How did you record your family history?

[Arlanymor]

So we’ve been doing a bit of soul searching lately. My aunt died in January, leaving my mum and dad the oldest surviving members of both sides of the family. I’m planning on trying to capture some key memories of their past - a quick chat about the war made me realise that I had totally misplaced a story my mum told me when I was little - the fallibility of memory. I can just record them on my iPhone of course. But I was wondering if people had done those before and could suggest particular approaches and software please? We’re ordinary people, nothing flash. Just recording what our two branches of the family got up to as far as we can remember back. Thank you.

À Dictaphone! Just asking leading questions about people and places, where they lived and when.

I think my iPhone works just as well as a dictaphone though? Dragon software? Yes absolutely right about leading questions. I think I need to come up with some that weave them through their life experience. For example I didn’t know my dad took the army entrance exam until I dated someone from the army and my dad said that he got thrown out of the classroom for leaning back on his chair and breaking it and they said he had no discipline! Interestingly my dad has lots of discipline but only for stuff that makes sense to him!

Yes sorry I suppose an I phone would work the same. That’s what I’ve used.
ha that’s so funny about your dad, I completely agree - you will find things out you didn’t know! My mum swore blue murder my grandfather didn’t serve in the war but I knew he did because I spoke to my grandmother!

Oh we have a big family myth I need to get to the bottom of. My dad said he nearly went to prison because he was the getaway driver for a group that tried to blow up a reservoir damn because it was a drought in Wales and all the water was going to England. My dad has upheld this story forever but told me not to say it to my grandmother because she had another son in prison and he didn’t want to upset her (uncle Eddie stole cookers - how is that even a thing?!) My mum contests that he was never involved - he’s a bloody bad driver for a start, who would ever choose him to be a getaway driver?! And that he overheard the arrangements in a pub and then fantasised about being part of the gang. Honestly! This man is 80 now! So we need to talk some truths! I’m seeing them in Sunday and I have a nice mircrophone too (because I plan on doing a totally different podcast later this year) so will float the idea with them. My dad will love the idea of hearing his own voice, but only about the stories he wants to tell! My mum will be searingly honest and sentimental. I know my old folks quite well!

That sounds fabulous! If you have access to Ancestry, try and back up the stories with facts as people forget all the right details! I hope you get lots of juicy stories from your dad!

So true! I am fairly sure my mum has an account as ironically uncle Eddie (he of the cooker stealing!) did a lot of genealogy searching and tracked a lot back. Thanks so much for your lovely wishes, as they are getting older I am realising how much of history might disappear. My mum’s side is everywhere - massive family, also very wacky woo (used ouija boards and told fortunes with playing cards) - but my dad’s were business people but very little to say for his side of the family.

Do bear in mind that 'recollections may vary'. 😂

You could also find that they recount other stories which were handed down to them verbally by older relatives, and of course what they were told may have been a highly edited version.

My lovely late MIL was told by her GM that some distant aunt was from a named landed gentry family, but despite trying for many years she never ever managed to get to the bottom of that one, and then she passed, but I will try and follow it up one day.

We have meticulous and detailed research for my father's side of the family. It's a relatively common Norman surname that settled in a few areas of the UK. So we can link to a particular craftsman in the 19th century and his lineage and to it being the same craft as an original Norman settler. But it's mostly servants and coal miners.

With my mother's side it's more like the OP. Post War black sheep with East End London connections no one has ever proven that are probably implausible. We did manage to make a firm link to a fay cousin that emigrated to the US and worked in Hollywood.

It is interesting and getting their stories down is helpful. It's more fun than trawling through Ancestry etc. My DS did a primary school project and my late father filled in the chronology of losing his parents in the 1940s and being nearly in the war as a wartime RAF apprentice. He'd not spoken about it until then, but revealed much once he'd opened up to DS.

How sad for your dad. We have a Norman surname but ours is very unusual so easy to track it!

