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Original poster

Help, they're hairy!![shock]

35 replies

jollymum · 30/08/2005 14:23

Thought that would get a response! My 10 yr old girl has really hairy legs. Any ideas, ladies? She's blondish but the hairs are dark,she has them on her legs thickish upto to her knees and under her arms as well. Not boob developed at all really yet, but I know she gets teased at school about it. I was bullied dreadfully (all girls posh school) and have suffered ever since with this problem. No swimming for me Am thinking of having a second mortgage and being lasered top to toe. Would change my life, believe me! Anyway, my little girl dry shaved her legs without me knowing. I only discovered this when she had a whopping great spot on her leg, ingrown hair and felt them all prickly. She was very embarrassed, especially as she has three brothers and said she only did it dry shave because I wouldn't do anything for her! Help with ideas, please

OP posts:

chloe55 · 30/08/2005 14:29

Ah poor girl. She is obviously very upset about all the teasing if she is going to extreme measures of dry shaving. I will probably be frowned upon for saying this but I think that you should show dd how to shave properly and tell her that she can only do it when you are with her. That way she won't go behind your back and do anything rash and at least she will be learning to shave the correct way. TBH I think I was about 11, poss 12 when I started shaving too so I guess she is not that much younger.

nailpolish · 30/08/2005 14:31

thats such a shame. i hate to see young children embarrassed like that, poor lamb

i think shaving is too harsh, i would help her with veet, for sensitive skin.

Enid · 30/08/2005 14:31

take her to a salon and have them waxed properly.

jampots · 30/08/2005 14:31

my friends dd has had to start using veet on her legs (aged 8) because of this. My dd (12) has also used it.

expatinscotland · 30/08/2005 14:32

I shaved at 10. I was in ballet, and body hair was a big NO NO. I was having regular waxes at 13. They're not bad if you use Emla about an hour before your appointment.

I'd show her how to shave properly and if she's got hairy arms arrange a wax or laser.

LilacLotus · 30/08/2005 14:33

i agree with chloe55, show her how it's done. i dry shaved for years as no one told me how it was really supposed to be done or buy her a ladyshave, so that she can use it safely on her own.

Lizzylou · 30/08/2005 14:36

My Mom took me to have my legs waxed and I wish I'd stuck with it as my legs would be practically bare now...

nailpolish · 30/08/2005 14:36

enid, i was going to say wax too, but i wasnt sure if she would be too young (although i know children younger than 10 do it)

some salons have special packages for young girls, maybe you could go together

frogs · 30/08/2005 14:51

My dd1 has had hairy legs since she was about 6 (she's 10 now), so we've had plenty of time to work out a strategy! She also has adult size 6 feet (!) and glasses (with an eyepatch for a while), all of which are essentially the same problem in different guises.

I think there are three separate issues worth dealing with.

The body image thing. I've made a point of letting my dd know that everybody has things they don't like about their body, whether it's nose, boobs, hair, legs or whatever, and that often it's pretty subjective, so not everybody is looking at her thinking, "OMG what hairy legs" or "What a big nose" or whatever. This is to try an nip in the bud that teen/preteen self-loathing, OMG I'm such a freak thing.
Peer pressure. It's worth pointing out that however you look, there will be some smartarse somewhere (probably in a classroom nearby) who can make a daft comment about it. If you flag this up in advance, they can recognise it for what it is rather than taking it personally.
The beauty angle. Hairy legs is one of the easier problems to deal with, frankly. No surgery, no pills, no invasive treatments. I've let dd1 know since she first started moaning about her legs that adult women have this problem too, and that there are ways of dealing with it. I have said I'd prefer her not to start shaving/immacing just yet, but that when she feels she really needs to, she should ask me and I'll sort something out for her. She's under strict instructions not to touch the razor or the creams without asking me first. I think waxing is probably above the pain threshold of most 10y-olds.

I think the big thing is to keep it neutral, explain there are ways of dealing with it. And keep pointing out that everybody has defects, so you can either waste your life getting paranoid about them, or deal with it as you see fit and move on.

saadia · 30/08/2005 14:51

I would go for waxing or if anywhere near you does it, sugaring. Apparently they do sugaring on young girls in Arab countries and very early on the hair just stops growing. I know she's very young, but I had this problem too and it really was a blight on my growing up years.

beehive · 30/08/2005 15:02

both my dd's (now aged 10) both have dark and noticeable hairs on their legs and upper lip.

we use a hair removing cream for sensitive skin and it's fine, even though one of my daughets hs very sensitive skin.

we turn it into a pamper session now and might put a bit of clear nail polish on, or some really nice moisturiser. None of them seem to mind doing it and it is stictly a 'no boys allowed' moment (also have two d's)

I noticed that they were both hairy a long time before they did, but didn't say anything. I waited for it to be an issue that they wanted to raise and then it was action stations!

try the cream first imo, i would be a bit worried about waxing at this age?

Lakota · 30/08/2005 15:02

I was bullied about this when I was 11 and had started secondary school (in primary school we all wore long socks, but this became hopelessly uncool once we went to secondary and rolling them down was de rigeur!) - having never given my legs a second thought I was mortified and ended up ripping my legs apart with an old bic disposable I found in the bathroom. My mum noticed, and I was later bought me a ladyshave. If you're uncomfortable about her waxing so young, or messing about with blades, I reckon this is the best bet.

