Finding information about my adoption, where do I start?

[Doseydots]

In was adopted in 1975 after my mum committed suicide. According to my parents who adopted me, nobody knew who my father was. I have often wanted to know more about my past but I am not sure where to start. 16 years ago I did manage to get hold of the coroners notes from my mum's death from the registery office. I got quite spooked out after reading them as I was living over the road from where she died. I couldn't bring myself to find out anymore.

I still wonder though but I don't know where to start finding out information. Would social services have information?

My parents have always told me about being adopted but I sometimes feel they are not telling me the whole story.

So you know who your biological mother was? And the circumstances of your adoption? There is some information on the government website about getting your file and it will all hinge on when in 1975 you were adopted, it seems,

www.gov.uk/adoption-records

Social services may be able to help, it's certainly worth a call/email to the team at the council involved to see what they can suggest. I would definitely advise counselling through this, it is a lot to take on.

As for your father - well there is always the possibility of a DNA test if there's nothing on your social services file and I'm assuming he's not on the birth certificate? A test with a big company like Ancestry can throw up matches with other family members like cousins, second cousins, or more distantly, and coupled with a bit of family history research can help you work out who he was.

But - and it's a massive but - you have to be mentally prepared and strong enough for the possible consequences. He might be dead, he might not want to know you, he might have a whole other family... endless possibilities. I'm not saying don't do it, but in your position i'd be trying to work through the story of your adoption and what happened to your mum before going down that route. Do you have good support from relatives/partner to work through all this stuff?

Thank you so much for your reply. I have been told that my mum was split up from her husband and other children when she had me with another man. Her postnal depression led her to suicide. I was put in a children's home where my mum and dad first fostered me then adopted me.

I don't really mind not knowing about my birth father, I would just like more information about my mum and her other children. I am not sure when in 1975 I was adopted - I just know I was two years old.

I will have a look at the government website and see how I get on.

If you know your mother's name and maybe some other information age / dob / place of birth - not necessarily all of those, it might be possible to find other relatives / grandparents etc by searching for birth / marriage records etc. I am happy to help you with this if you want to PM me.