DH ill, alcohol related. Doctor not doing much, advice needed.

[awfultime]

My DH has an alcohol problem and has done for many years. Now he is being sick twice a day. (for the last 5 weeks) He has attended the GP who has referred him to an alcohol programme. They can't see him for another 2 weeks.
If someone is being constantly sick shouldn't the GP be more concerned? Also there is now blood in the vomit but Gp says this is because the membranes are rupturing. DH says he has not eaten for a week now

I realise that DH may be lying as he lies a lot to me. We are living separately because of these issues and by coincidence the vomitting started at the same time .
Also he is here now to see the DC and I'm sure I smelt drink on him.

Should I worry or just let him get on with it? As he has been to his doctor I'm not sure what else he can to. Any advice would be useful, thanks.

I think he should go to A&E, tbh.

Is he still drinking?

yes I would put money on him still drinking.
I will suggest A&E but he is stubborn.

I agree that he needs to go to A&E, it's important that he's checked over.

Honestly, it sounds like advanced liver disease. If you can't get him to A & E I think that there's nothing you can do.

Thanks for your replies.
His liver function was tested within the last year and although it was higher than average it was not at a critical stage. I guess there is the chance that it could have detoriated quite quickly?

Agree go to A&E I have stomach problems which means a lot of vomiting and I regularly vomit blood but it is damage from being sick [tearing of membranes] and the rule is more then a teaspoon of blood requires a hosp visit immediately, it may speed up a referral or he could be kept in an obs unit which will help him. I am sorry that ye are all going through this but at least he has asked for help so a step in the right direction.
Good on you for stepping away, look after yourself and your dc

Thanks Buzzybb.
TBH the relief of not living with him day to day is huge

I always find when you go to drs you need to be quite specific what you want done, eg referral, tests etc.
Coz if you go and say you feel ill, they might say take a paracetamol and stop drinking (or similar).

I don't think you should assume that he told the doctor the truth and/or that he's telling you the truth about what the doctor told him. Alcoholics lie about their drinking. It's just what they do.

The best place for him to be in is hospital for a medically supervised detox. A&E is the fastest way of achieving this. But if he doesn't want to go then you have to realise that he's an adult making his own choices. You cannot force an alcoholic to do anything about his or her drinking.

My ex died of a massive GI bleed caused by years of alcoholism.
I have also seen young alcoholics die suddenly in the same way.
If you are a normal, kind person then worrying about it is something you won't be able to stop doing, but there realy isn't anything else you can do.

Back again, thanks for more replies.
R&P, sorry about your Ex.

Just broached the subject of A&E and he didn't dismiss it out of hand but said that is not what A&E is for. I pointed out they might admit him to a ward where he would get looked at.

He says he has told the doctor everything but I am well aware of how easily he lies.
To be honest he looks remarkably healthy for someone who has not eaten in a week and there is a definite smell of drink on him. This is what years of living with him has turned me into - suspicious

Blood in vomit needs seeing and sorting urgently, particularly on the background of alcoholism. Could potentially be quite nasty and deteriorate quickly.

A&E or out of hours GP.

I would also be suspicious as to whether has told his GP the whole truth- vomiting blood should ring alarm bells and be referred for urgent endoscopy or even admission.

My alcoholic ex has detoxed in hospital a number of times. As far as I am aware every time she has she's got there via A&E. And occasionally an ambulance. I'd be somewhat surprised if many people detoxing in hospital got there any other way, to be honest.

I don't think you can stop worrying. But I do think you need to let go of trying to influence his actions here. He's an adult. He knows what services are available to him. If he chooses not to employ them then it is his right to make that decision for himself. And it is your right to decide whether you want to get involved in his drinking problems or to leave that side of his life to him to deal with.

You didn't cause his alcoholism.
You cannot control his drinking for him.
You cannot cure his alcoholism.

Have you considered attending an Al-Anon meeting?

Thanks again for replying.

I know he has to be responsible for himself; I know I can't cure this for him. If he truly is getting help then this is the biggest step he is taking in a long time.

I have considered Al Anon but never actually got there. Now that he is not living with us I am feeling stronger and feel this is the right course of action. I will bear it in mind though.

Awfultime, my DH is a recovering alcoholic, and he has had in the past symptoms such as the ones you describe. Going without food for extended periods of time for an alcoholic is pretty do-able... after all, booze is an excellent fuel.

The bleeding is quite likely to come from his aesophagus. Alcoholics can develop varicose veins there that get more and more sore the more they drink (it acts as an irritant). When these veins bleed, the blood goes down to the stomach where it cannot be easily digested and is eventually thrown up. Not plesant - mixture of stomach acid (which further irritates the aesophagus), blood and alcohol.

He may be reluctant to go to A&E because he is scared as to where he'll get his next alcohol fix from. If the A&E team are advised immediately of his condition, they'll look to medicate him (with librium, typically) so that they minimise any chance of DTs, especially if it looks like he'll be admitted. A librium reducing regime will be implemented whilst they deal with what's wrong with him and if you work with the doctors you can tie back-to-back with the residential detox he's been offered by his GP.

I'm really sorry you are having such a rotten time, it's very difficult and you feel there's nothing helpful or practical you can do. I second Snorbs comments and do recommend you go to Al-Anon.

Even if he is now not living with you and your DC, he is in your lives. The better you can ground yourself and help yourself, the more prepared you'll be to help your kids - they will need it regardsless of the outcome of this situation.

i don't want to worry you but a friend of mine was alcohol dependant and started getting stomach aches and occasional sickness. He then started being sick pretty much daily and bringing up blood. He carried on drinking and he ended up dying one morning from a severe internal bleed. My mother also alcohol dependant ended up in hospital after bringing up blood - luckily for her they managed to stop her bleeding that time but she still carries on drinking too.

Apparentl the alcohol makes the blood thinner and therefore they bleed much more easily and for longer.

Your DH should really go back to the docs and explain he is still drinking and bringing up blood - he needs to be in hospital

There is not much a doctor can do if a drunk is still drinking.

A&E can sort things out short term, patching up bleeds etc, but I suspect your husband's GP doesn't want to waste his time prescribing drugs that won't be taken properly and giving advice that will be ignored the minute a Wetherspoon's hoves into view.

Thank you to the last posters and the info, I really appreciate the time you took to post.
Blushingm, sorry about your friend and your mum also as it must be a big worry for you.
Snowiebear, glad that your DH has managed to get a grip on his addiction.

H has decided to move his stuff out (was just existing on a few spare bits of clothes) when we are away for a few days. He asked if it was really over and I said yes, mainly because he has put drinking first for a long time. He agreed and says he wants to change. I said it wasn't enough and if he is going to change he has to do it for himself and not for me because that is not going to fix our broken marriage.
Very sad but still feels like the right thing to do .
Healthwise, I've done all I can, hope it is enough.

So sorry to hear about what you are going through. It is a massive strain having an alcoholic partner. I really feel for you and will be thinking of you. Fingers crossed he sorts himself out and there isn't too much damage to his health. I would echo the advice of getting medical attention if he is throwing up blood. It's not a good sign at all.