Bad relationship with dad,Where do I go from here?

[churrosandicecream]

My relationship with my dad has always been rocky.
We argued a lot when I was a teenager he was quite strict and I wanted to do the teenager thing and 'rebel' slightly. I never done drugs I just drank on the weekends at parties.
Anyway so him and my mum broke up when I was around 14. She cheated on him and she moved out. I lived with him for around. Year and a half it wasn't bad but wasn't great. After that year and a bit they got back together and tried to rekindle their relationship but it didn't work and he moved away. He now lives around 4 hours away.
I'm not 21 and I don't really speak to him. Last time I spoke to him was June. He doesn't even text me to see how I am? The most upsetting part since my little boy was born (he's 18 months) he has seen him 3 times and doesn't have any kind of relationship with him really.
Me and my husband had a argument in August and my mum told my dad about it. Now I feel awkward to talk to him as I know he will bring t up and I don't want to talk about it. Me and my husband have moved on and are in a good place. I hate the fact I don't speak to my dad because when I was younger he was amazing at being a dad and husband to my mum. He would go above and beyond. Whenever I do talk to him on the phone it's awkward with silences and no conversation flows. I just don't know what to do is it upsets me a lot as he's not seeing my son grow up. Any advice?

I just think be honest with him? Meet up have a meal and just let him know how you feel, especially that he was a great dad when you was a kid! Your son is a great way to build that bond back up and maybe once you put the olive branch out more he might take it?

Let me know how you get on xxx

@tinkiewinkiewoo
Yeah that's a really good idea. It's just getting the time to see eachother as he lives so far away. I guess even if I just rung him. I've been thinking of maybe sending him a letter just explaining everything and how I feel and how I want the future to be. I mean it's worth a try. We are both very stubborn people and quite alike so I think that's why we clash.
I'll defiantly give it a go though my fear is god
Forbid something happening to him and I feel guilty for the rest of my life because I have no relationship with him. I mean he's still young but anything can happen! And yeah I definitely will keep you updated thankyou for your support and advice xxx

A letter is a really good idea! Because it allows you to write at your own pace and think properly about what to say, as on the phone you can say things without even thinking about how you should or wanted to of said it! Xxxx

OP, it might be a good idea to ask MNHQ to move your thread to 'relationships'where you'll probably get more responses.