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Genealogy
Original poster

Mum lied about her age all her life.

26 replies

swedishmum · 20/08/2008 22:42

Dh was telling dad how he's looking into family tree. Dad says mum was 2 years older than he thought - he never realised until he found her birth cerificate after she died. She lied when she got married - perhapas as she was a couple of years older than him. He only told us tonight (in case we discovered while researching) - I find it really odd especially as she was really straight and religious and I was always heavily punished for lying ( "God knows when you lie - I'll never be able to trust you again / if your father knew you'd lied it would kill him etc). Never let anyone see her passport because of the photo. They were married 49 years and dad never knew.
Anyone else found this or is it just me with a strange mother?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 20/08/2008 22:44

How long after her parents were married was she born......perhaps she was hiding that?

Ledodgy · 20/08/2008 22:45

My friend works in the job centre and the other week an old woman came in with her birth certificate as she realised she was 82 and not 76 as she had thought! We can only think she must at some point have lied about her age and then it stuck!

Heated · 20/08/2008 22:46

it's strange what they choose to hide

I found out my mother had been married before, when my grandmother oh so innocently decided to show us a family photograph album and there was my mum in full wedding gear standing next to a man that wasn't my dad . My mother was furious.

harpomarx · 20/08/2008 22:51

actually, I don't know how old my mum is! I think she hides it a bit, doesn't outright lie but definitely keeps it quiet. She is a couple of years older than my dad I think. Her mum was quite a bit older than my mum's stepdad and I think she either lied or kept it quiet. So it seems perfectly normal to me - although I guess keeping it from her husband was strange and lying when she got married (don't you have to show birth certificate when you get married?)

wotulookinat · 20/08/2008 22:58

My dad doesn't know how old he is. He came over here a child in the war with no paperwork. And my parents have been lying to my brother his whole life about how long they have been married. He is a year older than me and my mum was pregnant with him when they got married. He thinks they have been married a year longer than they actually have. I found out by accident and have never had the heart to tell him!

LittleBella · 20/08/2008 22:59

`My grandmother did this.

I think they genuinely forget after a few years

I also know someone who told her DH she was 4 years younger than him, but she was 4 years older. He didn't find out until they emigrated to Australia and needed to produce birth certificates etc. 8 years!!!

Hecate · 20/08/2008 23:09

my parents tell everyone they got married 10 months before I was born. They actually married 3 years after I was born. Why they lie is beyond me. (They don't know I know. I only found out when I tried to get a copy of their marriage certificate as an anniversary gift for them. Imagine my surprise!!)

But lies are a big part of the whole family tbh. Fraud, bigamy, abandonment..According to national records, my great grandparents (the names and stuff) don't exist etc etc.

AnyFuleKno · 20/08/2008 23:11

Imagine thinking you're 76 then finding out you're really 82! That must put a bit of a tarnish on the rest of your day.

Original poster
swedishmum · 20/08/2008 23:12

It's not to do with her parents' marriage - just checked and they'd been married 2 years before her real birth. Apparently she'd told the hospital her real age as when she died they said to dad she was 79 and he insisted she was 77.
Maybe it's not so unusual. She married quite late for then - 31 - and had me at 38. Fancy keeping it quiet all your life! I think it's just so odd as she was always taking the moral high ground.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 20/08/2008 23:13

my mil lied about her name!she told me about 9 months before she passed away aged 79.i told dh family but they didnt really believe me till death certificate.they made a joke of it at crem service.

FAQ · 20/08/2008 23:14

when I met DP 3 months ago he told me as soon as we got talking that he was 45, not a glimmer of doubt about it.

Then I found out his DOB - and had to explain to him that he was actually 44 - he'd just got stuck in his head that he's 45 this year (tomorrow actually as it happens) so had been telling people he was 45 lol

Original poster
swedishmum · 20/08/2008 23:15

She was a vicar's wife with a theology degree!

OP posts:
Original poster
swedishmum · 20/08/2008 23:16

FAQ my bil did that - was looking forward to a 40h birthday bash till he realised he would only be 39!

OP posts:
ilovemydog · 20/08/2008 23:16

I think one can forgive a couple of years... ]

thumbwitch · 20/08/2008 23:20

Harpo. no, you don't need your birth certificate to get married, just a passport will do. Just as well really as I have no clue where my birth cert is! And I got married last year.

edam · 20/08/2008 23:23

Your MIL was not alone - my grandmother apparently did exactly the same thing!

zippitippitoes · 20/08/2008 23:31

my bf thought i was 47 when we met but i was actually 50

he now undoubtedly knows i am 51 as i gave him passport to look after while i wandered around the duty frees at the airport a few weeks ago

but he hasnt said anything

beanieb · 20/08/2008 23:40

So she was 18 when she married but said she was 20. Weird.

Does she have siblings you could ask?

ghosty · 20/08/2008 23:46

DH was about 27 when he found out that he was at his parents' wedding. His godmother was pissed and told him what a well behaved baby he was at the time ... He was a bit shocked that they lied about it and couldn't understand it ...
We knew MIL was the second wife (DH has 3 older half siblings) but what we found out was that MIL was FIL's bit on the side and he was still married to (and living with) his first wife when MIL got up the duff with DH . That was hard for DH to deal with.
FIL is now on Wife #3

Katisha · 20/08/2008 23:46

If I was going to keep up a concerted lie about my age I'd knock more than 2 years off.
Hardly seems worth it!

zippitippitoes · 20/08/2008 23:50

maybe katisha

but it depends why

in the case of op did you have to be 21 to marry without prents consent

i think it sounds a lot different if you are near a 0 birthday

i wasnt planning on having an ltr btw

and definitely not one with someone a lot yopunger so it kind of did end up making me anxious when it wasnt intended to really matter

suedonim · 20/08/2008 23:51

I'm concerned about this poor 76/82yo lady being in a Job Centre. Surely she's not still working at that age!

zippitippitoes · 20/08/2008 23:52

lol dont they help with tax forms

zippitippitoes · 20/08/2008 23:54

im starting to feel like some kind of elder pontificating on old age and young sex while smoking a hookah and authorising the ceremonial killing of a pig for prodigal sons

thishappenedtome · 20/08/2008 23:55

zippitippitoes, you may be on to something. What was the legal age for marriage then?

Or perhaps she met him really young and lied from the start. When did they first meet?