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Genealogy

Help please with DNA match question

51 replies

Swashbuckled · 02/01/2021 22:25

Hi geneologists!
I’m thinking about ordering an Ancestry test kit and would be very grateful to know if you think it would be the right tool, given what I’m interested in finding out.
I’d like to know who my grandfather was. We know nothing about him, although there have been some vague and thin rumours in terms of first name and family type. Of course, these also may not be true. His identity was a well/guarded family secret and those few who knew his identity have now died.
I’ve been reading the posts on the forum with regard to not trusting the accuracy of published family trees. I don’t really want to compile a family tree; at least, that’s not my primary interest. I just want to find out who he was and if I have living relatives through him. Would I be able to do that just through DNA matches coming up? Or would it still entail me going through historical documents etc.
Please ask if I’m not being clear. This is all new to me so I’m aware I may not be articulating things well.
Hope you can help...🙂

OP posts:
Swashbuckled · 20/04/2021 19:56

Well, I’ve logged on and activated it with the code. Was a little excited.

However.
I then found the test status progress report.
I submitted my sample on 3rd January. They received the sample on 4th February. Says sample processing is in progress. (Actually it doesn’t; the blue line hasn’t reached that bit yet. It’s between sample received and samples processing.) It seems the DNA is not yet extracted, nor analysed, so no results. To think I paid extra for Covid shipping!

Looks like it’s sitting on a shelf somewhere under a load of parcels.... How disappointing Sad

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 25/04/2021 10:37

I'd say Covid19 has impacted the speed at which you get the results back *@Swashbuckled.
*

What we've found with dh results is that we messaged people trying to find a familial link and they didn't reply.
It was really frustrating for dh who was trying to authenticate his paternal line.
Not many of his family appear to have done Ancestry.

Swashbuckled · 25/04/2021 11:34

Yes, I’m beginning to think this all might be in vain.

I’m also imagining that only the very dedicated maintain their subscriptions for ever, and wonder if they then stop receiving messages?

I might end up being one of those people too if nothing comes of it...

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 25/04/2021 12:12

Keep your hopes up.
DH got answers- it was really helpful.
The delay is no doubt due to Covid19.

BingBongToTheMoon · 25/04/2021 12:20

If that was you just activating the code, they won’t have started processing it yet.
I sent mine on January 3rd and got my results on February 8th.

Swashbuckled · 25/04/2021 12:28

@BingBongToTheMoon

If that was you just activating the code, they won’t have started processing it yet. I sent mine on January 3rd and got my results on February 8th.
Really? So I’ve caused this delay myself...

Bloody hell; feel like a total idiot now ConfusedGrin

OP posts:
sylbunny · 25/04/2021 12:39

Did you use Ancestry.co.uk? They are very well known and reliable company so I'd give them a call if I was you.

FYI - I don't pay for anything as far as subscriptions go and I've had emails with matches ever since I did it. I think the subscription is for the family tree building side of it.

BingBongToTheMoon · 25/04/2021 12:39

Yeah, sorry. You might have another good few weeks to wait yet. Oh and you don’t get results through the post (well, you might not). I got mine via my ancestry account and email, but then I’ve had an Ancestry account for years.

Swashbuckled · 25/04/2021 12:55

Thanks for your all your help; I feel such a plonker...

Good to know re the subscription side for things as it’s matches I’m hoping for more than anything.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 28/04/2021 15:51

I really hope you hear soon @Swashbuckled.

I've been looking for some relatives and been completely blindsided by the discovery that it appears my uncle has married someone with a completely different name to what I know her as!

GrimDamnFanjo · 28/04/2021 15:57

The wait is so frustrating. Fingers crossed you will get some news soon.

LadyEloise · 26/05/2021 11:21

@Swashbuckled
Did you get anything back yet ?

LadyEloise · 07/06/2021 16:15

@Swashbuckled
Surely you have got back DNA information by now ? 🤞

Swashbuckled · 07/06/2021 20:38

Sorry; I have been away, taking things in and dealing with some other stuff. Yes, I have my results. Feels nice that you’re still interested 🙂.

Those of you who suggested I need my mother to do a DNA test were right. I have a lot of DNA connections on my father’s side and one of his relatives with a big tree contacted me and gave me access to it.

I have no clear connections on my mother’s side. I have a first (or half first) cousin that showed in my DNA links. He’s my closest link DNA wise. I don’t recognise the name and I wrote to him. I’m assuming he could be from my mothers side (although, who knows...) but he hasn’t written back. He doesn’t have a tree and he hasn’t checked his account for a long time.

My mother grew up believing she came from two Jewish lines; her actual biological father (unknown) and also her grandfather who raised her as his daughter. My DNA test showed no Jewish ancestry. I don’t know whether I should tell her this, but I’d also like her to do the test.....It’s also been a strange thing to take in myself.

