Unmarried mother and 10 children with no father(s)

[Hmmph]

I have been researching my family tree.

I have a lady in it who was not married and had 10 children. None of the children have a father in the birth certificates. They were born either side of 1900 and fairly regularly.

Any ideas what this is??

This is really interesting. Her grandchildren could still be alive

My great great grandmother had 3 illegitimate children. She didn't name her son after her father, which was unexpected as his name went back several generations. I followed a tip from a family history magazine and looked for any men with the child's name....further down the road on a census entry I found him. Married with a family, running a pub. Pretty sure he was the father but of course I will never be able to prove it. The son gave what I think is a totally made up name on his marriage certificate - I can't trace anyone of that name at all - so I assume he didn't want to admit to being illegitimate. I am descended from one of the daughters: she must have been about 7 months pregnant at her wedding, from the date of her first child's birth. Actually I've been quite surprised by having several illegitimate ancestors in the late 18th and through the 19th century so perhaps it was more common than we think!
Long story short - try looking at any unexpected names from the boys. Any men sharing that name in the area on census entries?

What an interesting thread
Can’t wait to hear what else you find out OP
(Sorry I have no help to add)

This is so interesting!

Agree with pp’s that a married man will be involved somewhere.

My grandfather and his siblings were all born out wedlock but with the same father. Their parents eventually married shortly after both the father's parents had died.

His mother was a maid, father was a "gentleman farmer". She was obviously deemed not good enough but theirs sounds like a true love story

This is so interesting! How do you even go about starting to research your family tree?

Is she listed as a spinster?

My thought is that as she was living at home with her parents, then her own father is responsible for the first couple of children. Then later she was involved with an already married man, who couldn't/wouldn't divorce his wife for a variety of reasons.

Don't forget that some people, especially farmers and others living away from major towns and cities, didn't have access to ministers of religion or priests to enable them to marry, so they just lived together. Priests etc had to travel around outlying districts and might only visit once or twice a year to perform marriages/baptisms/etc.

Definitely search for anyone with that unusual name, because naming sons after their father was very common.

Hope you find something as I find family history intriguing. DH's GGP had 4 of their children die within 8 days, ranging in ages from a year old to 10 yrs old....those parents must have been strong people because I can't comprehend what it would be like to lose 4 children within 8 days!! I'm strong-willed but think this would be my undoing.

kimmyst First of all start with your own family and work backwards. I setup a free account on MyHeritage.com although there are others, but I like this as you can work offline as well. Once you start listing a few ancestors, you will notice 'matches' from other people who have those ancestors in their family tree as well. Before accepting these 'matches' make sure it is the same person...check full name (including spelling) date of birth and other details, this (imho) is very important because some families traditionally named generations of people after their ancestors and it's only the DOB (date of birth) that changes for each new person.

BillionGraves.com has photos of gravestones that people have taken, I also like to check 'wanted' photos in my local area for people who might live across country. I only asked one time for 3 x family members buried in close proximity and sure enough someone got in their car, drove to the cemetery and posted photos within 1.5 hrs. It was a cold, rainy Saturday too and I never expected anyone to rush out in that weather but just shows how everyone helps each other.

Findagrave.com is a similar site but headstone photos are not necessarily posted on both sites, so check both. Also check Births/Deaths/Marriages in your country/local area/etc this info is not available for living persons so there might be some blanks in your recent ancestors which can be filled in later.

People aged over 100 yrs are easier to find, when you would expect it would be the opposite. Don't get hung up on finding 'one' person because I've found that by putting them aside I've been able to find info on another family member which may lead back to that original person, so it's been a 'go around in circles' thing...LOL

Even a simple Google search on someone's name may/may not gain some info but you learn as you go. Beware it's addictive and can be time consuming, but very interesting in learning how your ancestors lived....such as the OP's original question here.

Don't be judgemental, but remember life was 'completely' different 100 yrs ago and must have been so difficult at times.

Hope some of this helps?

@StCharlotte- that sounds like he would’ve been disinherited if they’d married. I’m glad they did eventually!

My grandfather was 20 years older than my grandmother when they married. I was looking up new records that are now available online and discovered that he was a widower. My mother says she didn't know this at all. I'm intrigued to see if he had any kids before he married my grandmother or even who his other wife was. I also have copies of family trees that were done up by relatives going back on one side to the 1800s. There was a lot of work put into them because a lot of our historical records were destroyed in a fire during the 1922 Irish Civil War which makes it difficult to find research them. Copies of Wills going back to the 1600s were among the records destroyed.

@Hmmph

She kept all the children and they had her surname. On various census, she is listed as head of the household with all her children and no man. They were fairly poor. She was listed as a domestic servant on one and later as a farmer.

