in breadcrumbs or something

im not exagerating, he seriously eats a dessert like that every single night. and big portions too, not small ones. enough for at least 2 people

go with him to a MALE doctor.

Unless he's had an angiogram, there's no way of knowing if his arteries 'are clear'.

Has he always eaten like this juicychops? If so, I am surprised that he is only encountering problems now.

he's always eaten quite badly the last 5 years we've been together, but the last 1-2 years have got a lot worse.

im gunna try and talk to him tonight about it again. ive got to go to the docs tomorrow so im going to ask my doc what his opinion would be and what he would do for a patient with that high cholesterol.

dp never goes to the docs for anything even when he needs to. he only went this time as he fas feeling dizzy and faint and had to get his blood pressure checked - which was too low. thats why he also had his blood tests done. it will be quite diffcult to get him to another doc - especially if this doc IS telling him he's 'perfectly fine and in good health'

Hi juicy, as others have said the only way to know whether his arteries are clear is an angiogram. There are some other tests that can indicate problems but only an angiogram can give definitive results so I think he has either misunderstood or is telling you that to keep you from monitoring his diet.

Not all cholesterol is bad and not all is a result of a poor diet. It is impoortant to know what the ratio of good (HDL)and bad (LDL) cholesterol is.
I was told I had high 'bad' 'cholesterol a couple of years ago and dietery changes had no effect on it so I was prescribed statins which have brought it down considerably.

That's pretty bad :( is your relationship good otherwise? This must be causing stress. It's easy for me to say as my DH is skinny and healthy, but I don't think I could put up with a guy who treated himself like that. I'm amazed, I'm 5st overweight (gradually losing it though!) and I don't eat anything like that much.

Have you considered signing him up for one of those shows like supersize v superskinny?

morning everyone. our relationship isnt great at the moment mainly cos of the way he is.

he would never never never go on a program like that he would find it humiliating

until he stops being in denial i suppose there isn't anything i can do really is there? i cant force him to face up to it

i imagine by the way he eats it is probably bad cholesterol he has

The type of cholesterol is not really important- the total figure is what they go by.

He sounds depressed- self destruct comes to mind.

Like an addict using food instead of drugs or alcohol.

no, you can't do anything but you can decide if you want to be with him. Doesn't sound like a very good bet to me.

Has he made any changes yet juicychops? Hope you are OK.

I'd suggest the cholesterol thing us not the real issue here. IRS control. You have a kind of infantile man to be responsible for (or feel you do ) who is a partner you say but sounds more like a dependent. What do you get out of this relationship ? To worry and pester. No care no consideration. I'd think hard about what is really bothering you.

purple - the total cholesterol is not the most important figure, it's the ratio between good and bad that's important (also the triglycerides level). My DH has high cholesterol (6.9) and he is slim and very fit - a keen cyclist. He has high bad but also very high good cholesterol (due to large amounts of exercise and a healthy diet. NB The exercise is the best way to raise good cholesterol). The ratio between the two means he is at no greater risk of heart disease than someone with average cholesterol.

OP - hope you are OK.

BIL ate a diet like your DP. By 54 he was unable to walk for more than half a mile on the flat. A trip to the doctor revealed that some of his arteries were almost completely blocked. He had to have three stents put in.

I thought that was shocking at such a young age. Fortunately he has now taken his life in hand, and is much slimmer, fitter and eats better. God knowws what other damage is lurking in his circulatory system though