I'm pretty much a newbie in the world of ADs as I've only been on them 9 weeks (Citalopram for anxiety/depression). For about years and years (but especially last 5 years post-kids) I've felt very stressed/irritable/on edge/low but just felt everyone felt pretty much that way. Felt it was just me and that my default setting was just a bit of a miserable pessimistic glass half full person. Thought that there was nothing anyone could do really, just had to get through it. Came to a head over something relatively minor in grand scheme of things and I found I just crumbled.
Went to GP...I didn't want to take ADs (felt like ultimate defeat), so she referred me for cognitive behavioural therapy counselling (took 4 weeks to come through - not too bad timewise...but she also gave me private practice numbers in case I wanted to go quicker and pay). Felt worse so went back and asked for medication. Took it. And its been nothing short of miraculous for me. Honestly, its been like a switch has gone on in my head. I didn't realise how bad I was day to day until I didn't feel that way anymore. Its been completely life changing. My DH is really happy too - he'd gently suggested I do something on and off for years - I've gone from snapping at him 3-4 times a day to maybe once a week (and he usually deserves it then!).
On the mental health board there's a post called something like 'Starting Citalopram positive stories please' - you could try that - lots of positive stories there about people starting ADs. (I don't know whether Citalopram is mostly for anxiety/depression and there are maybe better ones for depression?)
My GPs (saw different ones) were very caring and compassionate. Listened to my fairly common or garden issues and didn't just tell me to buck up. Didn't force anything on me. Went very much at a pace I was comfortable with - always reassuring me that if I needed anything to come straight back. They've been brilliant.
First 2 days I felt more jittery than before but did notice an improvement in my mood almost straight away. Could've been placebo effect seeing as I was so relieved that I was doing something about it for the first wee while? Found myself smiling and looking forward to stuff. Took things in my stride. Just feels like it reset my default setting to neutral/happy. Things that I would've found stressful before have happened and I've not been stressed or irritable. Don't feel like I'm just getting through the days. Feel like I'm living them. As I say I noticed this it felt from very early on, certainly a week or two in I felt a different person. And that's continued.
Side effects for me were fairly minimal and easily copeable with and passed - more sleepy, weird mouth feeling, not hungry. But my insomnia has pretty much gone - can fall asleep and stay asleep every night.
I have been doing the counselling (online course) and that's been good too to equip me with tools to cope with things I find difficult with ADs and hopefully without when that time comes. But the ADs have made the most difference.
Good Luck to you and your DH (and sorry for the super long post..)