Capturing parents' life stories before it's too late

[TicklishDenimSquid]

Does anyone else feel a quiet urgency to capture their parents' stories before it's too late?

My parents are getting older and they've had a remarkable life — the kind full of stories I've heard bits of over the years but never properly sat down and recorded. I keep thinking I'll do it properly one day, and then life gets in the way.

Recently I decided to actually do something about it. I started looking into how you'd go about turning someone's life story into a proper written memoir — not just a voice note on my phone, but something beautiful I could actually keep and pass down. What I found is that professional biographers charge thousands, and DIY options are either too complicated or produce something that feels a bit flat.

So I'm in the early stages of building something that guides either you and your loved one together, or just a loved one through their life story via a structured interview, then turns it into a properly written memoir. I want to be upfront about that, because I genuinely want to hear from people rather than just pitch at them.

Has anyone here done something like this — recorded a parent's stories in any form? Did they enjoy the process, or did it feel strange to be asked about their life? And is a written memoir something you'd want, or is it more about having the recording itself?

Any thoughts really welcome — I'm still figuring out what people actually need from something like this.

I know of some amazing people who have built something using voice AI to collect the information.

As a celebrant, I regularly sit with families to capture the essence of their loved ones lives…often it’s quite a task, as they remember fragments and memories that are only ‘half’ if that makes sense. This is always a stressful time for them of course, as they’ve just lost someone they loved greatly.

Like you, I’ve often thought that it would be a good idea to have these memories captured before the inevitable end, when grief can hinder the memory.

I am a master at guiding families through the process gently, and can actually get a lot of information, without turning it into what may feel like an interrogation, but it’s still upsetting for the family.

So yes OP, something like you’re describing would be a lovely thing…both as a keepsake for the family, and to support them with the funeral arrangements after their loss.

We always intended to do this for my father but the prospect of writing it down was too daunting. In the end, we set up a kind of interview with him, which we videoed on an iPad. It was a mix of him chatting about things he specifically wanted recorded for posterity but actually turned into more of a conversation, with us asking questions or for more details. So, we covered things like how his parents met, their family experiences during the blitz, his first wage packet, how much their first house cost, games they played as children and so forth. It’s also been useful since, as we doing more work on the family tree and some of the anecdotes have given us useful information for that.
We then made copies of the recordings (in chapters) and he gave copies to all the grandchildren for the last Christmas before he died.
I suppose some would say this was quite an amateurish effort and I’m sure there are better ways of doing it in terms of apps/software (this was around 8 years ago) but we were finding that the more ambitious we attempted to be, the more daunting the task and we kept putting it off.
It’s such a lovely memento now.
Oh, and on a separate note, I’d advise labelling any old family photos you have with people’s names that he/they know but you don’t!

Oh, and on a separate note, I’d advise labelling any old family photos you have with people’s names that he/they know but you don’t!

Yes, I was coming on to say that!

My 102-year-old great-aunt gave me some family photos recently, including one of her wedding photos that had my late mum in it as a baby. We pore over the family tree together & she tells me what she remembers - there are some great stories & it makes her very happy to be passing it all on. Like me, she’s childfree so I’m the descendant she’s closest to.

I don’t know if my niece or nephew or younger cousins will ever want to know but it means a lot to both of us.

There is a good R4 programme about Jonathan Freedland and his desert island discs for his sister who died young of cancer https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/dec/19/for-record-jonathan-freedland-sisters-desert-island-discs

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06shzhp#:~:text=A%20lifelong%20listener%20to%20Radio,died%2C%20Jonathan%20fulfilled%20Fiona's%20wish.

Sound engineer neighbour recommended buying a lavalier set of microphones with one adaptor so it all goes into same socket and an extension cable for one microphone so we aren’t squashed up together. This was sub £50 on Amazon. Definitely keep tissues handy .
My loose topics were:

1. song that reminds you of your parents’ families
2. school days/moving to U.K. 3)first music that you bought/chose
3. song that reminds you of your first job
4. song that reminds you of meeting mum
5. London life 7)kids born
6. moving up to village
7. retirement adventures
8. grandchildren

There are companies that offer this service - where they send you a few links and you record the answer, and it’s turned into a video. We bought it for my FIL but unfortunately he never did it before he passed. It’s a great idea but it does require the person to cooperate in doing it.

Lurking

This is all really interesting feedback and really motivating, It would make me so happy to be able to provide people with the chance to capture such cherished stories as well as for myself.

Its quite a tricky subject to broach given how personal it could be and of course nothing would beat sitting down with your parents or loved ones and interviewing them yourself, but if that wasent an option, (this isent a pitch) would a service be of interest at all where a loved one was interviewed over somthing like zoom, or via an app, or even by a family member who was aided with prompts for questions to ask?

And again, I was thinking what I would like to preserve the most, and for my own parents I think its their voice, and their stories, so an audiobook and a physical book, would that be of interest at all?

Anyway, its really great to hear people comments and Id love to know that if a product or service was available would people be interested and if not what would their reservations be!

Like I said, it does exist. We bought it for my FIL, and there were a few options to choose from, so this isn’t a novel concept. Will find out the name of the one we chose in the end.