It is very confusing! It doesn’t fit in with anything I thought I knew about those days that a single woman would be clearly bringing up 10 children with no father.

I wondered about prostitution, but she doesn’t seem to have been arrested at all and has kept all the children. She also seems to have been pretty fairly regularly pregnant, which surely wouldn’t go down well with any clients?!

I would love to know who had fathered all these children! No idea how to find out.

It’s probably a ‘common law’ type marriage with a man who was already married.

Eldest son/child has the same name as her own father.

He may be the father of the oldest children if not all of them. It was quite common for an older female child to, er, well take on the mother's 'marital duties' as it was seen as something a man needed.

Another possibility is religion, as someone mentioned not all marriages were recognised legally, right up to the 1990s people not marrying in a church that wasn't C of E had to make arrangements for a registrar to attend or had to have a civil ceremony usually the day before.

There is also the possibility that if they were different faiths, or different denominations then they may not have been able to marry / find someone to marry them, this is more likely in a small village with only one church.

He could have been someone who travelled a lot, possibly not British, marrying a foreigner could mean you lost your own citizenship as a woman.

The other options I think have been covered. One or both of them married to someone else, second family,

Actually I've been quite surprised by having several illegitimate ancestors in the late 18th and through the 19th century so perhaps it was more common than we think!

It was very common for the bride to be pregnant, it was more important that she was fertile than a virgin. There was no pension or social security, your children were your future.

If any of the children married, you could have a look at their marriage certificates and see if they name a father on there. If it was common knowledge who their father was, they may do. Sometimes illegitimate children name their grandfather on their marriage certificate and that doesn't mean he is the father , it's just they don't want to admit their illegitimacy.

A bit more information and some clarification!

Her father died when she was 6 so I have discounted him (phew!). Brothers also appear to have moved away. She lived with her mother until her mother died. About half the children were born before her mother’s death.

I now think she had 13 children. 3 died when they were children. A little confusing as on one census she got some of their ages confused (understandably!) She also has reused a name I think.

She was 22 when the first was born and 44 when the last was born.

There is no one nearby with a matching or similar name to the 2nd child. All the other names appear to be family names.

She had the first 3 or more children Christened in one go when the eldest was 10.

Any ideas?

No father on marriage certificates! And I know at least one of them didn’t know who his father was.

This is so interesting!! I love things like this. It’s quite annoying actually that “Who Do You Think You Are” is only for celebs!

OP are you looking at original scans or just what somebody transcribed?
There is often quite a bit more detail in the census pages.

I spent a week or two looking back at my road of 20 houses over 5 censuses and there do seem to have been a fair number of mistakes made (either by the families themselves or the person completing the form). Crossings out were often informative. If she was a servant/in an hotel it is quite possible that she wasn't even questioned - the butler or hotel manager would have simply scribbled things down.

I also noticed that some families were having children in their late 40's (so presumably adopted, formally or otherwise). Small residential schools for children of the poorhouse were popular at the turn of the century. We had a few of those sorts of places crop up in my town.

OP I really understand why you wouldn't want to, but I would love to have a new genealogy "project" as a distraction. (What I mean is "do tell me her name and DOB").

For budding genealogists on a budget, I think some libraries are letting residents have access to Ancestry.com whilst they remain substantially closed. That might be worth a look.

Do any of you know if they are going to release the 1921 census next year?

Do keep posting updates OP.

What about the hotel she worked in? it couldn't have been far away, a clue there?

My mum does genealogy - I’ll ask her if she has any hints

I have this in my family tree with my great grandmother, albeit she only had 2 Before she got married and had more with her husband.
It was definitely more common than people like to think, but the main difference seems to be that the children took their mother’s surname rather than their father’s.

It’s like how the Scottish clan system works-the clan comes down the mother’s side as you might not know who the father was but you’d always know who the mother was

My great grandmother was a prostitute, quite a famed one apparently, she was also married and had 7 children allegedly to him, but how would she know? They all ended up in care with Barbados eventually

Banardos!!

Fascinating story. Have you considered some kind of gene test - I don't know exactly how they work, but a relative of mine did this and managed to track down the likely father of my grandfather - based on finding a previously unknown relative in Australia, who had also posted on an ancestry site. Worth looking into?

You might need dna for this one. With ancestry I found my Northampton ggg grandad with the dna.

He lived in a town next to them. Was her age. They worked together. He was a Mormon and she wasn’t. His family later moved away to Salt Lake City leaving her with the kids. My dna matches confirmed it.

As your relative is in a small town that is very very helpful. I’d be looking at neighbours now and seeing if you had any of them in your dna.

I’d also look at other men who might also have worked as servants in the area. And men who employed servants also.

The dna could solve this, as it did mine.