Ours is a well known Norman name in a few parts of the UK - mostly Midlands and South West. It's almost unknown in South East and in the days when life admin was conducted by telephone or face to face nobody could spell it. There were 2 families in the phonebook where I grew up in the 80s. Weirdly, both had the same first initial.

I am writing a 'family history' (pen and paper) of things I remember being told by various relatives as well as my own personal memories of those people. I'm adding photographs where possible and my husband is adding the 'details' (hatched, matched, despatched etc!) but his research goes way back through several centuries, though it has revealed some interesting (and some distressing) details.

We have a Norman surname too! Came over with the conquest and appears in the first doomsday book.

I am still laughing at ‘accounts may vary’… reminded me that my dad swears blind that were related to Dic Penderyn (or Richard Lewis if you go by his birth certificate.) There is zero evidence to support this… we don’t share a name, we’re not from Merthyr or Aberavon. But he swears we are somehow related!

How funny! We are also in the Doomsday book!! Maybe our relatives fought together…

Ancestry DNA has been great for me. Confirmed so much.
Have done a full on tree going back many generations.
Now I am starting to put it all into booklet form
Look up old newspaper articles.
Label photos so that future generations will know.
The folders I am doing, Are through “Family Tree Notebooks”
I wish I had asked my grandparents questions about their parents, grandparents, and about life growing up.
Lucky Enough to have an aunty live to 96. She filled me in a bit.

Sorry that I'm a bit late replying to this.

"Yes absolutely right about leading questions. I think I need to come up with some that weave them through their life experience."

A good way I found of coming up with leading questions was to find out what I could about family members from the likes of Ancestry and then ask my parents about those things (for context, my parents are in their 80s).

A couple of examples, I came across records on Ancestry that suggested that my mum's older cousin got pregnant at 15, very quickly married to a US airman, lied about her age and was then one of the first US war brides to be transported to America after the war.

I then just popped into the conversation with my mum one time "Oh, do you remember having a cousin Xxxx at all? Did she get married?"

That brought it all back and she began telling me her recollections of her cousin and what had happened (that was largely consistent with the records I had already seen) and other family stories. My mum was only six when her cousin got married but she remembered the cousin's fiance (the US airman) and another coming to visit one time and taking the time to play with her - she was very impressed by their uniforms.

All of that was sparked by just knowing there was a story there and mentioning a name.

Another example, I found out that my dad's maternal grandfather fought in World War One right from the start in August 1914 in France and then Salonika until 1919. For some reason, he didn't get his campaign medals until 1939.

So, I asked my dad if he ever remembered anything about his grandfather and had he been in the army. Again, this got my dad talking and remembering things about his grandfather and also stories that he had heard about his grandfather when he (my dad) was young.

Leading questions (especially when you know that there is a story there) really can help a lot.

In terms of capturing stories about their lives, make sure you back-up/download any recordings you make on your phone.

There are 'life story' books - you could get one and use it to prompt you with questions.

Maybe a series of themed interviews 🤔 What family members were around when he was growing up and stories about them, who did he live with, what was the house like. Then school - where was it, how did he get there, what teachers can he remember, what subjects was he good or bad at, how did school discipline kids, what did he get in trouble for, who was he friends with, what where the playground games, did he have school dinners.
Family holidays
Pets
First job
First girlfriend
Meeting your mum

And if you think you might want to go down the family tree route, definitely get the names and relationships of as many family members as you can. And dig out all the old photos and put names to them.

I started recording my own family history after realizing how easily stories get lost over time. Using an iPhone is perfect for casual recordings, and honestly, just having a conversation and letting it flow naturally works best.

For organizing everything and even adding older documents or photos, I’ve used MyHeritage https://myheritage.pissedconsumer.com/review.html and it’s been really handy. You can upload audio, attach it to family tree entries, and even connect with distant relatives who might have more stories.

MIL very kindly wrote a memoir of her early life and memories. Perhaps you could ask relatives to do similar?