Worried about my DP

[Jazmyn]

We just had our first DS 10 weeks ago and last week DP was diagnosed with gout and after a few check ups he's been told he also has high blood pressure ("190 over something" he told me.... no idea about blood pressure... is that bad? how bad?)

I'm now really worried, there's a history of heart attacks in the men of their family at a young age as well as type 2 diabetes. DP is now 32, he's put on a lot of weight in the last year (we both have but I've been pregnant!) but he is a sugar-a-holic, he sneaks sweets, chocolate, ice cream into the house and will sit and eat and eat ..... he also sometimes even has a second dinner after I've gone to bed.

I cook very healthily, almost no premade food lots of vegetables and although DP is a meat eater I only cook vegetarian at home (I am vege). He hardly drinks alcohol at all and gave up smoking a year ago (he says this is why he now eats so much). We arent very active at the moment but that really needs to change, we want to go out and do stuff together but it has to be an activity we can take along DS with!

I'm really really worried.... any advice on how to get him to change his habits? What is good for me to feed him to lower blood pressure that will keep him full up but still help him loose weight??

I feel awful as before I met him he was skinny, fitter and didnt eat as much although he was a heavy smoker.... he stopped smoking for me when I moved in with him. I feel like I've caused these problems, the gout and the high blood pressure are probably both caused by the large weight gain over the past year. :(

He is an adult, he needs to take responsibility for his health and his lifestyle. This is not your fault. Giving up smoking is a good thing to do, now he needs to decide, with the help of his doctors, how to deal with his self inflicted health problems.

He may well have psychological problems that have contributed to his eating to excess, but that isn't your fault. He needs professional help. IMO

Top of the normal range for BP is 140/90. Bear in mind though that you need several readings over a period of time to get a fully reliable one, as a lot of people find just being at the doctors puts their bp up temporarily. At least if his BP is high, finding out and treating it will reduce the risk, and hopefully if he shifts the excess weight that will help a lot

I was in a similarish position to your DH at the end of last year - 5 stone overweight, high cholesterol, borderline high BP. In terms of turning things round - I changed my diet completely, have tried to increase exercise with erm mixed results and took the prescribed medication for the cholesterol. In terms of getting him to change his habits - that has to come from him. Equally - yes, it's hard to give up smoking, but as an adult, it's him who has eaten all the junk food, not you shoving it down his throat as he slept.

In terms of what to feed him - from the high blood pressure point of view - generally try and cut down on saturated fats and trans fats, and avoid adding salt to food. Wholegrains are better than white for rice/pasta/bread. Porridge is good for cholesterol (because of the oats). If he misses meat, I would consider having him eat lean cuts of meat at home again, as high protein food can be more satisfying than veg I'm afraid!

In terms of activity - a brisk walk pushing the pram will do fine, as long as it's aerobic exercise that gets you feeling slightly puffed out, it's doing you good.

I do broadly agree with 3littlefrogs - particularly as you have a ten week baby - he as an adult is perfectly capable of getting the necessary info himself, the practice nurse should be able to talk to him in more depth about dietary changes, I had a very useful talk with the practice nurse.

Yes he does need to take responsibility but also I need to know how to deal with it with regards to what to cook as he doesnt "do" cooking.... not if we want edible food anyway!!

I might try the meat suggestion though although the smell of it does make me feel slightly queezy and I've no idea how to cook meat.... any suggestions for lean, non smelly easy to cook type meat?

is fish any easier for you to deal with?

I am quite lazy, so have things like pre-cooked sliced chicken breast in sandwiches/salads. If I was cooking I would have low fat sausages or do a beef casserole in tomato sauce with lower fat braising steak (would fry up at start with small amount of olive oil) or would just stick a chicken leg in the oven to bake and take the skin off to eat it.

with fish I would bake it or put in the microwave. salmon/trout/cod/haddock do fine just plain or with a bit of lemon juice.

oh the british heart foundation and heart uk (it's the cholesterol charity) have lots of useful info on their website.

basic information about diet:-

www.cks.nhs.uk/patient_information_leaflet/blood_pressure_high#-463045