Our school later allowed girls to wear trousers as part of our uniform - is this an option? Also, woolly tights once it gets colder - still my saviour!

Hope all works out...

fqueenzebra · 30/08/2005 15:05

Reading this thread is very depressing, especially to the feminist in me. I don't shave my legs now and never will, it's a horrible thing to feel you have to do. I don't have a problem with any woman having hairy legs. How Awful that we live in a society where a 10 year old girl has to share her legs or get bullied. So much for childhood, eh?

nailpolish · 30/08/2005 15:08

i disagree, i dont think its depressing at all, lots of good tips here, especially beehives post, and its natural to want to look and feel nice

my opinion though

fqueenzebra · 30/08/2005 15:13

Why should women have to shave their legs? They don't smell if hairy (unlike armpits). Most of all, why should a primary school age child have to shave her legs or else she won't fit in.

That's simply awful.

chloe55 · 30/08/2005 15:13

I see where you are coming from fqueen but unfortunately hairy legs on women (and girls to an extent) is simply not attractive to MOST people. We are a culture where less hair on women is better and this is obviously going to spread down to the younger girls too through magazines/tv/friends etc, it's just all part and parcel of growing up. I think the pampering session is a great idea and will give you quality time with dd too.

swedishmum · 30/08/2005 15:22

This thread has been really helpful to me - nice to know my 11 year old is not alone. She wouldn't wear shorts this summer and prefers long skirts. Was considering raising the issue before she starts secondary school next week as she's the only one going from her primary and want to make life there as easy as possible for her.
She gets more embarrassed as she has younger siblings who are still at the giggling at rude bits stage!!
Thanks for the ideas I've got from this.

Lakota · 30/08/2005 15:32

It is depressing - but there'll always be something to be teased about and I think at this age it's kinder and easier to allow her to fit in without taking the (otherwise justifiable) feminist angle.

BTW - I believe women in ancient Egypt shaved their body hair too, as did the romans - they saw it as symbolic of youth and beauty. It's not just perpetuated by VEET and magazines!

frogs · 30/08/2005 15:50

But fqz, no girl has to shave her legs, any more than an adult woman does. But part of growing up is to learn that some kinds of behaviours are more socially acceptable than others, and that we have to make choices about the extent to which we want to fit in with that. I actually agree with you in principle, but feel I have to help my dd1 to deal with the world she actually lives in, not to force her to suffer for my principles.

i've gone out of my way not to tell her she should shave her legs. But I wouldn't tell her she shouldn't, either. I've explained the available options, with their downsides, and so far she's chosen not to shave or immac, which I'm pleased about. She deals with it partly by toughing it out, and partly by wearing knee socks and trousers. That is the choice she has made, on the basis of knowing all the available options. Surely that's empowerment?

yoyo · 30/08/2005 16:37

Don't use VEET without doing the patch test first. I ended up in hospital at the beginning of the Summer with a severe allergic reaction despite having used it for years. No scarring thankfully but possibly because I acted quite quickly.

I had very hairy legs as a child (still do) and used a Ladyshave from about 13 years. Didn't care about lower legs but had particularly hairy upper legs and bikini line and found swimming a really humiliating experience. I was very good at athletics and could not get away with trackie bottoms so started to shave my legs then. I will tell my DDs what they can do but stress that they do nothing without telling me first.

(Frogs - didn't realise you were around. Good Summer?)

Chocol8 · 30/08/2005 18:52

Poor luv, I was teased about this about 30 years ago - some things never change!

I got hold of the type of razor where you screw a razor blade into the little cream holder and did my legs when I was about 16. The holder unscrewed whilst I was shaving and I was left with a dirty great razor wound up the back of my calf (with hairs sticking out of it). It was so deep and wouldn't stop bleeding so I told my Mum and she bandaged it and I was made to wear woollen tights under a long skirt on a very hot day to an interview! Not nice.

Veet (or similar) is a very good idea - I used to use those silky mitts which remove all the hair, they still sell them in some chemists.

NannyL · 30/08/2005 18:56

i would agree that waxing is beyond the pain threahold of most 10 year olds!

I tried it again a few months ago at a salon, and OMG the pain!

there is no way i WOULD ever put myself threw it again.... i do have a very high pain threshold BTW.... been through LOTS of V painful stuff!

daisy1999 · 30/08/2005 19:01

If your dd has a problem with it I agree you should help her. If it's bothering her then she's not too young to shave or wax or whatever. It would be awful if she was bullied, teased or if it stopped her enjoying the normal things in life like wearing shorts socks on a summer day.
Gosh isn't growing up horrible!

expatinscotland · 30/08/2005 19:03

I like the idea of the Ladyshaver. Could make a day out of it - how she's growing up so fast - and maybe take her for a lunch or something.

Nixz · 30/08/2005 19:27

Sorry if im repeating but i havent read all the replies.
I would use the veet system with the rubber shaver thingy! (sorry dunno what its called) but you smooth the cream on and then you the shaver thing to wipe it off. Dead easy and no blades at all.
If it makes her feel much more confident then i dont see any reason why she shouldnt use it xx

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