Am I wasting my time trying to unravel this?

[canthavetoomanylights]

My grandmother was born in the East End of London towards the end of the 1800s. It was actually in Poplar (of Call the Midwife fame) and I know from her and my mum she lived through times of dreadful poverty.
Her name was very common, with many possible variations. Families moved often due to their circumstances. There were lots of labourers and mariners in the area with the same or similar names.

A lot of the population were illiterate (my gran was) and spellings seem rather random.
So it feels impossible to know anything with any certainty.
I should add I’m new to this and feeling a bit disheartened. Would appreciate any thoughts.

@canthavetoomanylights

Do you have your grandmother's Birth, Marriage and Death Certificates, OP?

Can you see her on the 1911 Census and the 1939 Register of England and Wales?

Hello @TheSquareMile. Yes I do. I’m reasonably confident about her parents (because I have found them and because she told me and my mum enough to know I’ve got the right people). Before that though it all feels very vague

Do you know the names of her siblings and her children? If you can't find the person you want in the census, perhaps because their name was misspelled or not what you expect, you can sometimes find another person in the family and go from there.

Agree that you should get her birth cert and her and her parents' marriage certs, if you haven't already. But don't be surprised If age on census doesn't match date of birth.

Also look and see if there are any family baptisms or marriages in the parish registers. (Though a lot of East End registers were destroyed in 1940-41.)

im pretty sure she had siblings who died in infancy.. and her mother died v young. Im also reasonably confident ive found my ggd and his second marriage (although one of the children disappears). Before that… im guessing. There’s so many people with the same names and occupations in the same area

Doesn't always help. For instance, my great granddad has a different first name on his birth certificate and death certificate!

Difficult to advise without knowing what details you have (not asking you to share) but sometimes it helps to find out as much as you can about one person - maybe your ggd - all the addresses he lived at, who he lived with, what work he did - and also come forward and go sideways with siblings - before trying to go further back.

This is a very useful and interesting site - large scale historic street maps, so you can see what the area was like in the past, and see where your ancestors lived:
https://maps.nls.uk/os/25inch-england-and-wales/

I've felt similar OP. There are parts of Wales where everyone is related and has the same name and I felt like giving up. One thing which helped was to look for the sibling or cousin with the most unusual name and focus on them. On the census it helped me to find relatives staying with other relatives or I found them living in the same street. Coming at it from a different angle helped me to narrow down the possibilities.

Do you have their marriage certificate?
What sources are you using ?
Using a combination of several sources you should be able to go back with some confidence.
Happy to help if you want to message me details.

Surprisingly an ancestry dna test was useful to me. It meant that when I got stuck I could build out dna matched trees to find other connections and corroborate my paper research.

I very much agree with this.

It makes a lot of difference having DNA matches that you know are related to you.

If you find people who are your 2nd or 3rd cousins then you know that you and they share great grandparents or great great grandparents.

Ancestry currently have a special offer up until 11th August of half price DNA tests. They regularly have special offers, so if you don't feel like doing it now then just wait until next time they have a special offer.

[EDIT]

"... my ggd and his second marriage (although one of the children disappears)."

This is exactly where a DNA test can help to locate those people and what became of their descendents.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I carried on falling down rabbit holes until the early hours, and have only succeeded in confusing myself even more 🤯😅, and have uncovered another mystery.
Until now I have always thought a DNA test wasn’t for me, but maybe I’m wrong to dismiss the idea.

Yes an ancestry test is very helpful , it identifies maternal and paternal
matches which is very useful.

Ok so I have decided unless there’s some help out there for a family tree addiction, I’m persevering and have ordered a DNA test.. so now I’m excited about that too 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've run aground with one branch of mine living in a large city in about the 1850's who are unfortunately named - yes you've guessed it - Smith. 😂

It's always worthwhile starting a thread of your own and asking for help.

A couple of years ago, a poster asked a question on another person's thread about their 'Smith' ancestors in Leeds in the early 1900s.

"I am not sure if this is the right thread to ask this question but could parents call their children any surname? found this and confused why the children are called Smith. I think the father's parents were not married and mabe he wanted the children named after his biological dad ?"

There were several posters that helped in finding the family and pointed out techniques to use to identify ancestors who have very common surnames.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/genealogy/4876582-how-to-prove-ancestry-is-correct?page=1&reply=133365977

Just to add that My Heritage is offering DNA tests for the month of August at £19.90, if you're feeling flush. This will maximise your chance of getting close matches (third cousin or closer is useful). Though they don't split into maternal/paternal like Ancestry, which is annoying.

You need to build your paper tree too. A DNA test should be used alongside one.

Even if you get DNA matches, don't accept everything on their trees without checking it yourself. There's an awful lot of crap out there, and people just add other people's trees to their own and so the errors are repeated over and over.

I’ve lost a bit of confidence in my work so far, mainly because I look back and think ‘how did I get to that conclusion?!’. So for the time being I’m just going back over things and making more written notes, and generally trying to organise myself better. It’s so easy to get carried away chasing clues.
Thank you so much for your responses

I could suggest some tips for you but you didn't answer my previous post so I don't want to go over old ground.

I’m sorry @corblimeymludi thought I’d answered your questions in another post. Yes I do have it and yes I’m confident until my great grandparents (it gets a little less so before that).
My grandmother was born in 1890 and lived until 1994… by which time I had heard a lot of her stories of her childhood (I’m pretty old myself now). So I already knew a lot and my research has just confirmed a lot of it eg her childhood with a step mother, the constant moving, the workhouse etc. It’s her story that has always fascinated me tbh. Someone who I knew until I was in my 30s had experienced such a different life.
Apologies if I appeared rude or ungrateful; that would never be my intention

@canthavetoomanylights

Are you in a position to visit the area in which she lived, OP?

I could do but she moved away before the war and lived in one place since. I live in that place.
Her childhood home and its area has long since been demolished.

If you have an idea of the address look at the census' that usually takes into account the variations of names
Sometimes you can see the work house registers
Genealogy.com is a good site

Are you in a position to visit the area in which she lived, OP?

The East End/Poplar has changed hugely since the 1940s. OP would be lucky to find any of the houses still standing, or get any sense of what it was like. Google Street View, together with the historic map site I linked to earlier, is a good starting point.