On Ancestry - People not replying to emails.

[LadyEloise1]

I'm helping dh discover who his biological family is.
He had been give a name for his bio dad but wasn't 100% sure it was accurate.
On Ancestry lots of matches for his mother's side which was great and was proof the records were correct - not always a given, sadly.
On his paternal side there wasn't a close match.
He emailed in October 2020 someone who might be a match on his paternal side, with family names. She was the closest match to him who didn't appear to be related to his mother's family.
She never replied.
It has meant over a year not knowing who his Dad is.
Luckily in the past few days he has received an even closer match which has clarified everything for him.
It's great.
He is delighted.
He knows who he is.
Where he is from.
His background.
His ancestors.
But he could have had that information over a year ago if that person he messaged had replied to him.
We know there may be perfectly legitimate reasons why the person didn't reply.
They may have died, been ill, not received the 3 or 4 emails etc but it is frustrating.
Rant over.
All's well that ends well.

I have been looking for my dad for years but no close matches yet. I do think some people register and after the result never look again or have possibly changed their e mail. I have had some replies months later . Maybe the enquiry opened a can of worms they didn’t want to persue. It could have been a shock .

Yes it's frustrating but it happens all the time. There are loads of reasons why people might not answer emails - they lose interest in genealogy, change their email address, only ever did the test for the ethnicity estimate, etc etc etc.

If you click on the person's name it will show their account profile and how long it is since they last logged into Ancestry. My strongest DNA match hasn;t logged in for over 2 years.

I totally understand your frustration but you can't force people to engage with you if they don;t want to.

I understand the upset but really, come on. There could be any number of reasons that the email wasn’t even seen in the first place, let alone ignored.
I’m glad your husband now feels he knows who he is, and has got the answers he needed.

@MrsTimRiggins
We acknowledge we were being unreasonable
But in the circumstances you can understand why.
It's great it's sorted.

I see this complaint a lot, but I think the only line to take is that everyone has the right not to reply.

There's not a chance I would reply to that email.

I'm glad he's found out more now though.

No Nevis obliged to reply to any email from a stranger. Lots of good reasons why they wouldn't. I think you need to change your expectations- if a person replies, it's a bonus

No one (sorry)

Or people signed up years ago with an email they use for junk/spam and so never check the emails?
Many reasons for not replying.

I think often people have a burst of enthusiasm about family history which wanes, so interest and subscription may lapse. If he was asking about living or recently living relatives it can be too awkward or even painful to discuss so they ignore or are reticent.

My dads second cousins haven't responded to any of my emails . I just shrug as it's their decision. It's hard when someone may have some knowledge to help you - it looks like mine knew something key - but it's their loss.
I'll happily share their tree which has taken me over 20 yrs to research if they get in touch.

It's unfortunate but I'm glad it ended well.

I'll give you my positive story.
I joined a similar site and sent off my DNA last summer. I matched with a paternal first cousin who emigrated to Australia when we were around 5 or 6, we played together as children. She had meant to cancel her subscription but forgot so when I emailed, she was notified. She instantly messaged me and within days we were FaceTiming. There was a load of family skeletons that we immediately aired and put to bed.

All these years she had school photos of herself before she left, along with a set of me and my sister and had kept them together.
We are all in our 50s but are in daily contact now. The connection is amazing and it's like having a long lost sister, we're planning a trip to Australia as soon as we can

That's lovely @marriednotdead

Loads of people don't reply. I just assume people won't now so it's a bonus if they do. Some even give you a private email address and then still don't reply. But that's balanced by some really helpful people.

I've had a few replies but have far more unanswered ones tbh. It is galling that folk are more interested in ethnicity estimates which mean zilch in reality than real life potential relatives...

Slightly late to the party but I get frustrated by the same thing. DM did DNA test and came back with close matches for an extremely unusual name. I've messaged all eight of them, got one reply saying "you'd be better off talking to my mum" but failing to give her contact details !

I've been trying to work out who my grandad's real father was for forty years and I think they might be the key ☹️

Don't give up hope @TwoBlondes.
DH was at the end of his tether. He just wanted clarification that yes the father he was told was his father, was actually his father.
It took longer than he had hoped but he knows now and is delighted.
The clarification came from another member who joined more recently and was actually a closer match than the woman who never replied.
🤞 you get the information.
Let us know on here if you do. It will be exciting for you.