Smear - so scared

[teahouse]

I know this sounds pathetic as I'm a middle-aged woman but I have been recalled for a smear (had an abnormal result) and just can't cope with the thought of another test.

My last smear was done recently under a general during an op - before that it during a previous op 13 years ago.

I was sexually assulted when I was 19 by a doctor (long story but was never told I was having an internal - just told to lie down with my knees bent, then found a hand inside me). Ever since I have had big problems with smears; have panic attacks whenever I've tried having one and even the thought of them makes me very panicky.

I tried hypnosis many years ago but it didn't work...can anyone help me figure out how I can get through this (the test is scheduled for my birthday next year). I'm a single parent so have no-one to help me.

I know it's unlikely I have cancer but I also know I must follow up on the test just in case.

There are some specialists who see women for counselling and are also trained to do cervical screening. I think the physicians working in GU (genito-urinary medicine) clinics have usually had pyschosexual training. If you are able to dicuss the subject with a practice nurse or GP, they hopefully will be able to refer to you someone as above who will be able to help you. I work in screening and I'm sure staff I've met from these areas mentioned their training.

You did really well to go for your screening test and yes, it is important to go back for your follow-up. I hope you get the support you need. :)

You might be able to get it done 'properly' at the colposcopy clinic which is probably based at your local hospital. When I have colposcopies it's always done by 2 nurses (usually both females, one to chat one to examine, sometimes the consultant does it) and they are more reasurring and the procedure is more comfortable than a smear.

Have word with one of the nurses or a female GP and explain why you need someone sympathetic to do it for you.

You're not pathetic at all!
Can you have a chat to a GP or nurse you trust?

In a similar situation some years ago a lovely GP prescribed me a single dose of diazepam and did the smear herself rather than getting a nurse to do it.

I would strongly suggest going to someone who does lots of screening tests to actually have it taken - this doesn't always mean a GP, as they tend to see fewer women for having the test done.
As meglet said, colposcopy might be a place to go. It depends on how the environment you're in plus the people dealing with you are going to affect you.
I've had colposcopy as well as working in the screening programme (in the lab) and the first time was a difficult procedure but the staff were lovely. The second time (somewhere else) was uncomfortable in terms of set-up, staff attitude and less satisfactory.
Both times the colposcopists were men.

Time with someone being put at ease and taking your (dis)comfort into consideration is really important and I think you need to be allowed to assess which situation and people will help you best.