So sorry to have been late to update you. Still not sure what to make of it all. Thanks for prompting me too 🙂

OP posts:
Swashbuckled · 07/06/2021 21:09

Just to explain the grandfather/father thing...

My mother had an older sister who was fifteen years older than her. She believes her sister was her mother. Sister went on to live her life leaving mother to be raised by grandparents, believing they were her parents (until she worked things out).

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 08/06/2021 00:19

Thank you for the update. Hope you get the answers you are looking for.

ThatsMe123 · 09/06/2021 17:14

@Swashbuckled A (half) first cousin match is absolutely brilliant! How do you know he's on your mum's side? Did i miss that she tested? It can be really tricky to match up cousins to the with the branch they belong on on your tree. I'm happy to help you if you want, just send me a PM.

Swashbuckled · 09/06/2021 18:47

Hi @ThatsMe123

Thank you!

No, my mother hasn’t tested and I haven’t told her about all this.

I’m assuming my closest match is on my mother’s side... This was my thinking:

He’s my closest match (8%, 547cm).
My second closest is listed as 1st-2nd cousin at 5%, 379 cm, and has my dad’s surname which is a reasonably unusual one.
My third closest match is listed as 2nd-3rd cousin at 4%, 312cm and has my dad’s mother’s maiden name.
(Someone related to the 2nd match above has shared his extensive tree with me and it includes my dad’s side of the family).

The 1st closest match does not share matches with any of the second and third matches, but does share dna with some of my other matches (wider and extended family) that also don’t have shared dna with the 2nd and 3rd matches. I wondered who they all were.

I have been opening each person’s profile (on the shared matches of my closest match) and clicking for the list of names included in their trees. Some of these matches do have the surname of the man my mother believes was her biological father in their trees, but these names are from quite far back (latest appearance being something like 1906, I seem to remember). Who knows, too...

I have also searched their trees for any listings of my mother’s sister (nothing came up) and my mother’s sister’s mother’s maiden name (nothing either). This was late last night (whilst having a couple of glasses, so my reasoning may have been somewhat flawed) and I will probably continue in this vein tonight.

Am I doing this right; this process of elimination of sorts...?

Great that you’re interested! 😊

OP posts:
ThatsMe123 · 09/06/2021 22:18

Yes. Sounds like you are being very analytical about this! Really detective work despite the units 😁
You are really lucky to have such good matches. Comparing your matches to my own I would think that your unknown match would be either a 1st cousin once removed or a half first cousin. Match 2 and 3 are probably 2nd cousins, no2 being the grandchild of your paternal grandfather's brother, and no3 being grandchild of your paternal grandmother's brother.
If this scenario is correct I would think it incredibly unlikely that your unknown match would not match with either of them, in fact they should have matched with one of them at the same level as thru match with tree, as one of the two sets of great grandparents on your dad's side would also be in their tree.

So I think you are right in assuming the unknown match would be on your mum's side. This would mean that they could be a child of an unknown half sibling of your mum's, if indeed your assumption that your mum's dad is unknown is correct.
Tread carefully, as this is very close and it's very easy to scare people off!

ThatsMe123 · 09/06/2021 22:27

Sorry about the typos..

Woweelibfree · 09/06/2021 22:40

Wow OP this is exciting..!

Keep notes of all your research and tangents..

Keep digging!

Swashbuckled · 10/06/2021 20:34

Thanks; good to know I’m going about it the right way. Yes, I agree with you that he is likely a half first cousin from my mother’s unknown half sibling.

Last night I made another discovery that I feel to be significant.

I’d just been continuing in the same vein. I clicked on the tree names of a 3rd-4th cousin (98cm). She has the surnames (of mother’s ? bio father) in her tree. When I clicked on them I saw the name of the father’s sister who only died a few years ago. Now, his sister had a highly unusual first name; one I’d never heard of. I’ve googled the name and it doesn’t even come up on google; it’s as if it’s made up.

So I’ve messaged her. But she’s not been on the website for 6-12 months, so I may not hear. Feels like a bit of potential progress in the mystery though 🙂

OP posts:
meg70 · 04/07/2021 19:21

I've read advice on other sites to take screenshots of the matches you have, in case they decide to delete their account at some point. Could you get yr dad to test Op? That way you can easily see who is related to him and therefore who is related to yr Mum...or a sibling of yr father? Cousin on that side?

meg70 · 04/07/2021 19:23

Like a previous poster I would be happy to help, have been on ancestry a while now and managed to solve a few mysteries by knowing how the software works. DM me!

SirVixofVixHall · 25/11/2021 20:03

I wonder how you are getting on OP ?
I agree half first cousin, I have the same amount of shared dna with mine.

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