cancer treatment at 89? would you go ahead?

[nightcat]

Awful dilemma, my dad is quite frail and nearly 89 and has been diagnosed with skin cancer that looks like it may have spread. Dr said operate + chemo, I wasn't there to ask all the questions, but I can't say that he would make it through in his general state of health and he is not keen either (mentally he is 100% with it, but very frail).
Does anyone have experience of thit type of treatment post 80? Have they made it thorugh or is it better to leave it be?

That sounds really good, CMOT...my friend had RT to her head, unfortunately it made her very tired, wanting to sleep all the time. It was also very painful. She did see a reduction, ie they killed the tumours but at some cost to her quality of life.

Sadly she never recovered. But it would have got her anyway, it was the lung/visceral disease that went mad.

Probably part of her exhaustion was due to the chemo, as well - it was concurrent, pretty much.

Nightcat, sorry about your Dad - sounds much less invasive than what I've experience of, I'd listen to CMOT but be cautious and ask about the side effects before committing to it. They should be honest with you.

Wow...we looked at Brachytherapy but it was too fast moving. I'm glad people do benefit from it.

((FA)) you clearly went to hell and back for and with your friend. It must take a long time to deal with that kind of trauma, and I imagine there isn't the same support for friends/family of patients as there (hopefully) is for patients. xxx

CMOT, you have an incredible memory! Yes, brachytherapy at 80. He's 84 now, fit as a flea, gardening, travelling, just published a book and far too busy to see his children - ie back to normal

Actually, his mother (who made it to 96) was quite a character too, but my very ancient GM - much like your GMIL - was impeccably dressed and upright till well past 99. She was a Parisian, knew exactly what was going on, and could argue for France about politics, religion, fashion, and just about anything else till 100+. Oh I hope I have her genes

Wow, Eli, I hope you do too! She sounds incroyable - as does your Dad, it's brilliant he's had success from the treatment and is still with you.

Thanks for the hugs. Hope your poor old head isn't too bad - have you got some proper antiviral meds or just the cream? xx

thank you all :)
Will be talking to drs myself next week.
My dad is also very switched on, nicely spoken, interested in politics and world affairs and almost drug fee apart from something for cholesterol.

I am hoping I have some of his longevity genes, I do have his blood group, so that's a start. It would be awful to lose him, it's like you know, he has always been around for me.

Proper antiviral pills, plus cream, plus codydramol if it gets worse - and dh is on holiday next week (as we were meant to be in Venice)

I also have shooting pains in my neck on that side, and a pea sized lump near my collar bone which I'm sure is a lymph gland (makes sense) but am slightly freaked by

sorry nightcat, just realised I hijacked - am a bit fuzzy tonight.

Your dad sounds lovely - I know just what you mean about them being around forever, and hope he mends fast with the radiotherapy. Tell him lots of ladies are wishing him well

Oh you poor love

Yes I'm sure it's normal to have a few glands up with this. I hope the anti viral stuff really kicks in soon and makes it a much shorter episode than it would otherwise have been.

Try not to worry, pet.

I was about to apologise for hijacking as well

Sorry, that was me, not you Eli!

Night, Nightcat...I hope a decision is reached that you are all comfortable with.

Firstly, I am so sorry that you and your Dad are going through this.

I would say that the doctor obviously thinks that your Dad is strong enough for the treatment. When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer (aged 77) the doctors were straight with him and told him he was too frail for chemo and surgery and the best they could offer was palliative care to help ease any pain.

But at the end of the day it is your Dad's call. You say he is 100% with it, so just let him know that you are 100% behind him whatever his decision. Prepare yourself for the fact that your Dad may well decide that he'd like to enjoy the rest of his life without chemo and surgery.

Christ - just seen op date. Off to check thread to make sure I haven't been totally foot-in-mouth.

Wow - his prognosis sounds a lot better now. I hope I didn't upset you with my previous post.

Fingers crossed for a saved eye. x

Not upset by hijack at all, hope you get better soon Eli, sorry you didn't make it to Venice (I loved it)
LilRWG, tbh, after mri I thought the first dr was foot-in-mouth by giving my dad the worst case scenario before he had seen mri.
I just want to hang on to my dad for a bit longer as he is just great.

Thanks, nightcat. I think your Dad sounds great too, and his daughter sounds very nice as well!

FA, thank you, very nice to read in wobbly moment (funny how we get all 'little' when ill!). I've found a few more nodes, which is reassuring, I guess I'm just viral enough to make glands swell that don't normally with a cold!

End of hijack. Please let us know how your Dad gets on, nightcat.