colostomy bag - multiple questions, really...

[ReasonableDoubt]

Wondering if anyone could offer any words of wisdom.

Ten years ago, my dad collapsed at work and was rushed to hospital. He was found to have severe adhesions (resulting from an appendix operation in his twenties) that were 'strangling' his internal organs. He underwent an operation to remove them, and recovered well, but three years later he collapsed again in severe pain and was found to have the same problem. He had part of bowel removed in this second operation. He recovered well, but has had very bad diarrohea and a very sensitive digestive system ever since. He has other health problems - pernicious anaemia + carpal tunnel syndrome and a prolapsed disc in his back from years of hard labouring work - and his health has generally detriorated as he aged (he is now 61), but he has been in generally OK health otherwise (sounds odd, but I mean, he has been active and able to lead a fairly normal life).

Last week he collapsed again and wa rushed to hospital. He had some scans and the doctors couldnt see anything worrying, so sent him home 48 hours later. He collapsed again 24 hrs later and was riushed back to hospital. He has very low blood pressure and is in pain (in his abdomen). He had an endoscopy this mornin and the consultant is coming to speak about his results tomorrow morning. It all sounds quite ominous. The registrar said he may have to have a colostomy bag fitted permanently, but that the consultant would tell him more tomorrow.

I feel devastated and very worried for him. What does this all mean for him? He lives in Ireland, and I am planning on getting over there at some point very soon (flights are £300 at the moment, and we have a holiday booked next week which we will lose £3,000 on if we cancel - so just trying to work on when best to go). Will he be able to lead an independent life with this bag?

I am really worried that the hospital aren't taking this seriously, too. When he had the second operation in 2003, he almost died, and I am worried that they will just send him home again (he lives alone in a very rural area) and he will collapse again and die . Do you think it is time that we started talking about other options for him - that he come and live with us, for instance? I am just so worried and unsure about what to do next.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

My brother had an ileostomy which works the same kind of way. It is perfectly possible to live an independent life with one once you learn to deal with it. I don't know how it works in Ireland but my brother was appointed a stoma nurse to support him with it and has free prescriptions.

It is worth pressuring the hospital for very regular community nursing visits when he first recovers from surgery if he lives alone.

Yes, you can definately lead an independent life with a colostomy bag, but it takes a while to get used to caring for it and learning how to adjust your diet to suit.

It sounds like he will need to eat well, and the pernicious anaemia and diarrhoea suggest he may have some issues absorbing the nutrients from his diet, supplements may help with this.

Don't know about the Irish health system but in UK you get free prescriptions for everything if you have a stoma.

It might improve his quality of life tbh, obv will depend on the diagnosis for this current problem is though.

He may need some support, it can be quite challenging in terms of body image, sometimes even grieving type reaction to something like this. hth

My mother had a Colostomy back in 1985, she's 80 now. She put it off for so long, at her worst she weighed about 6 stone, had white skin and white hair from root to tip.
As a 14 year old I sat at her hospital beside preparing myself for the worst.
Finally she gave in and had the op. It was a learning curve maintaning herself and she felt very concious infront of my father but she soon got used to it...and look 25 years later a son-in-law and 3 grandchildren she probably would never have seen.

My mum had this operation a few years ago. It was a big one and a big eye opener being in the ward afterwards. It was full of a lot of very young people going through the same operation (some in their twenties).

It's quite a common operation in later life as my mum has now found out. She carries on with life as normal now.

I have a permanent colostomy bag. Mine is due to cancer and I was 40.

I live a full, normal independent life. I have to make some changes to the way I do things but there's not a lot that's forbidden. I swim several times a week and have two small children.

Modern bags don't smell and rarely leak.

Of course it's not something you would choose but it's not an insurmountable problem. Frequent irritations and annoyances, yes. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't the case but definitely stuff you can get on with.

Try ostomyland.

My DH had a temporary ileostomy bag and tbh, he nearly kept it. You learn to adapt in whatever way is best.

I had one in my early twenties and it didn't stop me living life fully (in fact it took away both my illness, the fear of the illness, gave me perspective on my body image and actually improved my life). The reasons I reversed it were mostly to do with dating and the internal pouch seemed easier. However, if anything happened to my pouch now I'm 33 and married I wouldn't mind having the bag back. I met so many support people when I was having the operation (it even turned out a glamorous woman who lived two doors down from me had one) and they were very much a diverse section of the population. I was even listed some famous people with them (not fair to name them here) but included an olympic athlete.

I don't think it is as serious as you are thinking it will be, it is nowhere near as bad as living with a life-threatening condition. I would take your cue from him though as he might be embarrassed, and don't act like it is devastating or disgusting or anything as he will pick up on it and think you find him disgusting. All you need to do is treat it as a relief, finally no needing to worry about bowel problems, pain and collapsing.