Adopted from Malaysia, finding birth parents

[Peoniesandcats]

I was adopted from Malaysia back in 1986 and there is no paperwork. I'm interested in finding out about my birth parents and that side of my life. I've signed up to Ancestry DNA but can anyone recommend other similar sites where maybe it's more popular in Asia? Feels like the only way I'll be able to get any information at the moment. Thanks

Do your adoptive parents kjow you are doing this? Maybe they can help. Why is there no paperwork?

Yes I've been asking my adoptive family but no-one knows or remembers anything (which is strange in itself!) Mum has dementia so haven't been able to get any info.

They are listed as my parents on my birth certificate but it's not true, they paid and brought me back from Malaysia. Seems adoption was a much different process around that time... !

Makes it much more difficult, almost seems impossible but wondering if anyone else has been through anything similar?

You've posted on an ideal topic thread but perhaps you could post on the adoption thread as some people might have some knowledge there.

Ancestry DNA is the biggest one: I think 18 million DNA customers. 23andMe are second biggest with 12 million. Both with vast majority of customers in US.
I have found 23andMe's ancestry report very accurate for SE Asian ancestry, particularly since their last updates.
Hopefully you'll have some matches they are not too distant.

It sounds as though what you really need is an adoption consultant in Malaysia, with knowledge of the processes m the eighties. There might be agency or orphanage records or someone who remembers your adoptive parents and could point you in the right direction. Do you have much budget?

I have no clue, but bumping

Thanks all, no real budget for this. Maybe I'll try 23andme as a start then consider a consultant later down the line. Will have a read through the other similar forums too.

Are your parents still alive?

Your parents must have some memories about who the agency were or how they got the official paperwork to make the adoption legal, where they met you, etc. Start with that info and tracing who kept what records in Malaysia.

Friend was adopted in Vietnam about 1975 & never got far with tracing relatives, but that was a crazy time & place.

I’d recommend testing with 23andme as they don’t accept uploads. If you’ve already tested with Ancestry, you can download your dna and upload to Living DNA, My Heritage and Family Tree DNA. I’d advise joining some Facebook groups if you haven’t done so already. There’s search squad, dna detectives, genealogy squad, to name just three. I agree though that I think you you’re likely to get further by trying to obtain records. It might be worth asking family/family friends to see what they remember. And is there definitely no paperwork? Nothing shoved in a box somewhere? Any memory or scrap of paper could hold valuable information . I really really hope you find what you’re looking for.

I'd start with good old google and Facebook. There is a documentary about baby selling/adoption for example that I remember watching when I was living in Australia. There must be websites and support groups for people in similar situations as your own.

I'd also speak to any family and friends who might be able to remember any details about what happened at the time.

Do your parents have Malaysian heritage?

If you are on Facebook Id also recommend joining dna detectives. This group was started by genetic genealogist Cece Moore and its members help others find their family through dna. This would require some reasonably strong matches though, so i really hope you'll get some.

Hi. Have you had any luck in the entire process? I'm interested in communicating further. Cheers!

@Saggitarius5011 you might need to try an @ to get the OP's attention

OK this is something I do know a bit about - for anyone else reading and @Peoniesandcats .

The best site to test with is Ancestry. This is for two reasons - first, they have the biggest database and so you are more likely to get matches. Secondly, they allow you to extract your raw DNA file (which is just a list of numbers) and then upload it to other sites like MyHeritage, FamilyTreeDNA, GedMatch etc. Ancestry do not allow to test with other sites and then upload to them. 23andMe has traditionally been more popular for health testing only - do you have a gene which makes you more likely to develop X condition. It has a stronger north American database but if you are looking for relatives in SE Asia might not be that useful.

Few other points which I have learned the hard way.... You might not have any success at all. Some communities are much keener on DNA testing than others. Australia, North America - lots of people who know that originally their relatives came from somewhere else embraced DNA testing. British people aren't so keen, especially those with a white British background whose grandparents were all British born and there is no suspicion that further back other people came from overseas. So I tested a few years ago and got hardly any matches despite my granddad on the paternal side being on of 11 and his father being one of 15(!!). I have hundreds of second cousins but only far more distant matches. So you might not get any answers.

Also when you DO get matches, you then have to start building family trees to work out how everyone fits together. This is really hard when you have two unknown parents, easier when you have an unknown father and can just hone in on the matches which you don't recognise as being on your mother's side. Building trees also means looking at records of birth/death/marriage, census and other official records and these are not so widely available for SE Asia as they are for Europe and N America.

I think you need specialist help here, a genealogist who specialises in SE Asia, or a Facebook group for people adopted from there. There is also a site called MyPreciseDNA which appears to be based in Malaysia, but I don't know it to comment one way or another.

Hey there,

This might be really late, but I too am adopted from Malaysia. Was wondering how have you been and how did you go?

Hi! I signed up to 23andme and had some more dna matches but still very distant. So not much luck here. Are you going down the same route with trying to find relatives?

Ive never met someone else adopted from Malaysia, do you have much info about where you are from there?

I've purchased a DNA test from Ancestry but I haven't used it yet hahaha. Apparently I was adopted in Sarawak. Likely my biological family is from Kuching. My adoptive parents told me I'm from the Bidayuh tribe? How about you? What did you get from your test?

Let me know if you find out anything interesting once/if you do the test! I was adopted from Serdang near KL. The person who gave me to my adoptive parents said I have a couple of sisters.