Just need to talk about my mum....

[purplefish]

I have been out for the evening and come back to DS1 saying I needed to call my sister asap. Called her and she has told me that our mother has probably got breast cancer

She found a lump 3 months ago but only went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago. Has had the tests today and needs to wait for results, but doctor and consultant have both said it is very likely to be cancer.

I don't really know why i am typing this, I guess i just want to talk, get it out.

My mum and I don't have a close relationship (long story going back to my childhood) but we get along ok (as in don't argue etc) I just feel sick for her. She must be terrified.

She's only 57 btw

Oh Purple

Do you live near each other? Or do you feel able to call her tomorrow to talk?

Get it out on here, it'll help

No, she lives 2 hours away, which i was always glad about and now feel terrible for thinking like that. My sister lives near her though and while their relationship is pretty much the same, she will be there for her. I am going to call her in the morning (mum that is) and try to be very positive about it. I think it's best to be positive, I know i would find it hard if everyone was being all doom and gloom.

I'm really sorry for your mum and you.

Hard to say, but stay postive, there's a lot they can do. Def try and see her asap - it'll make you both feel better being able to hug her.

I'm trying cupcakes Just feeling a bit panicky atm.

I will definately be positive with her and have also been with my sister ie told her hospitals always give worst case scenario etc. Now just spoken to DH (he is away) and feel very tearful.

It makes you really review your life doesn't it!

Hello Purplefish.......please try not to worry to much until you get the diagnosis, have they done a ct scan? If it is breast cancer then hopefully it has not spread. I know the panic as my husband was diagnosed with bowel /liver cancer in 2008, it has now spread to his lungs but as awful as the treatment has been he is still here, we have 12yr old triplets so its been hard. I am on a forum on the Macmillen website, it has been my life line. I pray that it won`t be as bad as you are thinking. xx

Thankyou triplet. I have been MNing for quite a number of years and have always admired your strength.

They haven't CT'd yet, but it has been mentioned along with Chemo etc, but the results aren't back yet so we will have to wait to see. I haven't spoken to mum about it yet as it was 11 by the time I spoke to my sister, but my sister says mum is being calm about it and didn't tell us because she didn't want to worry us. It makes me worry about what she isn't telling us iyswim. Sister asked her how big the lump was and didn't get an answer. Anyway, will call her in the morning and have a chat.

Also worrying about dad as he idolises mum and is apparently being very quiet. He had a massive heart attack 4 yrs ago and while he recovered well, he still isn't in the best of health. I don't think he will cope well if it is cnacerous.

Anyway, i must go to bed as I am sure my small people will be up at the crack of dawn!

Thankyou everyone x

Spoken to mum this morning and she seems incredibly calm about it! Not sure if that is really how she feels or if it's just so we don't worry. I have also spoken to a friend whose sister was diagnosed 3 months or so ago and she has been a great help.

purplefish I was diagnosed with BC two years ago,(age 48) and if there is anything you want to ask about procedures etc. please do. If its any help I can give you the order in which I had various things done.

After biopsy results,breast surgery where they remove the sentinel lymph nodes also and test.
Mine had spread to nodes, so I had CT and Bone scan. Then further lymph node clear out.

I had chemo, radiotherapy and herceptin, - it can be tough going but it is doable, BC is a very treatable disease these days, and once you get over the horrible shock of diagnosis and get onto your treatment, you get into a routines and you cope. There's loads of help and support out there for patients and families.

There is a BC thread (the Tamoxifen thread) where we gather and share tips and support each other (as well as chatting about everyday stuff, to keep life 'normal'). - you would be very welcome there as of course would your mum if she is an internet type person.

Very good luck to you all, it is a big thing, but people do come out the other end

Thankyou so much Kurri. It helps to have information from 'real' people as opposed to googling (which I have avoided so far)

The thing I am most worried about atm is that she has said she has been having stomach problems ie diahorrea (sp?) in the mornings, and has felt unwell for a couple of months.

She isn't an internet type of person, but I will pass on any useful information