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Original poster

How on earth do I talk about this with my GP?

26 replies

embarassedone · 04/10/2010 19:07

I had a bit of a bad experience last week with my smear: HCP did not realise I had a septate hymen, put the instrument the wrong side and didn't stop when I said stop, or owww...so no septate hymen any more.

I had not planned to have anything done as it was very stretchy, and off to one side so it did not get in the way (except for childbirth when I was told it would break).

Trouble is, the remaining length is still bleeding a bit, is sore, and I have cramps.

How can I bring this up without laying blame on the HCP?

Is there any way I can find out what is written on the computer screen that causes nurses' attitudes to change? I think she ignored my 'stop' because of my early life experiences, but I am in my 30s, and had told her myself that it was no issue now Angry

OP posts:
MumInBeds · 04/10/2010 19:16

You are entitled to see your medical records.

How to do this.

If you are worried that you have had harm caused you need to tell your GP and have it checked. Don't worry about blame, just mention
that you have a septate hymen and you think it was damaged during a smear and ask for it to be checked.

There is no cause to be embarassed and no good reason a HCP should ignore your call to stop.

hormonesnomore · 04/10/2010 19:19

I'm sorry you had this horrible experience.

Why wouldn't you want to blame the HCP - as far as I can see she hurt you and carried on hurting you when you told her to stop.

That's assault.

Please go to your GP and tell her/him exactly what happened.

If you get no sympathy, complain to the practice manager.

You can take someone with you for support.

bigstripeytiger · 04/10/2010 19:20

I would just tell the GP what happened. She should have stopped when you said stop. I cant imagine what early life experience would make anyone less likely to respond to a 'stop'?

piratecat · 04/10/2010 19:21

omg you poor love. she didn't stop?

please do go back to your gp, and explain what you've told us. x

warthog · 04/10/2010 19:22

yes - i'd get it checked out. and i don't think she has a reason in the world to carry on when you said stop.

Original poster
embarassedone · 04/10/2010 19:35

Thank you for all the supportive comments.

I don't particularly want to share with my new GP what I think might be on that screen, as my old GP never brought it up. The only people who ever have done were nurses doing smears or contraception checks. So I wonder if it just comes up on those screens (child abuse).

That is why I think the nurse may have ignored me, because she commented on the screen saying something after...but I asked if relaxation was the issue and got told no (because I was cross by then as I felt what happened).

It is just hard to bring up with a new GP, as it happened a long time ago but is one of the reasons the stretched bit wasn't a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
embarassedone · 04/10/2010 19:52

Sorry, that was TMI really...and I guess I am upset Confused Not sure why I am, as it wasn't good anyway.

OP posts:
MumInBeds · 04/10/2010 19:58

Not TMI at all, it is reality.

Whatever is or isn't on the computer is no reason to ignore your requests to stop.

It does sound like you need to talk this through with someone and I think your GP is probably the right person.

Original poster
embarassedone · 04/10/2010 19:58

Maybe I'm only 99% over it...damn - feels like I'll be saying I did something wrong, when I really didn't.

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FabIsGettingOnWithLife · 04/10/2010 20:00

I am so sorry you have had to go through this and you definitely need to make a complaint or at least see a doctor and say what has happened. You may have to be examined to check all is okay too.

You said stop, she should have done irrespective of what it says on your records.

Original poster
embarassedone · 04/10/2010 20:38

I'll try and get the courage together tomorrow (wish it was before work so it was out the way!) :(

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thisisyesterday · 04/10/2010 20:47

definitely go. i know you probably don;'t want to, but i would seriously think about making a complaint aboutt he person who did it

if you say stop, that means STOP. it does not mean carry on! i woulkd be livid.

but you must go and get checked over to make sure it's all ok

thisisyesterday · 04/10/2010 20:48

oh and your early life experiences make it even more important for her to have stopped whn you first asked

tempertemper · 04/10/2010 21:00

I can't imagine not stopping if someone said so. As a doctor I would be very paranoid about my examination being construed as assault: to me it this is much more the case if your "screen" indicated your background. I would have been super careful to make sure you were ok with what I was doing, that you were not upset or in discomfort. At the very least this HCP needs more training, and at the worst they may need to be stopped from assaulting others. Its not so much the septate hymen part (easy enough to place the speculum incorrectly) but the fact that you clearly indicated you were in pain and actually asked her to stop but she carried on anyway.

I can't think of a single reason why any HCP would have done this: its NOT right and you absolutely should talk to someone (GP/Practice Manager) about it. (And regarding your background - lots of patients will be in your situation, I don't think you need to bring it up uf you don't want to. It doesn't change the facts of the matter. This examination would have been inappropriate whether there was a background of abuse or not.)

Original poster
embarassedone · 04/10/2010 21:17

Thanks...I'll do my best to get what happened across to the GP (and hope she is a listening kind of GP). If it wasn't for the bleeding (which I think is just surface) and cramps (which aren't), I'd take the easy way out.

OP posts:
grapeandlemon · 04/10/2010 21:32

You poor thing. You have really been hurt. I really hope you pick up soon.

Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 19:17

I have no proof I had a septate hymen before (apart from my head).

Gp said that there is no evidence of hymen, but there are two skin tags at 1 and 7 (???) that look sore and as if they have been bleeding recently.

Screw me.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 05/10/2010 19:45

you don't need any proof. she hurt you and she shouldn't have. if he saw evidence that they had been bleeding then that's why...

:(

Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 20:53

She said they could be remenants of septate etc.

And apologised on her colleague's behalf.

That doesn't stop me feeling bad, particularly after she said I had no hymen remenants anywhere else. No phone lines open locally now. :(

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Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 22:35

PS GP was very professional with the exam (and saying she'd stop if I wanted, even though it was just her fingers). I don't understand what the 1 and 7 mean though, and don't really want to go back for a smear.

OP posts:
tempertemper · 05/10/2010 22:41

I imagine the GP was referring to the position of the tags as if they were viewing a clock face: i.e. a tag at 1 oclock (at the top) and one at 7 oclock (at the bottom).

Why would you need proof? Seems odd. Did she mean that it just hadn't previously been documented that you had a septate hymen?

Surely it would be recorded in your maternity notes if nowhere else. I have never seen one stay intact after a vaginal birth.

Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 22:44

I foster; haven't had mine own dc (indeed I was told birth would break it, as other activities hadn't).

Thank you for the explanation.

OP posts:
tempertemper · 05/10/2010 22:49

Oh, sorry I think I misread your OP. I thought you had already had children but re-reading looks like not...I was wondering how the septate hymen had survived birth!

You need to decide if you want to complain or not, formally. If so then draft a letter whilst the facts are straight in your head. I imagine the GP will feed back to the other HCP thought (I would). Normally this sort of thing is seen as a learning point/treated as a significant event at the very least.

Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 23:08

Other HCP had already been to GP and said it was 'difficult', has many years service etc. God knows what she told her. This was part of my reluctance as she said she was going to 'have to talk to the GP' about me, and that any future attempt would have to be done by GP with that HCP there (now thinking Hmm re: the last part...not on my life).

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Original poster
embarassedone · 05/10/2010 23:19

PS tempertemper, thanks very much for the advice.

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