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Original poster

Would you want to know?

23 replies

Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 14:11

My DF was married twice - he had 2 daughters from his first marriage and I was born in his second marriage. Second marriage ended in the 70's - his daughters were maybe aged around 10 born mid/late 60's. DF moved to a different city and afaik they lost touch/possibly some family arguments. My DF and DM went on to be married for 42 years until they both sadly passed away this year, in their 70's.
I guess my question is, there are no other family members I know of on my DF's side, so no one to notify of his passing. But should I maybe add it to ancestry on the off chance that someone looks for him in the future? I feel a bit like I should put it out there for his DD's/their future family to find. Or would you not be interested?

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 14/12/2017 14:56

I would be, but it might be a bit of a shock if they were looking for him and found out in such an impersonal way. Do you know where they are? Or have any information that would let you trace them so you can let them know in a more sensitive way. I mean, they might not be interested, but at least you would have tried to do the diplomatic thing.

curryforbreakfast · 14/12/2017 15:04

It wouldn't be very difficult to find them and tell them yourself. They may have been wondering for decades what happened to their father.

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 15:52

I know bits of info about them, but have never tried to contact them - would it not be worse some random person contacting you to break the news? I wouldn't know where to look for them, they could be married? So no maiden name. I have no idea what their mum was called either.

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 14/12/2017 15:57

They aren't random people though, they are your sisters? They don't know you exist so can't look for you.

RestingGrinchFace · 14/12/2017 16:00

I think that it would be worse if you told them-there is a good chance that they don't want to know. If they want to find out they will be able to find out easily.

Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 14/12/2017 16:01

If you know the area they were born and rough age then you can do a birth search it’s actually remarkably easy to do. The problem comes if you have a common surname.

Also searching previous electoral rolls/census can give you lots of information

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2017 16:02

You could use online sources to find the two sisters birth registration and then search for possible marriages in the mid 1980 onwards

I would suggest a letter as first point of contact

They may be delighted to have found a sister, if you want any help then private message me and I can have a look for you

HappyintheHills · 14/12/2017 16:04

And Ancestry wil help you to find any marriages.

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2017 16:04

Census are only available until 1911 no census information is available after this date due to DPA, and ops sisters were born 1960s

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 16:08

@curryforbreakfast I know, just to them I am some random person. I guess I would like to give them the chance to ask any questions... I don't know really? A letter may be a nice way to do that, then if they aren't interested they can just tear it up and forget about me. I guess I just don't want to stir up any trouble/upset for them, but I'd hate to think someone hadn't tried, and I'm the only one left.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 16:09

Not a common surname either....

OP posts:
Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 16:10

Would I just google? Or reactivate ancestry to look there? Sorry for so many questions.

OP posts:
HappyintheHills · 14/12/2017 16:24

Ivykaty Ancestry has up to date Marriage info, you don’t need census.

HappyintheHills · 14/12/2017 16:25

You could search for marriage in Ancestry. I’ll look for you if you PM your sisters names

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 16:53

Thank you, I've just found the name of my Dad's first wife, and the names and year of birth of his daughters... where would I look next.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/12/2017 19:34

Are there any inheritance implications here OP? There might be if your Dad died without leaving a will.

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2017 20:36

Happyinthehills yes I know, but someone else on the thread suggested census, thus my explanation

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2017 20:37

Tinkly - not if ops father died before her mother

ivykaty44 · 14/12/2017 20:38

Op now search for the daughters marriages

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 14/12/2017 21:00

Yes, look for any marriages, also look at the electoral register. I don't know much about tracing living people, but I know it can be done. If you get stuck ask here, or try Ancestry or Rootschat.

Original poster
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/12/2017 21:29

My mum died in June, my Dad died in August. Both their wills state that everything goes to each other, if that's not possible then it's all left to me. Will have a look for marriages, thank you.

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 26/12/2017 01:08

I'd put the info in a tree on ancestry and mark it as private, so if anyone searches for your dad they need to contract you to get the info. I'd also do an ancestry DNA test which could then connect you to family members in the future.

eloisesparkle · 29/12/2017 09:46

Isn't it sad that your dad left nothing to his daughters from his first family and was no contact with them ?
They may feel terribly hurt by his treatment of them.

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