Just got back from holiday.
Went to bathroom.
Lifted toilet lid.
Found about 5 long, pinkish-brown worms wriggling around in the water.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How long have they been there? Whose bum did they come from? Was it the venison burgers? The sushi? The turkey twizzlers and Fruit Shoots? (Headline: Fruit Shoots' Evil Bum Worms Kill Mum of Two, Robinsons Deny Murder)
I do feel rather ill.
So. Is it me? DH? DS? Neither of us has any symptoms. Except that now I'm hyperconscious of every little sound/ movement in my belly.
Have made appointment with GP for next week but until then I feel rather wan and in need of support!
ALSO I'm a breastfeeding mama, so my mind is doing yet more gymnastic leaps of the imagination: Ifeelsicknow is hugely infected with massive 100 foot long tapeworm which can only be destroyed with nuclear bomb, forced to stop breastfeeding so as to not inadvertently pass on radiation sickness to DD, DD refuses to take milk from bottle and becomes horribly dehydrated and malnourished, contrary to all expectations Ifeelsicknow FAILS TO SURVIVE NHS nuclear bomb treatment and dies horrible death, leaving DD with no source of precious liquid gold mama milk and so she wastes away, DH and DS die of broken hearts, etc etc).
Good god I am never this melodramatic. Somebody slap me.
Have namechanged to preserve my dignity. Please don't try to guess who I am.