my friends mother has throat cancer

[SomeKindofWonderful]

she was dx about 1 month ago, maybe a bit longer? It has spread to her lymph glands, and she is having a course of chemotherapy before she starts 6wks of intense radiotherapy, treatment has started, but delayed as she is poorly.

I am going to ask an impossible question. does throat cancer have a good prognosis? what about if it has spread to the lymph glands? I wondered if the spreading was to some extent inevitable given the location of the tumour.

I feel desperately for my friend. I want to support her as best as I can. I would absolutely not in a million years tell her if it was not likely to be curable (if there is such thing with cancer) but feel I would like to maybe have some understanding of what she might be facing and support her through whatever the future is going to hold.

My own mum passed away due to a different type of cancer, which was terminal from the outset pretty much, so I never had any real expection (although had some hope/wish) of recovery. But my friend's mother does.

ok, fair enough, not really a lighthearted friday night top eh?

Sounds very sad for your friend SomeKindofWonderful. I have no idea about any of your questions, but hope someone will be along soon. Sounds like you are a great friend.

maam all I can do it be there for her I know that really. But I am finding it so hard to not be able to do something for her. I just wish I knew what that something could be. I am calling her a lot to ask how she is, and how her mum is, letting her know I am there.

Thing is, I think she feels she has to be positive around me, even if she isn't feeling so, because of my mum's illness. Another friend stupidly said to her something along the lines of 'this must be hard for xxx because of her mum', i could have slapped her!!!

But she can be honest with me, I am here, and she does not need to be brave or strong or anything around me if she does not want to. Maybe I should just tell her.

maam also meant to say that is good positive story about your DHs dad. & years is a good time for remission. Did it come back after that time or did it stay away?

maam she has a feeding tube, i think because swallowing is so painful, also because she has lots of ulcers.

She does not live locally, her mum. She has not been to see her for a while, I am a bit concerned she is avoiding going home, but can't really push her to go, just offering suggestions for some of the issues she comes up with.

Her and her mother are very very close, emotionally.

maam it has all happened quite quickly, and she is relatively young. She is not much older than 50.

Not sure if her current state of unwell is due to the illness itself, or response to treatment. She was in all other aspects fit and healthy at time of dx. in fact, when i last saw her not a few weeks before, she looked good. She did not feel unwell, just had lump and it was a bit awkward to swallow.

7years is a good time though, that is a good result for cancer isn't it? remission is 2 years isn't it?